@Jb83
Expectations over marriage
"Wow how beautiful she is, I feel so heavenly in love, I can't wait to get married!" "She's boring, she doesn't know how to please me,! I can't wait for this marriage to end!." These statements were mostly said by what they call love at first sight from the same person. The first statement was made by him when he's still single while the second one was when he got married. He then realizes that he made the wrong decision. What happened to these couples? Should they be living happily ever after? What can you do to prevent a wonderful relation to become an annoying marriage and becoming a nightmare? Remember that in every marriage there is always tension. May it be the the the the the the the cause of financial, material, emotional, physical, and spiritual. The couple is not made to be similar, though they have similarities in any way, they are still imperfect. So occasionally, couples will have conflicts, no matter how compatible they seem. Sometimes they may even say awful things that they regret later. “A person who never said anything wrong. Nonetheless, positive-minded couples can prevent and having misunderstanding to prevail for so long. They learn to talk over and straighten the curve within their relationship in a short period of time before it becomes greater and more complicated to resolve. A couple is like a team consisting of two players. Each player has an important role as a player in order to win the game. What game? Well, their marriage. Each one of the couples must do his/her part and responsibility in order to have a successful marriage. Do not expect too much. Always expect the unexpected. Marriage is not full of bliss. It will become boring if you don't undergo some misconceptions throughout your journey as a couple. Occasionally, there are some couples that realize that they are less better than the other pairs. They tend to compare their relationship to the other couples which they think is much better and living more blissfully than them. Similarly, if one of the pairs was disillusioned and compares their partners to the others which they believe to be more satisfactory like their looks, attitude, and goals than their partner and that she/he apparently should be one too. This will trigger them to give less value to their pair and insecurities will arise. This is not a proper way to value your pair. If you wanted him/her to be like someone else then you don't love him/her at all. Learn to accept him/her the way she is. But in some cases, if your partner is an addict, a drunkard, a womanizer, a lazy glutton, and does not know how to raise a family, that is another story. You can try to talk to your pair nicely about that matter. Give them a chance to change their behavior, a chance to become a better person not to spoil them. Do not forget to PRAY. In any case of problems, you should not forget to pray. However, if that chance was abused, a heavy decision you must bring down. Just remember that in a marriage, as you go along with your journey, you will learn a lot of imperfections of your partner but you may discover plenty of his/her good qualities as well. Just acknowledge it as a part of married life and get used to it. This is just a part of a marital journey. There is a lot to be discussed but I just mentioned a part of it. Happy reading.
2 comments
haiiszt... where is that comment I was supposed to send?it disappeared, eh? one thing I hate to read is about marriage. dont get me wrong, I used to love reading articles about marriage and parenting as it not only helps me grow as a wife and mother but most importantly as a person. The former only makes me feel bad, cheated and stepped upon and insulted bcoz Im doing whatever I can as a wife and mother but only reciprocated by unacceptables. I learned not to try compare my marriage life to others as it would only worsen my emotions and affect my parenting. Talk you say? It's not an effective tool to be use to someone whose characteristics and personality is much worst than the stinkiest of thrash. I tried the very best I can to talk to him but I only received humiliation, bad mouthed etc. now am tired.I only write everything what I wanted to tell him until my emotions was lifted from those boulders I was covered with..I am a suicidal person, sad no one understands how it felt. if I tried to tell someone, not my family they would only tell me that many has more heavier problem than mine (it's not what a deppress person would like to hear). am full of bitterness,not even the most bitter bitter gourd there is is compared to it. If am gonna sum it up,its 85% to 15% where the latter is only amounting his dedication for his job not even his paternal role is included to it, while the former composed of his very bad characteristics and personality, bad parenting, vices (such as drinking, smoking, gambling), inconsideration, lack of compassion and apathy, no ambition for the future thus wasting time and resources and not making most of it
I can feel seems you held up all the weights of the world😅. Though you don't like it i know you tried. But it doesn't mean that all your efforts are all in vain. You have passed a lot of struggles and you made your journey too far. That alone can be your solace. If you did all your part, then there's nothing more you can do but to remain full in your forbearance.