There’s a moment he will recall forever of her walking towards him along the winter path. They had arranged to meet beside the shrouded bandstand that gave protection from a bitter wind.
She looked so beautiful, wrapped in a knee length fur lined coat with red hat gracefully balanced atop her vivid hair.
The detail remained as sharp as ever.
Why didn’t he tell her he loved her there and then?
Why didn’t he announce it to the world?
He knew why he couldn’t speak and it stung his soul. He knew why and burned inside with the knowledge.
He had grown up in a home where love remained silent; an absent emotion that withered on the vine. He knew this as he took her hand, kissed her cheek, paid her a silly compliment about her frozen nose and made small talk as they headed towards the warmth of a restaurant.
She wasn’t his, of course.
He possessed no one and had given his soul to none. He was a man inviolate. She was all too briefly a part of his life, but he should have spoken. He should have told her, “I love you for all that you are.”
Instead he smiled and laughed, bought coffee and cake, laced the conversation with a multitude of interesting facts.
And she never knew, unless she knew, feeling discretion to be the better part of tact.
Afterwards he let her go, though it tore his heart to do so; when all he wanted was to hold her tight, to breathe in the perfume of her life.
He knew she had to leave; she wasn’t his to keep, he had merely borrowed her from another who adored her as much as he did.
On that day her eyes were bright with life. She held the vitality of an unconquered spirit within her precious soul.
She seemed so small, so slender, so in touch with all he wanted and needed from a love. His sole desire was to sweep her into his arms and hold her close.
Love can last forever, or may last the length of a pleasant afternoon.
Given the confusion in his heart and all he subsequently discovered what he found was that love will light the fires of memory for an eternity of time.
In all the years following, and each time they met, he never stopped loving her or allowed the experience of that day to slip away. And though he was destined to meet a beautiful woman with whom he exchanged vows, how could he ever forget?
But why didn’t he speak?
That was too heartbreaking this time ;;-;; why indeed. Was he that foreign to love?