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@Jelena more from that month

Fear of giving birth

If you ask me when I was the most scared in my life, my answer will definitely be when I had to give a birth. I am a mother of two children, so I was pregnant two times. I couldn't ever imagine the moment when I would give a birth. It was very difficult for me to live with that fear and annoying thoughts, every day, every moment. I had many sleepless nights, a lot of questions in my mind and I had impression that I will be the only woman in this world who will not be able to give a birth. As the term was getting closer and closer, my fear became greater and greater. **My first delivery** When I was pregnant with my first child, my doctor determined that my baby has specific fetal position so that will not be possible to give birth naturally. When I heard that, I was very happy and I felt relief. Nobody understood why I was happy because it would be normal that I want to have natural childbirth as normal, healthy process, without complications, but I was afraid of handling pain during the natural childbirth. In my country you don't have possibility to choose the method of delivery. You just need to listen to your doctor. As natural childbirth wasn't possible, I had Caesarean section. It is a surgical procedure and for me it was a great experience. I didn't want to be awake. I wanted to sleep due to section, so I were under general anesthesia. When I woke up it was all over. I felt like it was magical moment and I couldn't believe that my fear has gone finally. **C-section again** When I was pregnant for the second time, I was more afraid then first time because during the time I was listen to different experiences and later I realized that it could be very bad when you listen to the others. Everyone has his own unique experience and it couldn't be compared. This time my baby has a normal position so my doctor started to prepare me for natural childbirth. I was hoping that I will received Epidural anesthesia, which will block my pain but in my country you could never be sure will you get Epidural or not. It depends on the attitude of the anesthesiologist. Two weeks before my delivery, I had tragedy in my family and because of that my doctor decided to do C-section again. At that moment, I was under the stress but I felt a little relief because of his decision. My experience with C-section was really great both times, but every woman has her own experience. **Final thoughts** That is how I finished my giving birth actions. I survived and now I have two beautiful children. Fear should never be an obstacle in everything what we do. Article and photo are original and they belong to me. Thank you very much for reading.

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