The antidote to life is responsibility plus truth. As we go through the world, it's really good at pointing out at us that we don't matter, that we are such dogs or condoms and tampons so much that we need to keep moving so people can enjoy their cycles with drinks and what not. Is that a lie? I dare think it's the truth that the world is just ruthless like that. And so think skin is really needed in this game called life. The world initially has you on the end of a joystick where you are at the mercy of its instructions and directions. If you get out ahead of it early then you know you had it good. Most people especially those from the last aged never find out about any of this. Once the world has on on a leash it's stays well, at least in your view as the obedient dog, doing all that an obedient dog does to please the owner, and the owner is pleased knowing that the dog will do anything it's told to do. On top of that, the dog is afraid of the owner too but will defend the owner probably to the death.
Im sure most of my life has been spend as a dog to Christ. I mean I've spend most of my life vouching so much for the indoctrination. But there's something much better than that point, which happened as I faced my demons, not that it's the first time. You've read about my mindless rants before, so this is nothing new but rather a graduation into better grammar maybe if there a lift in spirit. So I have married my demons even further or deeper. Don't really know which word to use right but I've been transmuting so much of the negativity around me that I sort of embedded this specific transmutation into my breath, and my finger works. I had since forgot about it until I've heard some things that would normally have me go off and I didn't. I tried to diagnose myself to find out what's blocking those vibes from getting me off. Nope no answer but my ninja wouldn't even let me ponder on this one for long. I remember the one time I got elevated and he told me that I'm depressed. And that's all he said, "you are depressed". I'm not one to disagree with my own ninja but I really don't know about the depression, if it is indeed depression then it's probably functional depression. As I work through life's many many web corbs that I have played a very major role in setting up, I get to see the life that I had set up prior to this unleashing. I had set up perfection and the only thing that was missing from him was the truth in the feelings of those around us. The first person and second person wording must be confusing but there's him and me and then there's us when the child is involved. It's all me but there's wimp me, supreme me and kid me. I mostly deal with the wimp one,the supreme me is something else and my guide, the child was hurt, it's the healing that played the biggest role in throwing off the things that would have me run for the mountains by now.
I love my progress, especially when things get to be on repeat. There's this chill that comes over me as the child starts to notice the similarities in the wording and language use, heck I don't know, there's probably some vibrations and frequencies similarities when someone tries to double cross us again for the billionth time. So I just feel it in me to listen or have the moment after which I can collect all the trash, transmute it and move on like it's nothing. The difference is that I feel no pain at all, it's like muted or something. It used to hurt so bad. Coupled with primordial emotions and feelings that would sort of get me in different moods to assert dominance or control maybe both. Now that I don't get that anymore, I get to look at things a bit different. Nope we are not out of the woods yet but it's coming together. In the coming together I recognize how much of a fool I've been. I'm so glad it's fazing out. It's all me, I don't want to not take on my truth and responsibilities. I own up to all my calamities, they are just too interesting to give away the credit to these little puny excuses of beings. Who actually love doing .,sorry for being human doing....hahaha
Jokes aside, I've found that by sort of coming in Union or communion with my demons, I have found that taming them was my way to chill. It doesn't stop there, there's levels to this gig. There's more demon levels and Saint levels to master and hopefully not repeat because I'm so darn tired of repeating cycles. Before I came out of the last one it felt like a nightmare that followed me waking up and in the middle of my dreams. Like the succubus that never leaves my side. Always suckling on me, well gladly not my titties...... If I had titties I'd probably cut em off. Just saying the kind of bonds I've made over time are on another advancement. Plus the fears that I've picked up, on repeating them cycles I knew very well to keep moving and do all I can to stay on the path but I found myself coming short. In terms of bad trades, getting into the market blind. Drinking, eating dirt, drinking fluoride or taking it in in some other form. It's a mad headache. Of course I don't expect to go around fire and not sweat. In this case I've burned, called, and fuxkkkkkked to say the least.
The important part follows well after that recognition. That nothing matters more than that I feel good. If I have to force myself into feeling good then I will. It gets really awkward coming back to writing, my love. Getting back to writing feels like a walk of shame. It's like I forgot the very things that have helped get leveled up into the levels of time traveling to heal the child. It's been epic facing my fears but I found that they seem to have overpowered me for sometime now and only in truth and responsibilities will I be able to curb them again. It is true that this time I'm starting from experience not from scratch. Might be the safety net used to guide a lot but at least my usefulness has shown itself long before the dawn of my time.
