Just want to share this.
I'm an introvert. I don't normally reply to someone's comment or give feedback to someone's post. I rather enjoy spending and interacting with one or two people. Mostly my family ONLY. Even with my Mother-in-law or let's say with my husband's family, I'm having a hard time bonding and engaging with them. There are times that they are already spreading gossips towards me. Talking behind my back that I'm arrogant, hard to live with. I don't know if it's with me or with them. It's kinda hard since I want to talk to them, but I am shy. I don't know how to start a conversation, when I do I don't normally finish it and start to walk away.
Though I'm an introvert, I easily get hurt. I always overthink things. Even with small issues with family, I overthink it, and sometimes, I even made it a bigger issue. I envy my husband's brother's wife for she can easily get along with my husband's family. She can easily bond and interact with them. While me, hiding at the back of the curtain and silently watching them. Sometimes, I got to the point that I'm again over thinking that they are gossiping about me, or they do, I don't know.
Though I am an introvert, I am thoughtful and merciful. I love old people. I pity those old people who are still working. I silently help them. I buy them food if I have extra money. I pray for them.
I am not happy about this pandemic but this is one of the best opportunities even given to me. To work from home- at least I do not have to go to our office, interact with my teammates and bosses. I just work at home. Work with integrity, follow the company's rules. quality guidelines and my supervisor's tasks and I have no problem at all. I'm happy to be with my 5-year-old son, I've got a chance to have a bond with him- to take care of him. One of my struggles as an introvert is to be far from the person we love. I don't know, sometimes even if I will only go to work, I am feeling sad and wants to cry. I don't want to be far from my husband and son. I don't want to leave my son. That's why when this pandemic started and we were given the chance to work from home, I immediately grab it.
I always pray to God that may He gives me more strength and understanding. May He brings me in the right direction. I don't want to hurt other's feelings just because I am not comfortable hanging with them. May all those people I hurt forgive and understand me.
I wish I could do more. I wish I would have the courage to get along with others. But I just can't. I am happy the way I am. The thing I have and the people I have now. One of my introverted friends once told me we do not need a lot of friends. We do not need people who cant understand us. We just need to be with the one we love and we can say that life is perfect!
I wrote this because I just want to express myself. I just want to let these words out of my mind. I want to let these out of my heart.