What Do We Expect From Our Parents??

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3 years ago

I have seen many posts on Read.Cash about "what will I teach my child?", " How to raise a child?", "Top 10 things that I will do with my child" bla bla bla blahhh. I have read some of these article and totally annoyed. Nobody ever mentioned that I will hear from my children what actually they want from me.

To be honest, today, parents think they have bought the head the children by giving birth to them. To those kind of parents I want to say, we never wanted to come. It was your decision in the first place. But everything is your decision?? How will you raise me, what you expect from us?? You can talk about fundamentals. That's the responsibility of every parents and everyone knows it. There are many parents here. I never saw them posting about what child want from parents. Only what will she/they do to raise the child. Dominating and manipulating from now one. If you think like this way now and expect a lot, most probably your children will be a spoiled brat. Nothing more.

Ever cared about how a children actually want to be raised?? You were a child too once, so you should know about that very well. Do you actually think your child is your pet and you will train it? Your child has a life, have a mind, have something he/she desires. I have seen some dominating parents in my real life and I feel sympathy for their child and thankful to God that I was not born in the house. Anyways, every child has life, different pattern, different needs. Care to listen to them once? Most parent think I won't do those to my child that happened to me but are you sure you are the worst sufferer in the world? There are many more things you don't know what others have suffer and again what is suffer to you can also be a cause of happiness to others. I don't know what a child actually want from their parents. As an individual, I had some desire from my parents too and most of them were not fulfilled. They think they are a good parents as they have given me chance to have proper education, taught me virtues, feed me well. Do you actually think it's actually enough to call you a good parents?? Like I said, every child is unique and has a unique mind, different want. As an individual, I have my own need too. I don't know about others but I want to express some of my desires that I think common to all children. Here me out.

Not To Compare Us With Another Person

Well, in my life I have suffered for this the most. Why do I have to listen that the neighbour kid got inside 10th place, why are you 11th?? More or less, I always hear this and as I heard from my friends, they have too. First of all, I am not the horse of their race that they bought to earn social status. Even my parents sometimes compare me with my cousins, they have many trophies why don't I have. I hate this comparing thing the most. When you start comparing, that moment you are clear that you are disrespecting your uniqueness and making him/her vulnerable.

Most of the parents end up comparing their child with other. That's makes a deep hole inside a child. That moment you make it clear you are not appreciating your child's efforts. Most parents never appreciates for getting the place their child has got. Only 1st/2nd/3rd gets appreciation most of the time. But they never think like this that he has place 15th and there are 20 student behind them. My child has beat 20 students. The only thing they focus that 14 child ahead of them. Scold their child and sometimes beat their child, no more video game, sit down to study, beat the neighbour kid. The pressure just increases. This pressure makes your child mentally imbalance and the next time you can find your child having a demotion in the result. So, I think this comparing stuff with other child should be stopped.

Get Some Appreciation

This is the second part of the previous story. Like I said, they are criticising but not appreciating for the place that his child got. They think if I beat them, no more games, not more t.v, less time at field and more time at table with books, he can so better in the exam. Eventually he will get good marks in the exam. But is you child happy actually??? Why didn't you think the alternative way that if I don't criticise rather praise him for the place he got, appreciate him for beating those 20 kids, he might get inspired from that and then concentrate on studying more willing for beating more kids, having a better place next time, and getting more appreciation.

This is the part I never got. I can not make them happy. I still remember, when I got scholarship at 5th grade, I was very happy as that was my first scholarship. I told my mom and she said it's not a big deal. In these early stages, getting scholarship is very easy and added I can't get scholarship when I will move to big classes. And guess what, I missed the next time. This time, I got a lot of criticism😆😆. Afraid and pressurised. That happens when you do these to your child. Appreciation is a booster for your child and criticism is holding him/her back. So appreciates your children for who they are and don't make them feel down. If they are down mentally, they can't go up. Inspire your children through appreciation and feel proud for who they are.

Let Them Decide Their Future Themselves

I don't know about other countries, but this is the problem of Indian subcontinent parents. Have you watched " 3 Idiots ". If boy, engineer. If girl, doctor. That was the thinking of a character there. I love that movie because through that movie they also showed to respect the decision of your offspring or else that can lead to suicide also. Many parents want their child to follow the same pathway that they are or to make them study a particular subject so that they can maintain the family business later. My parents made my brother and sister to study MBBS and become doctor as we have hospital and diagnostic and they thought my brother and sister will maintain it when my dad's responsibility is over there. They wanted to make me an engineer as my dad is engineer and thought it would be NICE to pass the title to me. But I never wanted that and I fought against their will, moreover I had to leave the home for one month and I stayed at mehnaz's place to study at my will. My biology books were locked up so that I can not study that and go for engineering.

So, like I said, everyone has different talent and passion in life. 3 idiots movie has a part on this too where Farhan finally confessed his desire to become a wildlife photographer and left engineering that he didn't like. Here Farhan was compared to the neighbour's child too. This is the actual face of I will raise my kid when then is no part I will try to know what hey want. Don't force your child to choose the subject that you want them to study. Let them study at their own will. It's good if they become good and successful in their subject rather than become an unsuccessful and frustrated at the subject you imposed on them.