The other thing has been having my plans set out the way they should. There's a scramble every time I get to wake up in the morning. It's madness, if I don't hammer on anyone of my projects or challenges the time the idea hits then I'm screwed. I tried adopting the Nikola Tesla way of doing things. Y'all know Nikola Tesla was a mad scientist who invented most of the wireless staff we use including alternating current (electricity) and radio which obviously comes down to all these WiFi things and GSM, 5G what not. So Tesla had this way of doing things and planning them out in his head to completion and only when he was satisfied with it all does he actually bring it out to the drawing board. This is what I tried to adopt but I'd wake up and only remember whatever ideas I had marinating in my head a few days later. In order to keep my memory fresh and refreshing I opted for journaling. Which didn't help much, so I wrote, Dint help much, so I traded, didn't help much, I recorded videos of motivation and me working my bones out, still no help. One can imagine the frustration felt in these times and the world I was blaming omg. I had to continue anyway and found closure in the composure that build up from the accumulation of the content I had been putting out. Mostly the articles half them that is to cryptocurrency and the other half is my craze for the Phoenix and his girls. It's been a very interesting trip that I need to continue as he splits into two identical Half's that are world apart, literally. Later to merge into something so powerful the very artifact responsible for his split shall be put to shame in a mystical majestic way.
This wasn't the only help to my course, I recently started a podcast. Recording some first few episodes has me feel that I needed to do this earlier. It I did, record some vns but I always ended up deleting them and disregarding them. With this podcast, I found I can increase exposure and attract advertising partners. It's too interesting to not take a shot, what's the worst that could happen? I grow? Haha..... That's my power word of the year that no matter what, I grow! That is my resolution! I am feeling myself get stronger and smarter every single day. From every damage incurred, I learned much more than I cried about before, now I focus on what the lesson is about and the revelation on the personality that the puny before me is presenting. It's a real good play of events but I found that I can not slack. When I do, shit goes down. When this happens I repeat cycles and that's not pretty because there's a lot of dirt in there and all progress is lost but for that reason I stay super thankful to experience and all my recordings in writing or vn or video. They might come of to the world as clout or money thirsts, but to me it's my way of reminding myself why I started. I find myself in trans states where I'm bit. I cannot really do much but autopilot staff like activate mines and tip on publish0x or scroll through VK, IG, TGX or Tik too, I can't even get myself to read and critic a full article. I dread times like these. I have found that going through my own work helps revive those energies and memories that went in or got formed during the working stage. Then I'd find myself reading, writing and publishing again,slowly. It's been a bit of a hiccup, much time lost and too much of what we call self respect or dignity drained out or sucked out. But when we got to that level of finding that privacy is overrated then we chill. There's no need to worry once you do the necessary work, like the shadow staff, get the light codes and all other staff only points you to more clarity igniting staff. Everything is working out for my good always, all the plans I put forth come together for my good. Much that seem like losses is actually necessary for me to be the realest and most savage greatest version of myself. All the added benefits of becoming bad and balancing the good. The Yin Yang type of thing. These types of information collected along the way helps us stand aside and reflect on our own behavior in order to heal but also understand where we keep going wrong so we make it right. The starting point had to be the fear, there was just so much fear that we had to marry it. So much paranoia at times that we just hit the fux it button. It's been an interesting trip and so we are keeping at it, our mining, our trading, our loving, our writing, our vibiing, our philosophy - very important indeed. We need to keep it going well and strong. No tips or monetary rewards, that's ok too, we will write for our own personal growth.
I think I found what I'd like to do for the rest of my life or at least keep growing in it. Blocking out the noise and fears and hopefully get chances to help those lost like me. It's the hardest thing being lost to yourself, everything else is secondary. But who knows, I'm pretty selfish, I might just get my money right and be a loner. Like a dog I'm or is condom they say, I don't care. Probably wil just go on and find some place to fux myself and keep away from the whole world or go around minimally impacting them as I just get what I cannot grow myself and get going anyway. It's not hard to see hate in the eyes of the people but it's good to see the light and love too. This light and love a little shadows by arrogance is what I love inspiring in the world. Especially in the utterly broken ones, give then something new,something old but supremely valuable but never something borrowed.
The end.....
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Next time you'll but me coffee 😏😅.
I'd like to hear from you, don't let fear keep your comments in mind. Bring them out, let's read and critic each other.
