Lifeless

My mother is again pregnant. She had been for 8 times including this. In the last two, she had a sudden miscarriage. The bed used to got wet with blood. Yet my father didn't meet a doctor. My mother healed herself taking the sweet medicines of homeopathy.

My father made the medicines all b y himself. In our small house there is three wooden almirahs in a room. All are full with my father's unknown medicines. He never allowed us to touch the almirahs.

He is not a doctor by profession. In fact, he is a business man. He had a big clothing store in the town. Homeopathy was the profession of his father and grand father. He doesn't want a gap in the knowledge from his forefather. He treats the patients in a day per week.

We are four sister. Maya, Chaya, Diya and Riya. I am the eldest. We had a little sister after this. But she was autistic. She was born with limp. The doctor had said that she never be able to walk like a normal people do.

My father had limitless tension with his autistic daughter. He could at least marry us with people. But who will need an autistic girl?

After this all, we four sisters were still in much happiness with our little sister. We had no tension with her legs. We made her taking bath, we fed her and played with her as if she were a doll. We sister always had a fight who will now take care of her. We adorn her, drew kajal on her forehead and eye. It seemed that we had Eid everyday in our house.

We sisters named our little fairy too. We gave her Suruvi as her nickname. She was the fragrance of our happiness.

But Suruvi didn't keep us in happiness for so long.

One morning, as per my habit after waking up, I went to my room to see Suruvi. I saw her lying in her cradle. She was not smiling. There was a bad smell everywhere of the bubble vomits. I touched her body. It was not warm, it was like ice water instead. She was not crying, she was not laughing. I spread my hands to take her in my lap. But for every time she didn't forward her hands too.

Her feeder fell on the floor.

I shouted and called my mother. She came and sat as a fool. She lost her speech and forgot to cry. She was at a loss. She even didn't tell us anything about this. We sisters wiped away the vomits form Suruvi's mouth. We took her in our lap one by one for the last time. We took her near our heart and showed the last affection. But she never opened her eyes at least for one time.

Hearing the news the relatives started to come. The house was full of people. Everybody wanted to know what happened to Suruvi. My father replied to everyone, "It was pneumonia."

My mother sat silently bowing down her head. As if nothing had happened. Everything is normal.

But Suruvi's nose wasn't runny, she had to respiratory problem and even she didn't got fever.

My mother is pregnant for five months. My father wants baby again. A baby boy!

We can count the bones of our mother's body from over her loose clothes. She had a lot of hair falls and consequently her forehead has become larger now. Her skin color is being changing from yellow to fade. She always is panting.

Moreover, she and our father always had fights at night. Every morning we saw our mother messaging oil on her waist. When she removes the saree, we can easily see the black beating spot on her white skin.

So, I help mother as much as I can.

I am now 15 years old and now have learnt how to do the chores. I can do arrange rooms, cutting, take care of child and many things without any defect. Only in cooking I have not been as expert as my mother.

Today she is feeling sick again. Again her bed have got wet with blood. May be this time their this child is not going to be born too.

I am boiling the water. She will have a warm touch with this. This maybe will help mother to feel better.

In the every day my father comes back to home form the town for having lunch. He will come today too. I have cooked all the items as my mother is sick. The second and the third sister is in the school. The latest sister is busy in playing at the yard. They will also go to school to complete the primary education only. My father doesn't like to let their daughter study more.

According to him, it doesn't need much knowledge to cook rice and curry. The person who has less knowledge, is the happiest person.

But I have much knowledge and wisdom than my other sisters. My mother has realized it and so she has limitless tension for me.

Since I have more wisdom, I know my father has accepted a proposal for my marriage. The bridegroom's previous wife had passed away. He had only two sons. They were studying at college in the town. That man has a big market near my father's store. He is the owner of a 5th floored house. After the marriage is over, he will sign a paper and give a big store to my father.

My mother has convinced me. She told me that the old husbands are good. They show respect to their wife. They met all the needs of their wife. I will have boundless happiness in future.

I can't disagree to my mother. So, I said 'yes' to the marriage.

I am standing beside the dining table and my father is taking his lunch. My mother does this task on the other time. Today she is sick, so I have to do this. I am here to give him things he will need..

For the first time I had cooked the small fish and lentil with green mango. This is my father's favorite food. But if the food is not tasty enough, he will scold me for sure.

But no he is eating happily. He is not telling anything after taking some of the food. He doesn't talk much with me and my sisters. We have went o fair with him or have tour sitting behind his cycle, we don't have any memories of these. The things named love between father and daughter is absent in this house.

He always says one thing, I want baby boy, I want baby boy, I want baby boy. He doesn't want baby girl again and again.

My father is eating happily. I am also satisfied with this. While eating quickly suddenly he coughed. I rushed to the glass of water and gave it to him.

But he didn't hold it. He was trembling keeping his head on the table. His full body was trembling hardly. He at once fell on the floor from the chair.

I didn't do anything. I was standing like a statue like before. He was trying to say something. But I didn't hear it clear.

My mother rushed to the room hearing noise. She is looking tired with this little work of coming to this room from her room.

She saw my father lying lifelessly on the floor. She was screaming with fear.

She asked me what had happened to my father. She asked again and again.

I replied confidently, "What would happen? It's nothing but pneumonia." I told her to notice the bubble vomiting on his mouth just like Suruvi's. I also told her that this happens when one has pneumonia. Suruvi also had faced the same. I asked her if she could remind.

My mother didn't like my smiley face. This time her tension had increased two times for me.

My dead father's eyes are still open. I can easily see that amaze inside his eyes.

My father's class 5 passed daughter could read the English name and description accurately on the glass bottle of the medicines in the wooden almirahs.