Are you telling yourself the wrong Story?
A self implanted curse
Do you feel like you're a loser? Far from your ideal self? Inferior to others? Well, for many people these have been the main narratives they tell themselves to justify their actions, their inaction and all the negative things they indulge in, entering into a wicked feedback loop that just strengthens these bad habits with bad opinions about themselves. You might think that what you think has to do nothing with regards to how your life is actually. However, you'll be surprised to find that you're wrong. That's why in this article I'll talk about how changing the story you tell yourself inside your own mind can be a powerful tool to help you change your life, all while doing things that confirm this new identity. Let's begin:
Your world is shaped by your mind
Our brains operate mostly in a subconscious manner, with 90% of the processes happening in It being performed without our direct recognition, either through picking up smells and memorizing them, creating experiences or even picking up on our identities and reaffirming them to us, all so It simplifies our view of the world. It would consume so much more mental resources to not have a definite perception of matters that contain large portions of information and just leave everything open to interpretation than to just put a label to It and call It a day. That's why there exists what's called the cognitive bias, which is our tendency to filter everything we learn according to our preferences and personal experience.
One example of this could be what we know as The Confirmation Bias, which is our tendency to look out for information in sources that serve our original belief (An exaggeration: "Does Gatorade give cancer?" searched in sportdrinkspoison.com). The same exact thing happens within our brains in a subconscious level when we fail to analyze what went wrong with our performance at a certain event, not taking into account our inexperience, external factors or the competition, though just calling ourselves "Dumb", which If repeated for long enough, will start to become our identity.
Then how can I change my story?
You might also think that If you are constantly telling to your brain negative things, you'll come to be a negative person for the rest of your life, and that's also wrong. A great discovery in neuroscience has proved a concept known as Neuroplasticity, which is the ability of neural networks (An array of neurons connected between themselves to perform a specific action) to change both through an increase in their quantity and the way they are organized. This means that our brains have the capacity to change entirely even at an old age.
The way neuroplasticity can be incentivised is through activity-dependent plasticity, which is generated through the acquirement of new experiences, learning or even new behaviors and way of thinking. This said, the first thing we'll have to change is what we tend to tell ourselves, deleting those beliefs that don't serve us an implementing positive mantras such as "I'm a responsible person", "I'm a strong individual" or "I'm a caring husband/wife". However, this alone won't prove sufficient, as we need confirmation of these beliefs, and that's where new actions come handy. To be a responsible person, you should act like one, so doing subtle changes to your previous habits, such as "Arriving 10 minutes early" or "Journaling the actions of tomorrow" can be really effective for making our brain assimilate these beliefs faster.
I hope this article could have been of use to you, providing you with why the things you are telling yourself might not serve you and can even make your life worse, all while providing you with the alternative: To change what's in your mind and your actions to create the best version of yourself, all so you can enjoy life both inside and outside yourself. Thank you for your support and good luck!