@Kelzy
edited
I can't give her happiness
Lead Image https://www.healthcanal.com/sexual-health/253272-how-does-lesbian-sex-work.html ***"I have needs that you can't give"*** Have you heard this line before? When and where? What comes to your mind after hearing it? What did you feel after you realize the meaning? Did you get mad and feel sad? Or you just let it go and didn't think about it. I guess you already know what and where this article going and I hope you will not get annoyed at me later when you finished this reading. Growing up in a broken family is a pain that you will carry till you get old. You will feel pity for experiencing this kind of punishment like what did you do to deserve this kind of heartache.
Image Source https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/choking-partner-during-sex-made-23263805.amp At the age of 5, I experienced the broken heart feeling. Imagine you witness your father choke your mother because she didn't give him money for his vice. You want to help her but you also get beaten. What can you do? You're still small and so weak. You can't do anything but cry and beg. When I was a kid I believe all men is the same because I also saw it from my relatives and our neighbors. It seems normal for them to hurt their wife and children when they are drunk. They don't feel mercy when they are doing it. Because of recurring events, I started to hate men. I told myself that I don't need a father if he only wants us to be his punching bag. Mom is enough for us. He is not a loss for us. When they get separated I thought our life will be at peace and we'll live happily, but my assumption was wrong, I experienced more heartaches because mom left me from my relatives to my grandparents in the province. She bring my brother with her because he was still young at that time. She left and told me she'll be working to provide for our needs and soon she will get me back.
Image Source https://ph.theasianparent.com/disiplina-sa-sarili It was so hard to live there because you need to get along with them even you're still a kid. I didn't feel the treatment of being their grandchild but rather their slave. My grandfather hurt me when he is drunk and his wife (my step-grandmother) tweak my hair when I sleep already and didn't clean their mess. I waited for mom and prayed for her to get me but 4 years already passed she still didn't come back. I studied very hard hoping that she will come back if she know that I am always top 1 in school. For praying so many years I guess, Lord already heard me. I get surprised by the news of our neighbor, she told me there was like a feast in our house, my mom and brother arrived.
Image Source https://ferny.com/life-style/tips-for-first-time-pregnancies/ Do you imagine my excitement? Hehe. Finally, I can escape to this place! No more tears at night! Mom is here, I will not get hurt anymore! Freedom awaits in the house so I ran fast. But my world stop when I arrived and saw Mom. She has a big tummy. She is with a man. She is happy. She left me to have a new family and now come home to flex it to me. I stunned. Tears flow. What does she want to expect? That I should be happy because she already come back. I wish that time she never did because I get knowledge from my Auntie that she don't have plans to get me but just born her child then will leave after. And it happened but her life with her new family didn't go the way she dreamed. It was failed relationship again. That man cheats on her. They get separated and I guess it's 7 years already passed. Before she went abroad last 2019 we fix our relationship. She give me everything I need and got me an apartment. After a year she said she will come home for vacation. She said she want to be fetched at the airport. I prepared a welcome surprise for her in the house. I cooked her favorite food. I fetch first my half-sister and head and wait for her 8 hours in the airport. I thought I will surprise her but it went vice-versa, I get surprised. When we went outside and look for a taxi she stopped me. Her: Zy wait! Me: Why? (Then I saw a man coming near to us) I was stunned for a second because I know what is going on again. I turned around and walk very fast. Mom ran to me. Her: Zy wait! She is not a man. Me: So?! I'm so angry. She never learned. I fight with her. I shout to them even it was Christmas Eve. I told her lover to leave but she have thick face. She doesn't want to stand up. P.S I don't hate tomboy's, I respect them but the situation at that time trigger me because they didn't respect me. They didn't think about our feelings, or just disregard me because I experienced a lot of heartaches and I'm used to it. But for God's sake! I wish they think about my half-sister. She is still young to be exposed to it. Their relationship didn't last because of me. But mom has another tomboy lover again. I give up and I let her be. I guess I can't give her the happiness that she wants. I understand what it is. She's already an adult and hope she knows what's she's entering. I just don't want her to get hurt again. Yeah, I become rude to my mom but it's for her own good. Raising a parent is a very hard dude! They are quite hard-headed! Who agrees with me? Anyways, please don't hate me. Thanks for reading! :)
Hi! Let's connect to my other socials (✿^‿^) Noise Cash | Twitter | Telegram https://noise.cash/u/Kelzy https://twitter.com/@itsmekelzi
27 comments
I felt emotional reading this sis. I felt the pain you had when your mom leaves you and it's been a long years passed before you see each other again. I want to tell you that God has a purpose why it happened sis. Always trust and everything will be alright. I know your mom loves you a lot despite what she did.
Ramdam ko naman na bumawi siya te kaso di ko lang talaga makalimutan yung mga nangyare dati lalo ngayon meron na naman siyang bago ba.
