Challenges became a part of our daily lives already. They are given and can be used to our advantage. As we continue along our journey to find the real us and to reach our goals in life, obstacles and challenges will always be on our way. We either face and overcome it, or run away like coward and accept defeat. However, will you ever let it happen? Will you let yourself to be called looser? Or will you stand from fall and continue your course of life and find the right path that will lead to a better you and to a better life.
I grew up facing different challenges everyday, taking responsibilities and carrying the burden that life throws at me. As the eldest daughter in the family, I became the second mother of my little siblings, their baby-sitter, their teacher, their playmate and their provider.
I became responsible at young age, knowing what things to do without waiting for my parents orders. Filtering good from bad, understanding every single situation without further knowledge and learning lessons from the mistakes I've done. And at young age, I encountered lots of challenges.
Having a soldier father is something that no kids will ever dream of. Soldiers are always destined to distant places which is the reason why they seldom visited their families. At the age of 9, I experienced babysitting my little siblings without my mother's help as she visited my father in northern part of our country where my father was assigned. That time, there was free wedding for soldiers, so my mother went to my father's place and it took her more than a month before going back home. I learned how to cook for my little siblings, wash their clothes and at the same time do my school home works. It was so tiring for me and I always ask myself "why do I need to experience this at early age?" I wanted to play with other kids but I can't. However, despite of those challenges, I never lose hope and waited for my mother to come back home.
My childhood life isn't as happy as other kids. I envy those who can play outside anytime. I always dreamed of having free life, no responsibilities, no burdens, and free to play anytime until my skin got burn under the sun, and my clothes got soak with sweat. I always wished to have a better life so we can hire a babysitter for my little siblings. I always wished my parents to stop from adding more child. The more we have in the family, the bigger my responsibility, the more I won't have freedom to play, freedom to enjoy my childhood life.
In my primary school I got bullied by other rich kids. There are times that I don't want to attend our class, as they will only bully me once they saw me. But despite of having bullies, I have friends too. Friends who defended me from my bullies, friends who played with me, friends who taught me that no matter how hard life is, we can always have time to play and to be happy. Although I've been bullied, I never give up. So instead of crying, I learned how to laugh at bad words my bullies thrown at me and I chose to continue schooling because I know, my friends are their to protect me.
Fast forward, my high school life run so smoothly, no more bullies, more friends, more enjoyment. I considered my high school life as one of the happiest moments of my life. Despite of having hard life at home, at least I have happy life at school. So I never give up, rather I continue to dream bigger and to wish for more happy things.
My college life was toughest of them all. School's far distance from home so I need to wake early in the morning in order not to be caught by traffic and just to be on time in class. My tuition fee and school's miscellaneous fees were my biggest problem. I always get stress by the though that I need money for school, but at the same time, my youngest sibling needs to feed with milk and my family needs it more. Instead of worrying about my difficult subjects, I worried more for my family. "What should I do? Should I stop or continue?" That were the questions in my mind. But I want to graduate, I want to have a good job in the future, I want to give my family a better life, and so I chose to continue and I thought "everything has a reason, I shouldn't give up".
As soon as I graduated, I immediately looked for a job. Luckily, I got one four months after being toxic at home from a long break of being unemployed degree holder.
Every new day always have new challenges, new obstacles, new problems, new experiences, meet new people and take new responsibilities. My main reason of finding a job was to support my family. I remember the times that I visited home every weekend with baby items such as milk, diaper, and other foods. People were asking me if I have a baby already, it was kind've embarrasing carrying baby products and hearing insulting words from those people. But I never mind their stupid judgement, as it was for my youngest brother.
Life goes on. I became used to taking responsibilities, devoting my time for my work and for my family to the point that I forgot to care for myself. A common situation among girls came into my life. I've experience the most painful feeling from being betrayed by my loved one, that thing they called "heartbreak". I was young back then and so innocent of some things this world. I doesn't know yet how to handle such situation and the only thing I knew was to cry. I always asked myself "how to move on from this breakup?" Everyday became a painful day, tears keeps falling on my face, no appetite to swallow my food, and seems like there were no colors in this world.
But God was so good, and heard my prayers. The painful heartbreak was actually a blessing in disguise. Through that, I've meet new friends who comforted me during those painful days. And those friends became my real friends up to this life. It taught me to take responsibility from my actions. It forces me to take a look in the mirror and address some truths about myself that might be hard to swallow. And because of that, I became a stronger person.
Despite of being a strong person, my pessimistic side always pop out at anytime. I always worried if my hardwork was enough to support my family. As my little siblings grow, my responsibilities grew as well. And that leads me to find a better job which I thought will give me a higher income to support my family. Applying abroad was my last option.
The process was challenging. With all the money I've earned from my previous job, I surge the way to the capital city of my country to apply a job for abroad. It was my first time in that city. But I wasn't ignorant anymore not to know everything happening in this world. With my strong mind and determination, I faced the crowd and continue to reach my goal. However, having optimistic mind and strong body wasn't enough, there were times that I want to give up. Maybe because I was already tired taking responsibilities and I wanted to rest.
The negativity sometimes overflowed in my mind. And those negative thoughts were the reasons why I attempted to commit suicide. In my stay in Manila, It was so sad and challenging - away from my family, away from my friends and all alone waiting for unsure opportunity. It took me long to wait for a job offer. I almost gave up and I thought I wouldn't have that chance anymore. My money was running out, I doesn't want to disappoint my family and so I thought to leave this world. My emotional distress took over my mind but it seems like God was there to fill it up and stopped me from that absurd attempt. Then I remember my family, their future without me, the thoughts of not seeing my little siblings finish their studies, those thoughts gave me full hope and courage to continue my life.
And through that, I forced myself to let go of those worries, to let go of those emotions, to push the obstacles that will come on my way and to stay optimistic no matter what challenges life throws at me.
Challenges are common in life. As we go through challenges, we become stronger and stronger. Challenges are an excellent opportunity for growth. They test our resolve and commitment to our goals. And when we overcome them, we develop emotional and mental strength.
On the process of facing challenges, we develop resilience. We were able to adapt well and bounce back quickly in times of stress. Developing resilience can help us tailor ourself and recover after changes, challenges, negativity, disappointments, and failures.
"Despite of so many challenges that life throws at me, I never give up, I never lose hope. I laughed at my bullies and failures. I chose to continue facing the challenges. I chose to become stronger and optimistic in order to achieve my goals in life and to find the better me.
And when I was about to fall down, I prayed to God and waited for his answers. I embraced my life, invigorated myself to continue my journey and get ready to face the upcoming challenges that life will throw at me.
My parents didn't forced me to take the responsibilities. But as my two eldest brother married at young age, I chose to help them support my 10 little siblings. We're many right? 😂
My father have money, but I never relied on it. I chose to work and save for our future.
I chose to suffer and take the responsibilities and as a responsible daughter, I know, that is the best thing that I should do.
Thank you to those who submitted their entries in regards to my sponsorship contest. Today is the last day of submission. Results will be posted on Sunday.
I'm busy today so sorry for the wrong grammars. I'll proofread it later. Have a nice day.