We don't just hear and understand words when we listen to someone; we also pick up on their tone of voice, volume, and tempo. We may also use this knowledge to understand someone's mood if we know them well. When they're nervous, they may talk more quickly, for example.
Gestures, eye contact, facial expressions, body language, whether a person is fiddling with something, crying, or some other movement that expresses something to us without using verbal sounds are all examples of nonverbal communication. It can sometimes communicate knowledge as effectively as verbal communication.
It's important to be mindful of a person's 'norm' when interpreting their verbal and nonverbal communication. It's common knowledge that if someone doesn't make eye contact, they're more likely to be lying. The ‘norm' for someone who is blind, neurodivergent, nervous, or just doesn't like eye contact might be to look away. In this situation, maintaining eye contact might be more important than avoiding it. Eye contact may indicate that they're communicating something important to them.
We may have heard the phrase "successful listening" before, but we may not understand what it means in practice. Although active listening does not come naturally to everyone, it is a skill that can be developed over time.
When we consciously listen, we concentrate on the person who is speaking in order to fully comprehend what they are saying. We try not to disturb the speaker and allow him or her time to talk. We ask questions if we don't understand what they've said, and we also reiterate what they've said in our own terms to double-check our comprehension.
When we engage in active listening, we are actively participating in the discussion.
Active listening is vital because it helps us to comprehend what is being said to us fully. We form meaningful relations with one another as a result of this understanding. By actively listening, we demonstrate that we value the speaker's viewpoint and consider what they have to say to be relevant and worthwhile. This is especially important if the speaker is addressing a subject that they find difficult to address.
We will improve our active listening skills over time. We should focus on specific items to develop our listening skills. For instance, we could:
Sit in silence (or at least quiet!) for a while. It can be very uncomfortable at first, but the more we do it, the simpler it will become.
Keep an open mind. Make it a habit to ask questions.
Pay attention. Try to concentrate on individual sounds in a crowded, noisy environment. Do they have a particular rhythm if you're into them? Is it stable or does it fluctuate? Is it possible to tell what stage of the cycle they're in based on the sound they make?
Patience is needed. Allow others to talk first. Try to stay away from ‘jumping in.'
Be sensitive to other people's viewpoints and experiences. We may not agree with anything they say, but by actively listening, we may better understand their point of view and participate in constructive conversations about our different perspectives.
Consider our reactions. We don't have to respond to stuff right away. Practice pausing to absorb what has been said before responding.
It's important to remember that we're all different, so we'll prefer different communication styles if we talk about communication and listening.
Some people prefer to talk by sitting in a quiet space with a cup of tea in hand and facing another human. Others are profoundly dissatisfied with this and have their most honest talks while walking the dog or driving.
Eye contact and sensitive body language, such as ‘leaning forwards,' are discussed in many ‘listening' blogs. They even explore how to listen without getting distracted. While this may be suitable for certain people, it may not be appropriate for others; they may dislike eye contact, have little body language, and listen better while doodling.
Some people are at ease talking about everyday 'stuff,' but find it difficult to address 'difficult' subjects. Others need a considerable amount of time to express themselves. Some people find open communication challenging and prefer a question-and-answer format, while others find it restricting and stressful.
There is no “one size fits all” method for an effective conversation, just as there is no “one size fits all” method for something else in life, and we can't presume that someone isn't listening to us based on a generalized understanding of what active listening looks like. We'll learn how people want to interact when we get to know them, and we'll be able to say when they're hearing and when they're actively listening.
Listening to someone with heart open is the best thing to do