I can write a lot about boy to girl relationship a lot because I'm one who have been in good and bad relationships. I've had my heart broken and also broken people's heart, at least not on purpose. I've also been privileged to counsel a few couples. Most of my friends are a lot older than I am, so let's just say I'm more experienced than I seem.
One of the most prominent causes of heartbreak is this phrase "love is blind". Most times, love is really blind. It only takes the strong to see past that blindness and read signs. These days cause of the heartbreaks going on everywhere, most people are advised not to love too much and not stay really committed to that relationship to prevent surprises. I don't really agree with that though.
Let me say this, before anyone should go into a relationship, that person should know that relationship is work. I mean big hard work. You should be ready to dance to the music when the beat starts playing. And, if you as a person is ready for a relationship, you should know if the other party is ready or not. There will surely be signs, its just that you overlooked those signs, because you probably love the person and you don't wanna accommodate that thought. A lot of people used to tell me that when they were dating or courting, the guy or the lady was really good and all and they didn't see any reason to see a red flag. 90% of the times after asking them some questions, we discover that there were some red flags in the relationship but they failed to read it and deal with it. Those ref flags developed and them caused them the heart break they're experiencing.
Now, I'm not saying every relationship should be perfect and at one point or the other, your partner won't make mistakes and all. No!! That's not what I'm saying. There are some things partners would do just to get the attention of the other or because they feel abandoned or something. But there are moves one would make to show that, you guys are not compatible. Most people see the sings but choose to still stay and fight. Sometimes it eventually works out, but a lot of times, heart break is the end result. I've been in that situation before. I would always wanna try and make the relationship work and keep on pushing and thinking she was the perfect one even though she wasn't for me. I had to see a counsellor and tell him everything about the relationship. He made me see that love really blinded my eyes to so many red flags that were glaring at me. At that moment, I accepted what I had already known a long time ago, the relationship was not working.
Most people are just attached to that one person because they're scared that if they let that person go, they wouldn't find anyone better or that the person would become a better person and you would miss out of that relationship. Don't let fear of the future make you lose sight of what's in front of you.
Immediately I realize the red flags, I also realized there was someone else who was willing to be with me at all cost, but I was blocking her out and focusing on another which won't work out.
Read the signs people. If they keep repeating that same stuff you don't like over and over, its a big ref flag. They stopped telling you "I love you", and when being asked why, they say nothing. That's a red flag. When they say they don't want to be in a relationship yet with you, but you're someone they don't wanna lose, that's a big red flag.
So many red flags to talk about. But also, in reading the red flags, also try to fish out the green flags. Looking out for the bad, would make you a seem like a pessimist. So try and be optimistic sometimes but also be alert. Love deeply, but don't let love blind you. Always create space for the light to shine in that relationship so that secrets are opened up.
