Feelings about today

13 September 2022

I attended the marriage ceremony of my best friend and since i come back from her marriage ceremony I'm not feeling good. I don't know why this happened to me? Is it due to any mentally reason or physically fatigue? But i don't feel good and healthy. Maybe both factor's are involved in this.

I'm tired mentally or physically

Actually i did almost all preparation for that day with her so physically fatigue is obvious thing and my mind is upset because now there's no one whom i talk at night except my husband. Maybe you don't know but there's a lot of difference between husband and best friend. Now it take some time to thing's go back to normal again. Obviously when you're involved in a person and than suddenly another person comes in her life than it's bit difficult for you.

Since yesterday evening I've bad throat and headche and i sleep around 4am but from past two nights i can't sleep for a single moment. I tried to sleep but i can't sleep. And than finally i Leave the bed around 7 am in morning.

What i did today?

Honestly if i speaking truth than i did nothing today. I just laying over the bed and gazing at the ceiling. Mom prepared the breakfast and also ready my lil princess and send her to School. My lil princess always showing her love for me before going to school advice me to took medicine as i always advice her when she's ill. So in the same way she said mama Don't forgot to take medicine.

I called my mom and she noticed my voice isn't normal. She said you missed me so you come here for a day or for some time and than you can feel good.

I called my bestie and she also noticed the same thing but you know best friend are best friends, she taunt me that you're gonna miss me or you're feeling jealous if I've handsome hubby and than we laughed but after a few minutes i said her bye and cut the call.

Last night i don't want to use my cell phone so i keep it on silent and than decided to not use the phone. But around 3am i checked it there's two missed calls from my husband but I didn't called him back because i know at that time he's sleeping. Neither i leave a text for him. The reason is that i don't want to talk to him. I don't know why whenever I'm sick I don't want to talk to him.

That's the very awkward and wiered behavior but i always having such type of behavior for him. And then i start to ignore him. Means i don't reply to his text neither i received his calls. All i want is he lives with me but he doesn't!!!! He lives abroad for the sake of money. Okay he has right to live there but than he shouldn't care about me when I'm getting sick because i can go to doctor, i can took my medicine on Time.

Ending words

Actually sometimes we don't need money, we need the person with us. That's why i become aggressive to him but than later as i feel good my mood also change to him. My mom always said to me you're showing childish behavior to him.

I decided to go to doctor too but i didn't went there too. I just took a tablets of paracetamol and i know it's not enough. Mom forced me to go to doctor but i refuse to go there by saying I'm okay now.

Lead image is from unsplash picture

Thank you