Humans are flawed. We may say things we don’t mean when we’re angry or scared, and whether we intend to or not, we hurt the people around us. Sometimes, things we say or the way we act can have a lot to do with coping with mental illness, trauma, or other events in our lives that have clung to us emotionally or continue to impact the way we live.
Again, humans are flawed, and it’s okay. It’s okay to have a bad day. It’s okay to make a mistake and then make amends and own up to it. Mental health and trauma can have a profound impact on our lives, and we should always listen to people’s experiences and validate what they’ve felt or gone through.
One thing we absolutely can’t do, though, is use mental illness or trauma to justify patterns of hurtful or problematic behavior. Mental illness does not give someone a free pass to maintain a habit of hurting others. It also does not give someone permission to create a toxic environment for friends, family, or spouses.
You cannot demand sensitivity from everyone in your life for mental health or trauma when you are totally unwilling to return that same sensitivity. Trauma and mental illness are not your fault, and you should never blame yourself for experiencing either of them, but healing and making sure you do not subject the people you love to toxicity is entirely your responsibility.