Thanks but no thanks to all approval.
The need for approval has ruined us, first of all approval has been engrained in our being. We live and believe ourselves to thrive on approval. Can I do this? Can I do that? It's all an urge for approval.
But of course it's a beautiful thing to be approved, such as in the case of a lady being approved by her husband or man but the crazy levels approval has taken humanity is maddening. Even to the depth of spirituality we as spiritual beings still yearn for approval, this utterly confuse me. Anyway everyone to their devices, it's a numbers game and if approval gets you better sleep at night then by all means do go ahead and get all the approval to get you sleeping better.
On my level, I detest approval, more especially spiritual approval, I just cannot progress well enough spirituality without coming across another being looking to approve me or complement me. I think I do not get it that I do not need anyone complementing me in a way that if it will be then I won't feel apprehended about it. Imagine how maddening it is if it's overwhelming enough to lead to suicidal tendencies. That how much I detest approval and these spiritual don't seem to get it. At times I love the holes I dig myself, hoping and wishing I dig one deep enough to hold me down and never wake again. But how is this possible when the human spirit is such a force to be reckoned with. The flesh is extremely weak without communion with the spirit, everything by the fraction, a reason for malicious spirits to you with. But the plan is much greater than anything that the physicality may attempt to block with. For this reason we often times here encouragement coming through urging whoever is going through hell to keep going because it only gets better. It will be alright, it will be fine in the end, if it's still not fine it's not the end.
I have learned to yield certain powers from within me, by direction of spirit of course and it is my newly adopted will that I explore these powers in depth and become a mage of sorts. I just wonder how I'll fit in, a trading, writing, hermit whose an actual mage. However the order goes, I'm writing this hoping at least one mage picks it up to offer some advice on how to get going especially in times of a pandemic like this. Plus I really feel limitless, can't seem to want to pick one specific niche although writing most certainly takes the front seat. Basic.
I got so tired of feeling these spiritual sensations, I know the solutions but there's always a catch to it that's coupled with a vibe I don't get with. Because of this I tend to exclude myself preceding to go away from people. I have no family, no friends, not that I do not have a people who supposedly share blood with me or whatever. It's the truest of truths of my observations on this world, it is the stranger who seem to understand me, my own seem to tool me, use me, as they got used and submitted. That submission is the difference and the reason for wanting to include a whole dose of spirituality in my life and not hide it at all.
I see myself going through the airport checks throwing my crystals spell book, hex books out for inspection and being asked weird questions that I answer with confidence cos I do not intend on faking anything although I do not intend on overexposure I'm sure the mundane will take it as cosplay. I believe the bad guy I actually am will end up winning because this weak fibble, easily influenced meatsuit brain dolls is just all too unnecessary. At time I feel like reaping it apart to unleash the beast, I won't say I didn't try. At times I was out there looking for death 😂 💀😂 and death hiding from me. Guess it's the universe's way of telling me that they still want more juice. What use is juice when you are dead anyway? Get married- who'd I like to taint with my filth? No one? That's pretty on point.
Mages, or a monk. Me, myself and I shall see after this pandemic where our mind is at. I do have interests and I carry them out but at times it feels like this world doesn't deserve me and I ought to take the fastest way out, tried one too many times to my disappointment. And no, this a$$ isn't ready for any type of deposits yet. Rather die.
Oh by the way, maybe there would be an astrologer stumbling on this, is it odd to be fully straight minded with only one retrograde planet at birth? I've seen tons of birth charts and I haven't seen like mine.
P.S this is all an expression I'm not suicidal anymore but if I had sufficient means I would not be writing this.
===X===
🕉️♾️☯️
Supreme love and light
Current constellation positions
Full 🌒 Gemini ♊
Mercury X Venus in Scorpio
Neptune in Pisces
Jupiter, Pluto & Saturn in Capricorn
Mars in Aries ♈
Uranus in Taurus
Bless up!
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