Looking back at Childhood
To get over fear, acknowledge where It comes from
Now everyone knows that the way a person turns out to be has to do with his/her early experiences, those formative years in which the core personality had formed and followed the individual till the present day, for better or worst. Between all the factors that compound our being, one of them that most define us is fear, what we are afraid of and we feel strong resistance against facing. You might think that all the symptoms associated with It have to do with the circumstances that have occurred recently, though most of the times this is far from the truth. Along with our childhood memories we can find those unpleasant moments in which we felt underappreciated, demeaned, humiliated and even scared for our lives, statements that will just gather a space in our heads and will find a place to hide and make themselves present in future situations. That's why in this article I will talk about the importance of checking out your past to search for the real reasons of your phobias and ailments, all so you can get over them and become a more integrated version of yourself. Let's begin:
Why It is not so obvious?
Well, most of the things that we experience in our early years (From 0 to 2 and even 7 years) are pretty much blurry to us due to the time that has passed and the development of our brain through time. However, the past, no matter how gritty It is, tends to become brighter as we look back to It from afar. Our mind usually selects only those memories that were either remarkably positive or extremely negative to keep, revisit and shape our perception of the world, and that's why some problems that we might be facing in the present due to their manifestations through our psyche is not so easily noticeable, as we'll have to look deeper into our childhood and get past all the "Good Old Memories" to get to a real cause for It.
Well, now that we know about how hard It might be for some to look back and remember all those things from the past that are potential candidates for the roots of our present fears, I can present you with a couple of strategies you can apply to make your journey through memory lane an easier experience. Let's begin:
Analyze how much It hurt you
Maybe It was a group of kids in your school that insulted you or physically hurt you, a love interest rejecting you or something embarassing that you went through, all those things can define the things you feel aversion to in the present day, as they remind you of the days you were defenseless and deeply scarred by the things that happen you. By recognizing the emotional toll that a particular memory has had in you, you'll be more sure that It will be directly correlated to your strongest fears, in this way making you identify areas which you can work to overcome.
Look at the way you were raised
The first place you have to look at for anything that might be bugging you in the present moment and has a deeper cause for It is your parents, and don't get me wrong, I love my dad and my mom with all my heart, though they aren't perfect human beings, as neither one of us Is. Parental figures that are responsible for raising infants in the early stages of their development carry their own baggage, as they were once kids which had expeerimented their own deal of "lessons" in life, all which will reflect in the way they approach their interactions with the ones they're responsible for. For example, someone who, as a child has experienced a great deal of loss (Being either the death of someone beloved at an early age) an uncertainty about their life will probably become a nervous and overprotective father/mother, being too present in the life of his/her children, making them overtly dependent of their contributions and grow resentful of this fact.
I hope that this article could have been of use to you, giving you a guide as to not only why the things that happened to us in the past had affected us so much that they chase us in the present day, though how to separate them from normal memories and identify them as those things that shape a person way of seeing the world, giving you a way to recognize your demons and leave the door open for future improvement. Thank you for your support and good luck!