Communication is a skill that you can learn. It's like riding a bicycle or typing. If you're willing to work at it, you could rapidly improve the quality of every part of your life.
The ability to communicate effectively is an essential skill to advancing your career no matter what industry you work in. While you may think that you're already a great communicator, most people who are bad communicators don't even recognize it and may be sabotaging their career and relationships without even knowing it. There are many poor communication habits that you may be doing on a daily basis including bad body language and poor listening skills that hinder your ability to communicate with those around you.
Here are a few habits to recognize that may indicate that you are a bad communicator.
Interrupting those around you
Interrupting people while they are speaking is an obvious sign of a bad listener. While everyone interrupts from time to time, it can still be very disrespectful and sends a message to the person speaking that you care more about what you have to say than what you're hearing. If the people around you don't believe you care what they say, why would they say anything at all?
Being interrupted can cause someone to lose their train of thought and therefore you may never get that last bit of information you didn't even know that you needed. If you are really listening, you shouldn't be thinking about what you have to say. It is impossible to fully absorb something when your mind is thinking about something else.
You aren't a good listener
This one is pretty straightforward and you should know how capable you are of listening to others. Does your mind wander off when people are speaking? Do you hear the first part of a sentence and immediately begin forming a response or opinion in your mind? You may not realize this, but truly listening to others requires a level of effort. The best listeners are active listeners. Active listening is a way to listen that requires you to be very concentrated so you can fully understand and remember what you are listening to and in turn respond in an educated manner. Although there are many different techniques or methods to active listening, there are usually five main steps that an active listener will go through when listening:
1. Receiving what was said
2. Understanding what was
3. Remembering what was said
4. Evaluating what was said
5. Responding to what was said
You don't ask the right questions
This habit is usually a response of not listening actively. When you aren't employing the active listening technique and you don't understand, remember and evaluate before you respond, you most likely aren't asking the right questions. Active listening allows you to look at what the speaker says as a whole when you evaluate it. And from there, you can then ask inquisitive and quality questions. These kind of questions will give you an even better understanding of what the speaker is saying and allow you to gain more knowledge. By not actively listening, you end up questioning the speaker as they talk interrupting them and possibly cutting them off right before they were about to answer your question. Most of the time if you actively listen, the answer to your question will reveal itself. If it does not, then you know that you have a quality question to ask that will increase your understanding of the topic.
You feel instead of think
This habit is one that may be harder to control depending on the topic at hand. When discussing controversial topics or topics close to your heart that make you emotional, you should be careful not to feel instead of think. Adding too much emotion when you're communicating can cause your message to get lost in translation. This is because when you show too much emotion, it makes it harder for people to listen to your actual message as they become distracted by how emotional you are. If you are listening to someone who is emotional, make sure to think about why they are emotional and understand where they are coming from. Doing this gives you a greater understanding of their motivation to speak and why they think the way they do.
You refuse to admit that you're wrong
This part of listening can be difficult for many especially if the topic is something that you're passionate about and you already struggle with feeling instead of thinking. Part of being a good communicator is hearing the opinions of others and using this knowledge as an opportunity for growth and personal development. By actively listening, you can recognize why people think the way they do and where they may be coming from. This can help you identify your own biases and see where you may be wrong or where you may have different opinions and why. Always make sure that you are considerate to the opinions and feelings of others when communicating and don't be opposed to being wrong or having your opinions changed.
