Since her last meeting with Omar, Mariam had been unable to keep him out of her thoughts. And she hated it. She hated thinking about him, she hated the sound of his voice reverberating in her thoughts, she hated his image constantly flashing in her memories whenever she closed her eyes. And right now, she hated the fact that she wished to see him. Yes, she hated him, at least that was what she told herself and she wanted to believe that. She chose to.
The man was witfull, handsome and his sense of pride was not actually all that annoying now that she thought of it. It was kind of impressive to have someone praise himself so daringly and without fear. Some of the other suitors before him had either been quite timid before her or they boasted of what they had, what they could acquire, and the number of women they had or could get, but Omar hadn't.
With his looks and intelligence, Mariam knew for a definite fact that he was well sorted after, she knew that he was aware of that fact but he had not boasted of how many women he could get but instead he had told her of the one woman he loved and had only wanted with all of his heart. She wanted that kind of love, that kind of attention, and that kind of loyalty. Perhaps she also wanted that kind of man, would she be called greedy or selfish for craving another woman's lover? They were, after all, set to get married in just a few days.
A part of her wanted this union, Omar was the hottest suitor almost every girl in Saudi was talking about, she had gotten the gossip from Parvina, and having him for a husband would make her every girl envy. She thought of that a lot, as a princess she knew many envied her, and getting Omar bin Khalid, the well-traveled, drop-dead gorgeous looking man as a husband would be the icing on the cake with a cherry on top. She smiled, she just couldn't help being vain sometimes.
But a part of her also didn't want this because of the man's attitude and she wondered if she would be able to cope with such if they eventually ended up getting married. She would either have to get used to it or expect him to tone it down a notch, his pride was off the charts but honestly, she wanted to meet with him again having only met him just once before. The little chat they had when he had taken her into the room replayed in her memories numerous times and with each time it replayed, the situation became funnier to her. She laughed now, oh how she wished she could leave the palace to go see him.
Walking down the hallway leading to the back garden, she wondered if she had fallen for him already. She could not have, or had she already? No, no, it was too soon for someone she had only met and talked to once. But she couldn't help the smile that crept up to her lips whenever she thought of him. She placed both palms on her cheeks to cover the redness and felt the heat that radiated through them.
Thinking about what Saadiya had told her about falling for him in a glance, she couldn't help but feel stupid. Maybe she liked him, maybe she found him attractive and maybe she had fallen for him, she just didn't want to admit that just yet. The color spread from her cheeks to her nose and she suddenly felt hot, so she fanned herself with her hand breathing out from her mouth as she recalled the little chat she had with Saadiya.
"You know you should be lucky, you get to marry a man who is still quite young." Saadiya had said to her.
"Lucky? Just because he is young?" Mariam asked.
"Yes lucky, and not just because he is young, but think of it, Madeeha was given to a man almost as old as her father, do you remember?"
"Yes, I remember. I do cringe at the thought though." Mariam had shivered, managing a smile.
"And any time I remember that I do feel for her."
"Why would you feel for her? She herself said she was happy. She wanted it."
"And you believed that?"
"Well, it was evident. She knew what she wanted, did she not? It is her feeling after all."
"You say it like she had a choice, like the man was someone she was in love with."
"She could have been, for her to be that happy. You never can tell how one feels towards another."
"And what about you?"
"What about me..."
"What about your feelings?"
"My feelings...? They are... wait, what about my feelings?"
"What do you feel for Omar?"
"For Omar? I feel nothing. I have nothing to feel for him but spite!" She spat at which Saadiya laughed.
"Mariam dear, you are still a young woman with an unstable heart, you'll fall for Omar in a glance." she had smiled. "And it will be soon, that I promise you."
But was 'soon' too soon? She didn't want it to be so, but then who could control her emotions if not her. But she didn't feel in control anymore, the feelings she was experiencing swept her off her feet without giving her a breathing space. She liked it, didn't she? She couldn't tell, but she knew she was beginning to like the person affecting the emotions running wild in her heart.
As she continued down the hallway, the voices coming from the last room in the hallway told her that father had a guest he was attending to. What they were discussing was not supposed to be a concern of hers and she really didn't want to listen in on their conversation. She continued walking down the hallway absentmindedly and very deep in thoughts, walking past the door and minding her business until the door was swung open.
"Princess Mariam."
She stopped and turned to respond to the greeting but froze on seeing him.
"Omar?"
He smiled at her and bowed slightly, she responded the same way in greeting, lowering her eyes. She couldn't help the smile that came to her lips and she was grateful that he couldn't see it because of the cloth that covered the lower part of her face. He was really here!
"You came?" She asked but felt dumb immediately the words were out of her mouth. Of course, he came, he's standing in front of you dummy. She mentally whacked herself and managed a smile.
"You look surprised, were you not expecting to see me?"
That caught her off guard and she stammered. "Well... I... not exactly..."
He laughed. "I was teasing you, it's quite easy."
Mariam smiled. "Still, I'm happy you came by."
"Hmmm, yes I had to." He nodded. "There were some pressing issues I was having trouble dealing with and had to come see his highness to talk to him about them."
"Pressing issues?" She couldn't help but be curious.
"Yes, it was important that I had to come here personally." He stood straight and pocketed his hands.
"About the marriage perhaps? Did you tell him?"
Omar smiled. "I came here for something else princess. Business matters."
She mouthed an "oh." And smiled, batting her eyelids and looking to the ground. She didn't want him to tell her father anything concerning the marriage, let the plan just go accordingly. Yes, she wanted to be selfish and greedy. Her own happiness was paramount.
"I will take my leave now, it was lovely seeing you again princess." He spoke with a smile but the edge in his voice portrayed a different emotion. She stood and watched him walk away.
It seemed like he was slightly upset which made her wonder what he must have been discussing with her father. Was it that he had come here to speak of his lack of interest towards the marriage and he chose not to tell her? No, she doubted that, if that was what he came here for, he wouldn't have come alone. Or maybe...? Her curiosity would push her to ask her father but she knew that she couldn't, it was not supposed to be her business knowing what they talked about.
"Mariam?" She faced her father who is just called her name and she bowed in greeting.
"As-salamu Alaikum your highness."
"Wa'alaikum salaam, did you see Omar on his way out? He just left not long ago."
"Yes, father I did."
"Mariam, I should have asked before, are you happy with this union? Tell me honestly."
Mariam looked down, if he had asked her this question the day before or two days ago she would have told him she was not interested at all, that she hated the man, his pride, his attitude, everything irked her. That neither of them liked each other and neither of them wanted the marriage. But now, she had begun to really like him and yes she wanted this. She would be greedy, she would be selfish, she would put herself first.
"Yes father, I am happy."
"That's good, then so am I. You can go now."
Mariam bowed and turned, heading back to her room, the thrill of going to the garden having vanished. She was happy that she had seen Omar, and she wished to see more of him. Six days now till the marriage.
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