I felt the longing you wanted to have but I know your mom loves you. She still thinks about you that is why she keeps on coming back yet unpleasant news.
Nakakaiyak naman to daez.. So san pla brother mo? Parang story ni Seqioa ba yun.. Yung tipong lage nagjojowa yung nanay.. Hayst. Buti nlng d ganyan mama ko..sakit sa bangs.. But you know what?/ much better na Tbom kesa lalaki.. Kc yan, hndi mabubuntis nanay mo at hndi masyado masakit ang breakup 😅. I have a friend na solo parent,nakpag jowa sa TBom..who is one of my.closest friends narin now..nung una ayaw ko sa knya.. Pro narealize ko much better na yun kesa sa lalaki..but until now, sila parn.. Mag 7 years na rin sla
Nasa province si brother te sa kapatid ni lolo, bale lola namin. Ayun naman mabait na kamag-anak namin. Hmm. Yun na nga lang din iniisip ko te e tbom naman di makakajuntis tsaka nasa malayo din nasa Dubai. Tsk! Pero sigurado majijines ako pag makita ko silang dalawa magkasama.
Anubayan masyado mo naman ako pinapaiyak ngayon ses. Grabe yung pinagdaanan mo na akala ko ako na ung may pinaka mabigat na problema sa mundo. Meron pa pala.... Pero good terms naman kayo ni mother mo now no? Siguro nas okay hayaan mo na lang din sya sa gusto niya. Okay na yan, basta di na nya dadagdagan ung kapatid mo tapos iiwan lang siya sa ere.
Ganon talaga. May mas malalala pa mga complain natin sa buhay sa ibang tao. Isipin nalang natin swerte pa din tayo. Oks na kami ni madir wag lang siya magdadagdag ng bata ay nako 🤯
Ayun nga, nawalan tuloy ako ng gana mag mukmok kasi ay mas malupit pa paka ng pinag dadaanan ko.. Pero pray ka lang din at makakaya mo yan. wish mo na lang eh yumaman na tayo para wala na gaanong problem financially..
It's really hard to stay in a house with a man like that .. Thanks that my father is not like that. when he's drunk, he sleep. It's sad what your mother did but I know deep inside of her, she loves you. . I hope everything will het better na on your side..
Bumawi naman siya bebe naramdaman ko naman yun di ko lang maiwasang mag alala kasi baka masaktan na naman ba siya. Swerte mo sa tatay be. Oks na sakin kahit palainom basta wag lang sana manakit.
Yeah, I totally agree! Having a drunkard father at home who is always bullying our mother is a pain to see. Though he doesn't hurt our Mom physically, the emotional damage is much worse. I confront them but all I get was being labeled as a "Rebel" or a "Black Sheep". LOL. Now that I'm the one who supports them, they are doing whatever I say. Money can indeed do miracles. 😄
Iba talaga nagagawa ng pera 😂 Susunod lahat hahaha sana yumaman na ako 😂
Trade ka madami tokens para mabilis dumami pera mo sa SmartBCH. 😄
Ayun lang di pa kasi ako marunong di ko pa gaanong gets 😂
Di rin ako marunong eh. Hahaha.
I cannot say that I can relate, but I definitely understand your plights. You must have gone through a lot while growing up. Also, I wouldn't never blame your mom, she also needs someone to love and be loved, someone to discuss with, share minds together and some intimacy. Do not get me wrong, she can as well get most of that from you, but it will be different with a partner.
Yeah. Now that I grown up I already understand it's just that I'm worried she get hurt again.
Big hug to you dear. At least you shouted for your betterment of your mom. But sometimes things don't switch as we expect. Sad for you.
Life must go on 🙂
So you grew up in an abusive environment pala. I didn't know that behind those pretty chinita eyes and sweet smile hides a painful past. I hope for the best in your family, Zy. ❤
Kilig ako haha thanks te 😘 Keri lang wala naman tayong choice e.
Yieeee 😊 that's right. Piliin nlng natin maging strong oy.
May ganyan talaga ano? I don't wanna be cancelled here (charot) pero meron talagang ganon, ano? Yung tuluy tuloy pa din, despite many failed relationships, pasok pa din ng pasok sa bago, kahit di masyadong pinag iisipan. Haynaku. Di natututo. Charet.
Ewan ba. Iniisip ko nalang baka kasi di nadala pagkadalaga kasi maaga najuntis at ako ang bunga 😹
Ay haha, yun lang. 😂
I'm so sorry for the experience you had, I also grew up in a community where women are victims of all these incidents
I'm sorry for that Kelzy. I thought it is some kind of fiction story but you know, there are no perfect parents. Some of them aren't matured yet in making decisions but know that they still love you and we should still honor them because they are our parents.