Let's talk about breastfeeding and family planning (depo).

Breastfeeding

As a wife and a first-time mom, I planned to breastfeed my child until he is old enough to eat. But that is the opposite of what is happening now.

I struggled to breastfeed my baby since day one. It was stressful knowing that I can't feed my baby properly, and my husband and in-laws are expecting me to do so. I tried my best and felt exhausted every time my baby refuses to. It makes me feel useless. Breastfeeding is the best for babies they say. But how can I give my baby the best?

Weeks have passed, still, my child refuses to be breastfed most of the time and mixed feeding is my last resort. Until it came to a point that he doesn't want to be breastfed anymore. What happened? Why does this happen? Did I not do enough? Questions and disappointment crowd my mind. Maybe breastfeeding is not for me. Is there such a thing? I guess there is.

Acceptance is the only way for me to be free. Free from the voices lingering in my mind. I just want to accept and want to be accepted for what I can give. I don't want to force myself and lose myself for it. I still can do more. Maybe not in that way but I know I'm useful. As long as my husband supports me and believes in me, I will keep going.

Listening to what other people might say won't help at all. So I shrug my shoulder and try to ignore it. I have my reasons and I have my ways. What matters most is that my baby is fine and healthy. I feel great and strong enough to take care of him.

Why does it feel like being a mom is a tournament? We don't have to be perfect cause no one is. As long as we did our best, we stand. We are loved and appreciated by those who know us. So don't be sad and worried. You are doing great.

Family-planning

Have I told you, I got a Depo birth-control shot 2 months after giving birth? Yes, I did. And I guess it has something to do with my breastfeeding issues. The doctor said it's safe for breastfeeding moms and I don't need to worry. But looking at what happened to me, I have second thoughts.

I opted to have injectable birth control to prevent sudden pregnancy. Pills and other methods don't suit me since I'm forgetful and not reliable in that matter. The fear of getting pregnant again creeps me out. I wanted to gain myself back first before going into that same situation again. I had lost a lot and am traumatized by how I gave birth to my first child that I don't even want to think of doing it again.

Am I a bad wife for thinking that way? Am I being selfish? Maybe yes, maybe no. I need to decide for myself. I suffered physically and my husband had struggled too. So we, my husband, and I have talked about this matter and we agreed to put up with injectable birth control.

The shot was painful. The depo injectable shot was a bit plenty that I felt pain while taking it. It was shot in my right shoulder since I'm a lefty person. Before having the shot the doctor made sure I'm on my period. It was my second day and the flow was normal. I also took pregnancy tests days before to make sure it's safe. I got a card and was scheduled for the next shot 3 months after. I need to take the second shot before it expires for it to be effective. Yes, the shot expires 3 months after. And the chance of getting pregnant is still there if you forgot to have the second shot and so on. So I need to continually take the shot until I decided to stop and get pregnant again.

The first week was fine. Until I get headaches once or twice a week. I also lost my appetite for sex. Yes oh yes. I hope my husband won't read this. Every time we do it I need to be an actress. I don't think it applies to all but that's what happened after the shot. I gained weight and was a little cranky.

Now I'm in my second month and the headaches are frequent but tolerable. Sex is okay but not a normal feeling. Once a week is fine for me and once a month is better. But don't diss sex because it's essential to marriage.

What was your experience in family planning? Do you think this method is the best? Is there a better method? I'm having second thoughts of it because as I did my research there's a lot of side effects in this injectable pill.

Share your thoughts in the comment section.

If you have time, please have a browse at my other articles. Like and support.

Photo source from Unsplash