Personal Space And Trust

Well, I have no complaint about that as my parents never cared what I am doing and they didn't ask or restrict me. So I got enough personal space but I doubt about the trust. Most probably they had that cause I was never questioned

This is very important for children most importantly when they grow up. You have to give them chance to prove themselves that they are now good to maintain a personal life. You have to have some trust on them. But if you don't give them chance but and act like you don't have trust on them and treat them like a prisoner. That can affect your children very much. So I think at least parents should have some belief on their children too and provide them some personal space.

Friendly Behaviour

It is the summary behaviour all I have written. When you are scolding children, not appreciating them, they are not getting trust, there will be distance with your parents and they will be afraid to share things with their parents. I think a parents need to be best friend of a child. But in this life, parents are so dominating that even our friends know more things about us than parents. It's the result of the distance. Every child want this space with parent but because of the dominating character they show, they become too much afraid to to share things.

I know someone, who hardly gives any space to her child. That child was soo much dominated that still have a schedule for watching t.v and area which he can not pass by his own. That's the most dominated kid I have ever seen. Always study or get beaten. Got beaten in front of me for not getting a place into top ten. Not getting more marks than his friend. Never got chance to go out and play with friends. Can't kick a ball. If someone is this much dominated, how can he get the courage to share stuffs with his parents.

So a healthy relationship is needed from the very beginning. It will help to keep you children safe too. And then they will be able to share their problems and that will definitely help to maintain a healthy relationship.

I can add more things but these are the common stuffs we face from our parents. i have many more little desires like I want a tour to Cox' Bazar but my family never took me there. Many desires but they never cared to know. I know this the the regular complaint of is about parents but they only care about > "How I will raise my children?". What a child wants from them is their least concern. All the desires are not appropriate but I believe most of the will be. Please don't dominate us, consider us as a life being and not a puppet or you fortune changer. If you give us the space we will also try our best to be the good child so that we can reply you for the kindness you have shown us. Fundamentals moral values are necessary and I am not talking about those. But in other parts don't be selfish and listen to your child's heart. It will help to maintain a stronger bond with your child.

Sorry if I have said something wrong, that's how I feel as an individual. Shared my opinion. Anyway thanks for your attention, be safe from Covid pandemic and good luck in earning crypto😌.

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3 years ago

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I experince that Comparing thingy, they always compared me to him, to her, to that bla bla bla, we are two sifferent people, off we are not the same so why compare? Instead of feeling motivated to study hatd more I will juat feel down because whats the use, im not good wnough to them, thwy will just compare me again to someone 🤧

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I think you'll become a good parent when you have own your child soon, because you already know these things 😊

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Ahh yes, the common things every parent does sometimes even when they're trying not to. And they question why their children has issues with them. What's irritating is that they realize this far later on in their life then they wish to make amends with their grandkids but what's bad is when the grandkids gets spoiled and brainwashed by the grandparents sometimes

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3 years ago

I have noo idea about grandparents as I don't have any😐😐 And they realize after a certain age when they are retired and actually think of reason and review the whole process. But then it's too latw for them.

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3 years ago

Yup. That's why most parents will just make it up to their own kids by spoiling their grandkids but that in itself isn't such a good idea because it kind of makes the child-parent relationship a bit unstable and eventually some kids even want to live with their grandparents instead

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3 years ago

I saw this happening. But too much independance is not good too. My cousin's son lived with my aunt while cousin lived at another place with his husband and her other son. I fon't know the reason. But he was spoiled totally. Somehow passed 12 grade. Failed two times. His aunt took him to Aus and I don't know what happened after that

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3 years ago

That's a personal choice which came from his independence but if taught right, independence can be good too. Specially if they're taught discipline while the child lived allne but it's bad that it still ruins a parent-child relationship in a way that the connections get lost

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3 years ago

that's obvious fact but still while parents are alive and together, I don't like the idea of living with grand parents. It's ovbious that after post-natal cnge parents become dearly as well as strict but it's unlikely that grandparents are strict. Tey harldy can teach moral values when it's time. And without moral value, you know what independent actually is. That's the fact I meant to tell

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3 years ago

Exactly!Ekdom thik points likhso.Egula bujhei nah maximum manush

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3 years ago

Kissu na...jst amadr ei family tar upor ekta overview kore vebe likhlm.. Amadr ei family te sobai kmn jni amadr tools hisebe vabe.. to be honest parenting jinis somporke proper dharona karor e nai😕😕😕

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3 years ago

Lol. This is a very interesting topic yet you only got .2. 😅 Well, this makes sense. Parents should hear out their children. It should be the vice versa. That's one kind of parenting style in which parents set rules but still listens to his/her childrens' side.

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3 years ago

It's very generous of him to give some reward in it😓😓. And actually they should. Do you maintain this parenting style?

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3 years ago