Hey, he didn't try to be the best at everything in school. He just concentrated on trying to get things right. From keeping healthy and eating good food and working out in the gym regularly, to trying to get a handle on the subjects he was weakest in and improving them. It all took time and effort, determination and focus. It's like trying to take all your frustrations and energy, bundle them up into a tiny ball and squash them into the locker of time that's about ten times smaller. He just couldn't see how he'd ever accomplish it given that weeks were ticking by and school exams were approaching, but he tried. And though it was exhausting and he didn't manage to do half the social side of things he wanted to, he came out the other end virtually unscathed. You see, Anirudh Patel was a boy on the cusp of young adulthood waiting to prove what he could be in the world. What he could accomplish and all that he could achieve. He didn't stand out or want to get noticed. Didn't seek fortune or fame for now, though he'd willingly take them as just rewards for his hard work and merits. He simply wanted to be himself. Not what his friends wanted, nor his parents or teachers, but him. What he wanted.
You might think this is an easy thing to do when you're seventeen and your childhood years are almost behind you. But people still bombard you with their high hopes of your future. Friends still make demands on your attention and time, wanting you to be everywhere and yet Nowhere of interest to you. It takes a real strong will to remain diligent, stay focussed and upbeat, resilient and wise. Here he was hidden away studying in his room with his big rimmed glasses obscuring those wickedly dazzling blue Eyes. As usual he's engulfed in clothes a size too large because he likes the way they hide his physique. He thinks the girls will laugh at his endeavours to stay fit and bulk up, and the boys will get weird and competitive. He can't afford the undue attention from either sex, he just wants to be left alone for now. He can worry about girlfriends and being best mates with all the guys later, when he's achieved what he needs to. That's what he tells himself, but Anirudh has a secret. He won't tell people because they won't understand, they'll treat him differently, act weird. That's the last thing he wants. He just wants to bc deemed normal. The best version of normal he can be, given that his ADD fucks shit up. It's his curse, but his reality too. And he works at it every day. He works HARD to keep it under control.
You see it runs in his family. Luckily his little brother and sister don't have it. He's glad of that. He wouldn't want them to have to face what he's been through. You see Attention-Deficit Disorder may sound not so debilitating but he knew the truth of it. He worked so hard just to appear normal and like the rest in his class. So hard to keep on track and be up there with the best of them. But there were problems, serious issues that he knew he had to keep a lid on if he were to stay himself. It went beyond just Simply trying to pay attention, it was exhausting. It was tough. It was demoralising and frustrating He would Forget stuff and seem disorganised. He had to write himself reminders and post notes on his phone and his tablet with schedules and prompts. He had slots of time and he had to keep himself controlled and disciplined enough to stick to them or else he'd be lost. For others they seemed to find it all so easy but he was hiding his secret. He didn't want anyone to know. He saw himself negatively in the early days. Had low self esteem and anger issues, became withdrawn and temperamental. His mum knew some of the signals and watched for them. His dad, who had a mild version of it coaxed him through the tough times and they hired hima counsellor. Rather that than the juvie record he was about to chalk up as a result of his anger and bottled up emotions. They were frightened he'd take it out on those around him. They couldn't have been more right. Not after that incident. That triggered it all.
To be continued.
