In these days, I fall on these abyss of uncertainties that happen in my life. There are many events that urge me to overthink, to be anxious and worry about. Covid-19 pandemic, being jobless, health and safety of my loved ones and my gruesome past are dominating my mind. I can't help myself to think about them and worry for my future. As a result, I can't concentrate on my chores because I keep on ruminating and overthinking.
Anxiety and depression crawl over me. I can't sleep well at night, and sometimes I can't cry because I'm already numb of those things. I am not fit in my past jobs because I can't concentrate because I have panic attacks when a transaction goes busy. I was always thinking of perfection -doing my best but in the end, I still fail. I was also self-absorbed and negativity took over around me. So I decided to take a break and reflect more on where will I fit in.
As this pandemic grows, I also feel ashamed because I suppose to work and not to be dependent on my parents. On the side of other people, I was too dumb to leave my job. But in my heart, I leave because its not healthy anymore. Maybe I'm wrong but for me I won't compromise any longer. They say that I am "pokerface" or emotionless. But they don't know my other side. I was bullied and emotionally abused before and I cried everynight until I feel numb-pretending it's okay. I used to have suicidal thoughts, I felt insecurities and other negativities that a human could face.
Despite of these things, I reflect on them when life gets tough.
1. When life gets tough, you are not alone.
You are not alone in your problem. Everyone has a problem. No one is born without a problem. Rich or poor,young or old, everyone has a trial to face. God is always there for you when no one else was. Pray and reach out to Him.
2. When life gets tough, be strong.
Thinking about negative thoughts? Divert your mind to positive things. Spend time with families and friends. Smile and laugh. Do some hobbies that will make you happy and forget negative thoughts. Break the chain of negativity and spread the positivity. Be strong, don't let the negativity win.
3.When life gets tough, be kind.
Are there times when you got hurt, you want to hurt someone too? Or when you have problems you tend to be cruel and shout at others? Be kind no matter the situation is. Spread love and not hate.
4. When life gets tough, always remember that there is hope.
Do you feel hopeless? Think of the positive side when you have problems. If a door closes, another one opens. There is a hope for everything. Don't dwell on your problems. Bring the positivity with hope that everything will be alright.
5. When life gets tough, always know that everything happens for a reason.
Do you blame and complaining about what's happening in your life? Everything happens for a reason. It is not an accident. If you feel sad today, it will not last long. God does not create a problem that we cannot solve. Problems will mold you for a better version of you and help you to hope for more blessings. Always remember Romans 8:18 “The pain you have been feeling can't compare to the joy that is coming.”
I am still struggling but I am trying to live those reminders. I hope that it will help me to have an optimistic life. As I walk into this journey, I realize those thoughts when life gets tough.
I hope you learned something. do you have some thoughts you can share when life gets tough? Comment down below.
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