Sleep Paralysis

I was often prone to sickness as a child. Injuries and illness. I still injured myself playing outside or I fell ill and had to be rushed to the hospital and my body was very frail. I used to sob because I was in pain continuously.

My parents walked up to me to ask me why I was crying. I will say 'I'm crying because it hurts,' to them. "What's crying going to do? It won't take the pain away. There's no reason to cry. You need to be strong, what you do will not stopped you from it? It's not going to take away the pain. There's no reason to weep. You have to be strong.

Some people might claim that parents just shouldn't tell a child about this. Some individuals might argue that the words of my parents might have a negative influence on me as I grew up. And I understand, I've even disagreed with them once about the terms they chose to console me with. But this hasn't been the case.

You see, I was raised by my parents to be rational. They told me not to spend money or time on stuff that would not help me. They've taught me to be smart. And to better treat life or how they felt it ought to be done. And I am proud of the person that I am today, It's because of them.

I always attempted to be rational as a boy. I'm trying to make sense of everything that is around me. It had its benefits and, of course, its downsides. I learned a lot in school because it would support me in my future instead of playing with the other kids on the playground outside.

I was a really sceptical kid as well. When our teacher told us about Santa Claus, I doubted everything people said and so on.

I need this argument to be emphasized. I've been logical. I've always wanted to make the world sense. For what it really was, I really wanted to see the universe. But there were only a few things I couldn't do about it.

As a boy, no, I get frightened quite easily to this day. I'm not afraid of real things like killers or spiders, I'm afraid of the unknown. Of things which are not fair. Stuff that does not exist. Ghosts, ghosts, creatures of myth, you name it.

I have always been afraid of things for some reason that I should not be afraid of. I just couldn't do it with my anxiety, despite the way my parents raised me, despite always trying to make sense of things and arriving at rational explanations.

I knew they weren't true. I figured I couldn't be hurt by them. I knew I wasn't supposed to be afraid of the dark, but I was, always was, always was. Then the following events began to happen to me. I think you can possibly guess how terrified I was.

Or should I say, just how terrified I am. I introduced myself to a girl when I was 14 years old. "Let's call "Jenny" to her. Practically all we bonded over and became very close friends.

Jenny went to school one day and she looked upset, agitated, stressed, and I asked her what was wrong, but she declined to tell me.

This was strange to me, since we normally said something to each other. I kept pestering her about it until she eventually broke down and started to open up about her issues.

It was not, in the least, what I expected. Jenny is, to this day, a friend of mine. And to defend herself and her beliefs, the things she spoke to me about that day, I'm not going to tell you guys.

I would say, however, that it revolved around the supernatural. It revolved around events that were supernatural. And dark stuff that I've never heard about. I've always been a rational guy, like I said earlier.

So even when I was listening to Lisa talk about this material. I've been trying to make sense of it all. Whenever I tried to make her stories sense. Jenny would tremble and say everything was true. For her it was too true.

In her eyes, I could see apprehension and it scared me. The subject of lucid dreaming appeared as we started to go down the rabbit hole of the supernatural, discussing all dark and enigmatic things.

Ok, now you already know where the story is going.

Lucid dreaming

is basically where you can control your dreams. You know you're sleeping and, despite this, you stay asleep and start to dream about whatever you'd like. When I heard about this... I lit up. That sounds freaking amazing!

I could fly, I could play with magic, I could make Pokemon real, I swore that when I got home, I would research how to do it and I would try it out that night. But when I told Jenny this, Jenny told me she couldn't tell me why.

But she asked me not to attempt lucid dreaming. No matter what. That night,  I went home and learned how to lucid dream. Dark room, little sound, lay on your back, try to keep your mind awake. I followed all the steps and tried to lucid dream.

I was like a bug,  willingly flying into a spider's nest without even knowing it. I didn't think it would work. I'm not sure what I was expecting, honestly. But something did happen. 

My brother was in the room next to mine and he was playing a video game with some friends. As I laid there trying to lucid dream I could hear him speaking to his friends about the game. As I laid there hoping I could control my dream.

I started to hear a noise. The noise, it's hard to describe what it sounds like, but... I guess I would describe it as a drum. A bass-like sound flowing throughout my body.

I began to feel limp and I couldn't move. All of a sudden I started to see images. Pictures flashing through my mind. There was a castle and a princess, I saw my sister in a garden among other countless images.

They just kept racing through my mind. Images I can't seem to recall now. The images sped up and the noise grew louder and louder. Until suddenly, I woke up from my dream and I ran to my brother.

He was still playing the game talking to his friends. I was confused. Because the whole time I was dreaming having that experience, I could hear him. The entire time I heard him in the room next door.

Was I dreaming? No that can't be right, I heard him talking! Was I awake, then? No, no way! The images and sounds were so vivid and I couldn't move!

Then...

I refrained from telling Jenny what happened. I didn't want to to worry her since I'm the one who didn't listen to her advice.

And  nothing bad happened. So there was no need. I didn't exactly lucid dream and nothing bad had really happened so, why bring it up? I would just try it again tomorrow.

The next night

I didn't get a chance to try lucid dreaming. A few weeks ago my parents had bought me a digital tablet. So I usually spent school nights drawing until the late hours of the night.

Those few weeks I hardly received any sleep. I was always drawing and practicing in my spare time And I also had school and I worked every weekday after school until 11pm helping my father out in the shop.

I was always tired, but I loved my tablet so I always stayed up drawing. I don't know what happened that night. I still can't wrap my head around it. I was hallucinating. It was just my computer messing up! It wasn't anything significant, but Well, I started to see and hear things.

I knew they weren't real. But  it was 3 am I was in a dark room alone  and I was only 14. It doesn't matter if it meant nothing. I was scared. Really scared. I switched my computer off, ran to my bed and I tried to sleep.

This was the first night I experienced sleep paralysis. For those of you who don't know what sleep paralysis is: You might be better off asking someone else because I don't know much about it.

I refused to research any more into it but. what I can tell you is how it feels. It feels like you're stuck between the unconscious and conscious world.

You feel like, you're neither asleep nor awake. You can't move no matter how hard you try. You can't open your mouth and let the screams out. But  this was different.

I've spoken to a lot of people who have dealt with sleep paralysis. And only a few people have said they experienced what happened after. The thumping noise from the previous night started to happen  and something else something demonic.

The noise overflowed my entire body especially my head. I felt so much pressure on my head as if something was trying to get in. That's the only way I can explain how it felt.

And then, I started to see something, something evil, It didn't have a form, but it resembled a face. A black face.

It grew bigger and bigger and bigger, the noise grew louder and louder and louder. I tried to wake up, I tried to scream, but I couldn't it just kept growing louder and louder, larger and larger and larger until it completely enveloped my entire being and then I woke up and I screamed for help.

To be continued