Low points & my heart pain.

My lowest points is really disappointing because this is my own fault, i cant so much very much active to day and the past few days, and i dont have many articles posted because i cant really have a time to make a on the spot article i only posted sometimes 1 or 2 articles because... Im busy taking care of my 3 children and its literally im just alone taking care of them. But one dollar is enough for me already here in Read cash. my live in partner is going to his work 3 times a week. But when he doesn't have a work he really help me with the kids.. And house work.

But its really hard to take care of 3 children aged 3 years old and 2 yrs & 9 months, and the youngest child is 7 months old. Especially when you are alone and they're very so naughty and always fighting.. Because of their toys.. And very jealous and envy with each other. The 7 months baby is fond of crying all the time because always disturbed by her siblings when they fight

But all in all even its so hard to raise children with no one is helping me its very fulfilling inside of me by taking my duty as their mother. But all that really hurts me! And contributed my depression to be worsen is because of my live in partner that very much so annoying to me all the time because of his very bad attitude to me. 😭 He is always shouting at me saying... You have to have a money.. In order to help me because you dont have a single worth here!!!! Even a mother of my children you are so much worthless.!!! You are not enough all the things that you do here is nonsense!! I very much appreciate if you can earn more money to give me here.. To buy some foods every thing that we need.

But you know my friend my mother is always giving us money. Every time I ask her because he is always pushing me to ask money to my mother and brother and anyone who can i ask for.

And the most worst is to make me naked in front of the foreigners to ask money. So that for him i can earn money in that way.. But when im refusing and crying he said that im very much dramatic crying with the simple thing he wants me to do.

And he will say that, they are so far and its only virtual they can't even hold you.! Then i said, its not that! i feel very much down like im the most low kind of women. I said to him that i dont have any more respect to my self especially him! He don't even think about me all the time... 😭😭😭 And i continue crying.. And crying.. Then he said in a shout voice that who are you to act like that? You don't have to act like this and be sorrowful because you are nothing and you are only an ordinary women with nothing!!! That's the line he said to me.. 😭😭😭 I dont have a friend who can talk to about this feelings i have inside my heart and mind.. Im keeping it and its really hurt me inside... Sorry for telling you this kind of problem my friend's hope for your understanding of what i feel... Pls. Don't judge me here...