Everyone perceives love differently, we have our understanding, belief, and ways of showing and receiving love. Love is powerful, powerful enough to make us human beings go crazy; to do everything in the name of love, to fight for it. Love is a broad topic, it's complicated. So instead, I'll just tell something related to love.
Love is not just about being together, holding hands while walking on the street, eating together in your favorite restaurants, wearing the same shirts, couple outfits, couple shoes. There are many forms of love, and they are all valid. We all are deserving to feel this so-called love. Letting someone go, is also a form of love. This story is about one-sided love.
The story goes this way.
It all started on bumping into a stranger, this first meeting was kinda funny, for I accidentally bump into this person and she stumbled on the floor, and I was in a rush that time, so I only helped her get up and said sorry then left. I didn't expect that there's going to be a second meeting, and third and fourth, and a lot more meetings. Funny right? She ended up someone who I will be seeing every day at work, she's a coworker.
Days pass by, and I got used to seeing her every day. At first, I'm a Lil shy of what happened in the past, but eventually get to know her, how funny she was, and I didn't realize that I've started liking her. I like how she wipes her nose with her index finger, how she eats in the cafeteria, how she sits, how she walks. And I decided to approach her more, I get along with her easily, because to tell you, I'm a funny person, easy to get along with. We became close. We became friends.
We've been happy together for a long time, and I'm planning a confession, to tell her how much I like her, how I really feel towards her. Before doing so, another character came, a childhood friend of hers; her childhood crush. I didn't know about him for we don't really know each other personal stuff.
We were just fine when we are together, how we laugh at each other talking about funny things while eating lunch. How we tease each other at work. Nothing changed. But I noticed that it's not the same when her childhood friend was around, all her attention was his. I felt ignored, felt like an outsider, an extra on a movie, not the lead actor.
I can't deal with it so I decided to confess to her, with all my courage and bravery, I told her how I feel. But she answered, "You know what, I like you, you're funny and gentle, you're good looking. But I have someone in my heart for a long time. But don't get me wrong, I like you but as a friend. We're still friends, right".
That hits my heart so deep, it felt like I was shot by a gun and the bullet is squeezing inside my flesh, that I feel like my knees run out of strength, my lips were trembling I barely open my mouth, but I force my self to hold a grip. "Right" she once again asks then I replied with a forced smile and happy intonation " yes of course". Then she smiled at me.
I tried to stand strong. Acted the same, the usual thing I do- she used to see. We still get along every day, there's something inside me shouting, crying, a good thing I'm wearing a think mask. But I know she knows how I feel because at some point I feel like she's being considerate to me, because of pity maybe.
One day, while she was on the phone talking to someone, I overheard their conversation, it turned out that she's talking to her childhood friend, and that he's inviting her for a dinner date. The pain strikes me again. So her childhood friend has feelings for her as well. My heartfelt feel heavy.
On the day of their dinner date, I followed her, she's wearing a beautiful dress, nice make-up, words running in my head " what a lucky guy, How I wish I'll be that man sitting in front of this beautiful lady having dinner with".
When I noticed the guy approaching her, several meters away. I abruptly grab her hands and asked her, "Could you pls not go? Stay here with me" With my eyes teary, I saw her looking at the other guy then look back at me, a few times. With hesitation on her face. Then uttered the words "I'm sorry" then walk towards her childhood friend.
It felt heavy, but I understood. She chose the guy she's longing for. She chose the guy who she think that will make her happy.
But I am thankful, for at least she hesitated, and that means a lot to me, that she somehow cared for me.
Thanks for hesitating.