7 Stages of Long-Distance Relationships

Have you been into a long-distance relationship? How was it? Did it succeed? Was it on and off? Or did the relationship just went off like a bubble?

Studies have shown that long-distance relationships have a success rate of 58%. Well, I guess that's pretty accurate as to how I observed the love stories that I have witnessed from my friends.

Some relationships even start that way so it will never be an issue since then, but this is a different story to deal with.

Here are the stages of Long Distance Relationships:

1. Decision

This is when the couple decides to try to make the long-distance relationship work. When one has the opportunity to travel for work, or get admitted to a far university, or is faced with an obligation to travel, and the other one cannot or chooses not to go with them, the couple has to choose between breaking up or entering into a long-distance relationship.

Common factors that cause the couple to enter a/an LDR are:

- travel due to job description or promotions

- entering the military

- education

- emergency

- family members moving

POV:

I met my boyfriend at the school where I taught for 2 years (2016-2018). We became a couple after 6 months of my service and then we entered LDR since I had to quit my job because of stress and health issues. It's going to be a 6-hour trip before we get to see each other. Yeah, I know it's not that far compared to other relationships out there but it's rare for us to reunite because of his work and personal reasons too. Plus, the pandemic is going on today.

2. Parting

This is when the couple spends every inch of time together before they get separated to make up for the weeks, months, or years they will be apart. This is also where the couple sets boundaries and rules to keep the relationship healthy.

POV:

He was my porter on the day of my departure. He carried almost all of my things. With regard to setting boundaries and rules, we don't really have those. We know for ourselves what's right and wrong so we just trust each other. We rarely talk on the phone. We just use Facebook messenger as our means of communication. Sounds boring right? But that's how we are most comfortable of.

3. Transition

This is when the couple makes adjustments to their everyday routine as they are no longer together. However, this is also where the communication never stops as both are constantly updating each other's activities.

POV:

Well, we chat every day so it was not that hard to cope up with the situation. However, we surely missed each other's presence most especially in the early days of separation. Along the way, we kind of get used to it but we still long for each other's presence. I mean, who wouldn't want to?

4. Realization

This is when the couple realizes what life is like without their partner. They must face the reality that they can't depend on each other physically when they need them the most. However, this also helps each other to become independent, have better time management, and improve communication.

POV:

Months after the separation, we realized that it was not that easy to see each other that often because of certain circumstances. For the record, I hid my relationship with him until I got confined because of my depression. So my parents were surprised upon learning about it. We hid it for 1 year 🤣

5. Jealousy

This is when the couple gets jealous of each other with the people they spend the time together. This jealousy is not just about being romantically involved with a potential third party person but being jealous of their friends and family they get to spend time together.

POV:

Hmm, I will bet $1000 if there's a couple who never gets jealous of the people around with their partners. I believe it's normal to get jealous but it's no longer cute if that jealousy escalates to something manipulative and disturbing to other people.

I get jealous of the friends he spends the time with but I know he is aware that he'll be in trouble if he does a wrong move. 😎

6. Doubt

This is the most critical stage of LDR. The longer the couple never gets to see each other, the greater the relationship's uncertainty becomes. If one has doubts about making the relationship work before the transition stage, the relationship has a weaker chance to survive.

POV:

It's been almost 3 years of being in a long-distance relationship. We had the chance to see each other roughly 3x to 4x a year only. There were times where I had doubts about how to make the relationship work. Maybe because I felt helpless to relive the intimacy and just overthinking. Doubting if I'm good enough for him, maybe he finds a girl who can give the care he needs?

7. Validation

This is when the successful long-distance relationship couple finds themselves returning to this stage again and again. While unsuccessful couples might end in stage 6, doubt. Studies show that LDR is successful if both ends listen actively to each other's sentiments. This means that even if you are far from each other, if you maintain open and honest communication then you're good to go.

Relationships will always come with jealousy and doubts. These are the turning points of re-evaluating the relationship and if you find yourselves choosing each other again and again then the relationship will work all throughout.

POV:

Three years of commitment was not easy at all. I know it's still early to say he's the one but it feels different when you are really sure of yourself so I'm claiming it.

May you find yours too. I hope you too can make it to stage number 7. ❤