How often do we tell someone we love them, just to hear their response? I think it's quite often, because it's something that I did in the past. Sometimes I would be having a bad day, or feeling at the time that I needed validation from someone I knew would give it to me, and all I would have to say to them was "I love you" to get the response I was looking for. I wasn't telling them I loved them out of love, but out of selfishness and my own needs. Even though I said something so pleasant to the ears, and warming to the heart, it was completely one sided, and held no weight.
And what would happen if that person did not respond the way I wanted them to? The way I needed them to? I would feel completely rejected, and my self worth would go out the window. My world would be scattered, and I would be hurt, and offended with them because they let me down when I needed them the most.
Sometimes someone close to us can purposely hurt us, and make us feel that much worse. "I trusted them, how could they do this to me?" This is what we might say, or feel in our hearts. It's because the ones we leaned on to hold us up has left us, and betrayed us, so we've fallen flat and can't get up.
The truth is, I never really loved them to begin with, it was only a selfish type of love. I only loved what they could do for me. How they made me feel, and how they satisfied my own inner needs. I was just using them really, to get what I needed out of the relationship I had with them, but as soon as they were gone, or if they had failed me in any way, my world was shaken.
But soon the Lord changed my perspective of what it is to love someone, and not love what I can get out of them. You see, to love someone is to be able to say "I love you" and not need to hear a response. It doesn't matter what they say, because in your heart you truly love them so much that you just wanted to express your love to them with no strings attached. You are no longer leaning on their validation, or their approval to hold you up. Which is so freeing in itself.
To love someone means that they can never hurt, or offend you because your heart never changes toward them. Instead of being hurt by them, you are hurt for them because their heart is in a place it shouldn't be, but you are always ready to take them back in with complete forgiveness. This is a piece of God’s heart, His character, that we should all embrace for ourselves.
If we can place the needs of others above our own, then we have known what true love is.
galing naman