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Written by   14
4 months ago

As a child, I used to ask my mother, what is pride? What's the complication? Then my boy's mind understood the meaning of all this? Did not understand At that time, I used to weave a whimsical alpana with only two eyes mixed with dream abir. But I never thought that I would gain so much experience with these intricate equations in my teens. Wrong to say field, abandoned piece of space. Where most of the city has turned into a jungle of concrete, this abandoned place is our playground. Our own place. When it is difficult to get out of the house in the intense heat of summer, how the mind gets up in the afternoon air. Then you can no longer be under house arrest. We sail in the open air and float in sports. I am Roopam and my playmate is Mihi. We live in one neighborhood. Mihi is the daughter of our neighbors Tamal Kaku and Mina Kakima.

I study in the same school and Mihi. Although Mihi is four years younger than me, I have never felt bad about hanging out with her and hanging out with her. We used to enjoy each other's company. We were hustle and bustle on the playground that day. But while playing, he suddenly collided with me and got injured. I didn't even understand when it happened. She started crying very loudly. There was blood gurgling from the place of injury. I noticed that Mihi's hand was stuck on a piece of glass because she was lying on her back. I didn't even realize then that there might be pieces of glass in the small grass on the playground.

I stared at him in bewilderment. I don't know what to do at the moment. Mihi is constantly crying. I myself am looking at Mihir with tears in my eyes. Hearing Mihir's cries, the rest of the children who were playing on the field also came running. One of them reached out and pulled Mihi. Mihir's eyes watered. He looked at me for a moment and started crying again. I was ignorant then. Mihir got such a big injury while playing! Then I am getting smaller to myself. One of them extended his hand and led Mihi to his house. Which of my eyes is getting wet then. It's hard to imagine that Mihir was hurt because of me. I also went to his house with Mihir. Seeing Mina Kaki, Mihi started crying more. As soon as Mina Kaki asked, she cried and pointed her finger at me and said, "Roopam Dada pushed me away, Mommy." I don't know what was in Mina Kaki's eyes. But from that day onwards, I started to feel guilty. I returned home that afternoon and disappeared. I refuse to cry as a boy. But I didn't want to hurt Mihi on purpose. Suddenly playing ...

The food was not swallowed that night. Mina Kaki did not complain to my parents in my name but an invisible distance was created between us and their family. My father also told me two things that day. My mother was shedding tears thinking that Mihir was hurt because of me.

Then many days have passed. In the afternoon I would sit alone in the field. Mihi would not come. And rarely did he come and play with me. Even if I went ahead and talked, Mihi would turn away. I felt bad, very bad. Mihi would take her eyes off when she came face to face at tiffin time at school. Mihi didn't understand the love obsession with Mihi in my little heart. He was hurt externally and I was hurt internally by his use. Mihir, the pain of my mind, the traumas of my mind could not be seen. Mihi forgot how hard we had a good time together. How many games we played, how many pictures we drew, how many songs we sang together in unison, how many stories we told.

Mina Kaki has not talked to anyone in our house since that incident. In such a moment, such a sweet relationship got stuck in the trap of complexity. Creation is mountain proof distance. I remember that despair has been sitting at home for so long. I have been suffering from guilt ever since. As time goes by, I leave school and go to college. Mihi is now a 12th class student and I am a college student. On that day, I suddenly saw Mihi walking in the street with Anukush in our neighborhood. The left side of the chest twisted suddenly. But I could not understand why it looks like that. What was my latent love for Mihir? Why can't I sleep with a boy other than me ....

But Mihi has to leave me, my relationship with Mihi is not the same as before. Mihir has no complaints about me but he can't trust me anymore. Ahare mind, this mind that does not understand the complex equations of the relationship! Mihi moved away from me with pride, the one who was hurt because of me. In fact, this may be the result of some relationships, the veins of the heart are scattered in the equation of complexity ....

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Avatar for Kainat
Written by   14
4 months ago
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