Things to say, things to tell you...

Today I made a decision, write and capture everything I think
when I think about you, yes I know, it sounds like redundant or something, no
I know if there is a better grammatical expression...

The questions: 
Why write? Why do you write to me? Do you think that that will give you an opportunity? Do you think it will be that way easy? Why now?... and many more...

I just decided to write what I feel at every moment, at every thought, in my routines, at the end of the day, let's say that for the most part
I know you will never listen to me or I will make you stop to listen to me; I missed that chance, that opportunity... you hang up the phone because of my
stupid and stop counting; but that's not all, I had that, I lost it...in short, I have nothing left.

I imagine what you think when you see the screen of your cell phone and you see a text message coming from my phone number, 
yes I know, it's a complete and utter nuisance, just like a call... What a nuisance! Could it be that he doesn't realize that I don't want to talk to him!
I'll explain it to you!... I better ignore it, until you get tired!... It's normal and
believe me totally and absolutely understandable, I created all that, all the
indifference, simplicity, without the touch of tenderness and soft voice,
delicacy that existed some time ago, before he uttered those words without meditation, wrapped in fear and immaturity, error
that I still regret and wish I could change but it already happened.

I was never looking for anything, everything happened unexpectedly, there you were...until now I think you found me, but it's from
suppose you weren't looking for anything either, just things they  happen, ... and they continue to happen only if we want them to.
And to think that it all started with jealousy...
jealousy that came from you; I always asked you how it had been what you felt,
because it generated great curiosity in me, I needed to know how?
At what instant? What was going through your mind when you felt
that?...too many questions, many times I tried to answer them,
but it turns out that it was you who could say it, clarify everything.

Is there chance or is it fate? to either of them, I would like to thank you. In the history of science it is stated that they are
frequent serendipities (lucky and unexpected finding that is
occurs when you are looking for something else).