It is nothing new that people have trouble getting along with family members. There is a well known saying: "The people you know create contempt".
Do your family members enjoy talking to each other and doing things together? Or do you think they are looking for their closest friends outside of the family circle? Unfortunately, this is happening to more and more families today. But why?
Some causes of family tension
Have you noticed that some family members sometimes have personal habits that irritate the rest of the family? Bad habits include sloppy table manners, refusing to do their part of the housework, or insisting on staying up late and making noise while others are trying to sleep.
There are those who practice by increasing the faults of others while neglecting their own. It can cause a sensation in a house. People who are constantly criticized often react to themselves and become critical of the abuser. This sets off a seemingly endless cycle of competitions that steal the joy of being at home. You will likely find families along the way.
In other families, individuals may tend to isolate themselves with private interests in order to exclude the rest of the family. For example, parents and children can go almost unnoticed because they watch TV a lot, listen to music, or have a favorite hobby.
What impact can isolation from personal interest have on family relationships? How do you feel when someone ignores you? There is a risk that, "if he doesn't care about me, why should I care about him?"
Many homes are affected by these problems. They can undermine family relationships to the point where the home is little more than a “gas station” for eating and sleeping.
What is it that makes so many families worse? The Bible accuses a dangerous attitude of mind, some of which is characteristic of all human beings. What is this attitude?
A dangerous mental attitude
The apostle Paul addressed the root cause of most human relationship problems when he wrote: "I tell you all not to think more of yourself than necessary." (Rom 12: 3) The attitude Paul wanted to strive against was to think of himself. This usually happens when people live together. Many people find it easy to be polite and humble with strangers and casual acquaintances. But a person's behavior at home can show that their "real self" shows a proud spirit.
A person who has an exaggerated view of himself will not be inclined to adjust his personal habits and uniqueness. When others are concerned, he sees it as a sin. What about those who isolate themselves from others and prefer business, reading, entertainment, or other hobbies to form personal relationships with their spouse and family? Here, too, the problem is to consider personal interests more important than others.
A big change of vision
In order to have a happy family life, the attitudes of all family members must fundamentally change. The Bible helps people do this by saying, "There is no righteous man on earth who continues to do good and not to sin."This is indeed true! Therefore, a person who is aware of his hereditary shortcomings should not categorically insist on doing things his own way. Instead, there must be a desire to correct habits that cause problems for others. And a person who realizes his own flaws shouldn't expect others to be perfect. Instead of being a chronic culprit, heed Jesus' warning:
Stop judging that you cannot be judged; . . . So why do you look at the straw in your brother's eyes, but do not see the motto in your eyes? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the straw out of your eye'? when you look! Do you have a gallon in your eyes? Hypocrite! First remove the border from your eye, and you will see clearly how to remove the straw from your brother's eye. "
The apostle Paul gave another important principle that can illuminate family life by writing: “Everyone seeks more, not for his own benefit but for the benefit of the other. Do not do anything out of conflict or selfishness, but humbly when you believe that others are superior to you and keep your eyes open, not out of self-interest in your company but also out of self-interest in others. "
Is that how you feel about the people you live with? How you react when family members talk to you shows your attitude. An altruistic person knows how to listen. Instead of "tuning in" when talking to the speaker or trying to reassure him with occasional "aha", you will show self-discipline to develop a genuine interest in what your family members are doing. talk. A person who "truly believes that others are superior" does not usually turn to television, hobbies or other personal interests. Instead, you will think about what to say and do for the benefit of those you live with.
The need to show honor
A related biblical principle states: “Love one another with brotherly love. Take the initiative by honoring each other.Those who want to follow this counsel will not have a tendency to blame family members as "stupid" or anything more derogatory.
When we honor each other, it is important to involve children. Although young people sometimes try, adults should never treat them like second-class people. Be careful not to offend children with insults like "Little Goblin!" To insult. You're bad, bad, bad! The sad consequence can be a child who thinks he can not do anything right. It can even ruin the child's desire to try. A better way to deal with a child who behaves badly may be: “You are a good boy. But you're feeling really bad today. Not because you do. And now you have to stop!
Those who apply these biblical principles may find it disappointing that other family members are slow to accept contributions in kind. Otherwise, you may have the satisfaction of knowing that God is happy and trying to do right. The biblical counsel is, "When a person endures painful things and suffers unjustly because of his conscience toward God, it is good."
Home life can be really gratifying. But to do this, family members need to develop proper mental attitudes toward themselves and toward others. You must be selfless and not selfish. Take time to reflect on the Scriptural principles discussed in this article. So use them in your life.