Someone sent me a message via facebook messenger telling me how she's finding it hard to forgive a guy who accused her younger brother of a crime he didn't commit and as a result was incarcerated for a time until his innocence was proven in court. While she felt happy that her brother was finally acquitted, she said she will never be able to forgive that guy no matter how she tried. So, I told her not to forgive him. Stop trying! It is fine if you feel that way.
She logged out without replying me. I thought maybe my reply angered her or something. Then some days later, she sent me a message and said, 'Joya, you caught me off guard the other day, when you told me it's fine not to forgive him. I didn't see it coming. It made me feel some sort of relief and I even find myself letting go of the anger." I told her, you were caught off guard because you saw forgiving as an obligation. You think if you refuse to forgive, you'd have God to answer and that made it a struggle and a burden to you. But, what I did was to stop you from seeing it as an obligation—something you must do and start seeing it as a life inherent in your being. That you can hold on as long as you want until you're ready to let go.
There are one too many things we approach as an obligation unto God. When we don't do those things, we always feel uneasy like there's a fight between good and evil within us whereas, there is not. It is just the sense of obligation to God inspired by religious mentality that produces such chaos within. Only good resides in us. Live freely from any sense of obligation to God and see the very life of Christ in you flow undisturbed.