The last few weeks have been quite a frustrating experience for me. I have met a mother who is always in a state of panic with her daughter. The panic is not over, because the girl has tried to commit suicide several times. The girl is not old, the complexities of life that push one to a terrible thing like suicide, the girl is not that age. The girl is just in school, at this age she is supposed to spend time imagining boyhood. That did not happen to the girl. Because her parents put so much pressure on her about what she was going to study, she could not bear the pressure, and suddenly her life became chaotic. The mother is now rushing the girl from one psychiatrist to another. Surprised, he discovers that a young teenage girl has erected an impenetrable wall inside herself, through which no one can enter now.
I know of another girl who, under the pressure of her mother, decided that she would never be home again, so one day she ran away from home. It could have been a horrible story, in the end it didn’t. Because the girl was rescued from a distant area in time. I don't know how the girl is now.
Just a few days ago I met a boy in my office. The boy could not get admission in the university of his father's choice with the admission test. So Dad kicked him out of the house. The boy is now spending his days relying on the kindness of relatives, acquaintances, borrowing money and filling out forms to somehow pass a university admission test. The boy asked me what he would do now. I was quite surprised to discover, I could not find anything to give him any real and effective advice!
These are just examples of the last few weeks. If I try to recall more previous experiences, I will be able to recount countless incidents like this. Just as there are examples of parents being emotionally devastated by the ruthless behavior of their parents, there are also examples of running away from home and changing one's name for the second time and starting one's life anew.
Let no one think, I am trying to say that all our parents understand this. The number of examples I have given is actually very small. But even then, the fact that there are few such examples is a cause for concern. The anxiety is a little more, because as the days go by we feel that the number of such examples is increasing. Many parents do not understand why it is so easy to understand that children, no matter how young they are, are full-fledged people, have their own judgment, and are forced to make their own decisions.
A few years ago a television channel persuaded me to attend a regular program for a while. On Friday mornings I would talk to the ‘live’ kids on television for a while. The kids would send me their questions, and I would have to answer them. At that time I discovered with a kind of wonder, the biggest question in the life of children and adolescents in this country is whether their parents have the right to interfere in the subject they want to study!
I had to answer that question very carefully. I would tell them that the older their parents are, the more life experience they have. Because of that experience, they know some things that children and teenagers still do not know. So they can listen to their parents' arguments. But they have to decide for themselves how to make a living. I made my own life decisions. I let them decide what they want to study with my children. I hope in my heart that everyone has this freedom in their life.
Parents want to see a better life for their children. But the question is how much more will they go to dream of that beautiful life.
Let me give you an example of how parental abuse can go. In our school-college now the question is asked in a creative way (whenever we talk about the creative way, someone says, 'But you know, now the guidebook for creative questions is out? Before, children just memorized their own textbooks, now with children's textbooks The creative guidebook has to be memorized as well. 'I remind them that by memorizing this guidebook, they will never be able to answer a single question in a real exam! In a real exam, no question will ever come out of this guidebook. Then they will be able to answer all the questions). However, when the initiative was first taken to ask test questions in a creative way, suddenly a kind of writing started against him. Those of us who were able to grasp the importance of this method, all of them just spoke in favor of it. Then suddenly I discovered a strange thing, the parents of the students somehow got up to close the creative question paper. I don't know exactly why, they all started a process to 'size' me. No day, no night, they call me, talk to me, meet me here and there in groups, try to explain things to me. Within a few days of talking to them I discovered the real thing, their argument is very startling. They told me, ‘We totally agree with you, this method is very good. But this year my kids are taking exams. Let them pass the test, then we have no objection to whatever you please! '
Not one of the parents who made my life miserable was one whose children were not examinees that year. None of them have a headache with the education of the children of the country, all their headaches are only with their own children. I discovered with a kind of surprise then that parents who are very vocal about reading are actually very selfish. They never think outside of the good and bad of their own child. There is nothing more enjoyable than talking to selfish people. There is no need to take their conversation seriously.
2.
There is a kind of guardian who is more terrible than a selfish guardian. I usually meet them after the university admission test. This time someone came to my office. A young man with him, I could tell by the look on his face, he was the kind of person who wanted to be admitted to our university. The old gentleman introduced himself. He is an important man, he explained. He shook hands with me and I invited him to sit in front of me. The gentleman introduced himself as a man of our area and went straight to work. He told me that his son could not pass the university admission test, he had to be admitted.
