•When exactly does one begin to hunger for acceptance? I wondered
•Is it at the time of our birth?
•Is it when we first experience the agony of rejection?
•Is it when we start to face competition in sports?
•Is it when we succumb to the oft-mentioned "peer pressure"?
•Is it when we fall in love with someone?
•Is it the first day of a new job?
•Is it when we join a family as a new member?
•Is it going to be when we relocate to?
I believe it is all of the above; when people have a strong desire to be accepted, they will go to great lengths to achieve their goal.
Athletes and bodybuilders will use drugs in order to win. Winning equals acceptability.
When we fall in love, our entire being craves acceptance from our partner.
Authors will spend countless hours crafting the perfect words to delight their readers, and they will go to tremendous efforts to have their work published.
Whether by marriage or adoption, becoming a new member of a family creates a need to be fostered as someone who truly belongs.
Starting a new job necessitates acceptance; we must blend in so that we may relax and give our all to our work.
Moving to a new nation, city, or even simply a new neighborhood is difficult for us, and being accepted and fitting in is a crucial part of our adjustment.
Let's not forget about peer pressure; it's a tough one, and children just starting high school are the ones that suffer the most from it since their hormones are fluctuating and their emotions are so sensitive. The worries they've been struggling with for the past year are all in front of them, and they've got a lot of reality to cope with. It's more than half the battle for them to fit in and be accepted by their peers.
As a baby, we have a strong need to be accepted and to see our parents smile when we do something nice for them.
For the first time, the pain of rejection hurts like a dagger. It scars us for life, leaving a scar that we will never be able to remove.
All of these concerns, needs, and aspirations are present in everyone who lives and breathes. Some of us have a stronger desire for acceptance than others. Some of us are unable to function without acceptance; we become consumed with our thoughts, attempting to fit in in any way possible.
Do you see the words "self-esteem" anywhere in what I've written today? Yes, and it can be found in every sentence. Our need for acceptance has an impact on our self-esteem, which in turn has an impact on our emotional stability, which is where envy, concern, and anxiety emerge. If you've ever experienced feelings of inadequacy or low self-esteem, you'll understand how enslaved you are by the concern that follows, and how much of your life is enslaved by that other thought.
Low self-esteem and non-acceptance are like another mind, and you can sense them at conflict with you. It reminds me of the scenario with the good devil and the nasty devil. It is no fun for the one who is enslaved by it; not only do they have to balance the two brains, but they also have the guilt that they feel when they see what the effect of their mental war is doing to those around them. The numerous inquiries that one is confronted with, like in my blog FEELINGS!!!!, add to the already lonely and tortured person's suffering.
So, if you know someone who suffers from non-acceptance or poor self-esteem, hug them and try to realize that they aren't having a picnic and that if simply saying "stop it" or "just don't worry about it" could end it, they would do it in a heartbeat. To get past our lows, we all need support and acceptance. When someone is down, kicking them does not help them get up.
- I'm doing everything I can, through my website and blog, to educate others and help them realize what low self-esteem is and how dangerous it can be.