An idea was an idea regardless of status. I remember getting criticized for the first time in my career for not voicing my opinion in a proto review meeting. I jumped so high for joy at the desire to hear my input. From that day on, I never stopped speaking my mind.
Fast forward to this monumental fork in the road; I shuffled in the anxiety of what I was about to do. I took a deep breath and decided to remain laid off for the fourth time, followed by a five-minute Ted Talk. I thanked him for the opportunity to return and told him I owed it to myself to see this newfound career through. I expressed gratitude for a rewarding experience at Tommy, where I was able to thrive and be my most authentic self. He once again congratulated me and sent me warm wishes. For the first time and the last time in my fashion career, I closed the doors on my terms.
I realized how crucial this moment was for me. It was proof of my transformation of choosing myself every day for the past year. I chose myself by diving into writing. I chose myself when I traveled to Paris alone and fell in love with solitude. I chose myself when I performed at an open mic amongst talented Colombia MFA poets. I chose to follow the joys in life and allowed it to expand my heart.
I shed my people-pleasing traits and cultivated a sense of self no longer bounded by anyone, anything, or any job. This was the foundation of my decision to depart from fashion. It was the life lesson of learning how to choose myself first and every day.
As I transition from fashion designer to writer, my ability to create remains intact. The creator in me has found a new medium through writing to encourage those around me to take up space in the world.
As a society, we are conditioned to put everyone first, so we live our lives based on obligation and the fear of judgment. The result is a culture filled with resentment, unhappiness, and self-doubt. This lifestyle is unsustainable and perpetuates a community of unlived dreams.
To choose ourselves is uncomfortable, scary, and isolating, but a step towards the life we deserve.
This global pandemic has shown us life is too precious and time is too short not to follow the fire igniting our soul. Uncertainty is a place where dreams awaken.
It is a place where possibilities are endless.
It is a place where we evolve.
It is a place where we are meant to be.