I have heard such requests from time to time that he has to be admitted in your department; But he could not stand the admission test, he has to be admitted, this request is new. I can do such an unjust thing, when people find out that they believe it, I am very disappointed, I am in a very bad mood; But even then I was forced to keep a smile on my face and say that it is not possible to do something like this. Honestly, even if someone tries to do it, there is no way to do it. Our system can do nothing but admit one by one those who are on the merit list.
The gentleman did not believe me, he laughed and said, everything is possible in this country. You have to do it for a person in your country and so on and so forth.
This kind of talk went on for a while, and I looked at this young man and his guardian sitting side by side with a kind of surprise. At one point I had to be tough, to say rudely that this guy is sitting next to you and trying to get him admitted to this university completely unjustly! What does the boy think of you now? He knows that his guardian is a criminal, has he come to another criminal?
The gentleman was very upset and said goodbye. My insides became bitter all day. The number of such parents is increasing day by day, they do wrong in front of their children, children have to do wrong to get something. There is no need to be honest. I got what I was supposed to get. A very childish thing about this has cut a lot of scars inside me. I am sitting at the book fair, hundreds of children are crowding in and taking my autograph. When I saw that it was not going to be managed, I lined them up. A little bit of discipline came back, but it's not that there's no hutoputi. Then suddenly a lady stood her son in front of the line and said, 'Give him an autograph in his book.' I asked the boy, 'Have you come along the line like everyone else?' , Yes, he has come to the line. 'I asked the boy again,' Are you really in the line? 'The boy could not say anything, the mother said again, he was in the line, did not break the line. I saw it with my own eyes but without trying to play on this little thing in the crowd I autographed the boy’s book and told him, ‘I saw, you broke the line! Why did you do that? '
The boy's face flushed in disgust at the moment. He looked at his mother with sharp eyes. Then he looked at me and said, ‘I didn’t want to. My mother made me. '
I put my hand on the baby's head and whispered, "From now on, even if you want to have a mother, you won't do it, right?"
The child nodded and nodded. My idea is, when a child is born, they don’t know how to do wrong. There is no joy in doing wrong, when parents or guardians do wrong in front of their child, teach the child to do wrong, they learn to do it. A beautiful mind gradually becomes corrupted.
There are many serious allegations against some coaching centers for medical admission test in our country. They bring parents and their children together. Parents have arrangements for food and sleep, while the examinees wake up at night to memorize the leaked medical questions. The children know that their parents have given them a chance to memorize the leaked questions with a few lakh rupees. I don't know if their conscience hurts about that. They are doing a lot of wrong with money but I don't know how those parents look into the eyes of their children. I want to know!
I feel very bad for writing such an upsetting ugly subject; But I can get it out of my mind. Because every day I meet with my real parents. They are raising their children with deep love. Giving your time to fulfill the child's hobbies. At the book reading festival of Biswasahitya Kendra, parents brought their children with difficulty. Mathematics, science, physics are encouraging children to participate in such Olympiads. Taking you to a drawing festival; Teaching children to love the country, teaching people to love. I have seen extremely poor uneducated parents who have given up everything in their lives to teach their children to read and write. I know, I have nothing to be disappointed with.
But when I see a young man with a dry face telling me that his father kicked him out of the house for not doing well in the admission test, my familiar world becomes chaotic. When I hear that a girl is trying to commit suicide due to mental distress under the intense pressure of her parents or she has run away from home and taken shelter in a forest, I get terrified. I don't know if this article will catch the eye of any such guardian. If you read my request to them, do not force the unfulfilled dreams of your life on your children. Let them see their own dreams. Believe in them. Don't force them from one competition to another. Don’t force them to achieve everything. Let them do the work they enjoy doing.
We have only one life, the most beautiful part of that life is childhood. Don't poison their childhood. Let them grow up with a happy childhood. They don't have to achieve everything, they don't have to get rewarded for everything, they have to enjoy life. Let them enjoy life.
I don't know what to say to parents who are pushing their children to do wrong. How can they look their child in the eye and say, ‘You commit this heinous crime.’ Would any such parent explain the matter to me?
Parents will love their children, why would they become a curse in their lives?
really awesome tropic