20 things to accept in your partner

20 things to accept in your partner

Now that we’re spending more time with our partners and family members, little things they’ve always done can start to grate on our nerves. The only way to cope is to accept their annoying imperfections (and possibly try a few solutions to make them less jarring).

They want to be close to you… all the time

Personal space is a hot commodity these days, so it’s understandable you may need a bit of non-touching time. So ask for it!

They can never seem to find the laundry bin

It’s annoying to live among loose socks and dirty underwear, and constantly having to remind your partner to pick up their stuff can make you feel like a nag. The solution? Turn the pick-up into a joke by piling their dirty wares on their side of the bed. They should get the hint. Otherwise, you could buy a laundry bin for every one of your rooms to help make the cleanup process easier.

They leave dishes everywhere

Anyone who uses a dish should either wash it or stack it in the dishwasher before leaving the kitchen. If your partner can’t seem to figure this rule out, turn managing the dishes into a competition.

They take incredibly long showers

Unless you’re very concerned about your budget, there are worse things than having to wait for a long shower-taker. (That is, of course, unless you have a bathroom emergency.) If your partner has been indulging in some self-care by means of long showers, take it as a cue to do the same.

They are always singing

Singing is a proven mood-booster, so as annoying as this trait is, your partner’s a cappella achievements could actually do you a world of good.

They are obsessed with the news

It’s important to keep informed, but most experts agree that staying glued to the news can actually increase stress and feelings of insecurity. Watch how your partner responds to what they are watching; if their habit turns into an obsession and they can’t talk about anything other than the coronavirus, you may need to chat with them about scaling back.

They leave their work stuff everywhere

They say that messy desks are a sign of intelligence, but what happens when the home becomes the desk? The only solution is to get hyper-organized. Have your partner put all of their work wares in a designated pile or box at the end of the day.

They’re a bit too honest

Honesty can be a strong suit, but if your partner isn’t sugarcoating anything, you may find some pills a little too tough to swallow. If you believe your partner means well, express your feelings and ask them to soften their delivery; if, however, there is a tinge of anger to what they say, you may need to consider whether the relationship is safe.

They redo the housework you’ve just done

You might find it super annoying, and it’s a time-suck for your partner, but as habits go, needlessly redoing chores isn’t that big of a deal. It’s probably the only thing giving your partner a sense of order or control in a time when nothing is certain. Let this one go.

They’re forgetful

Memory loss is a common side effect of stress, and basically everyone these days is feeling a bit stressed. So while forgetfulness may seem like an annoying habit, it’s probably due to your partner’s brain being overworked. To try to overcome this obstacle, make list-sharing a new habit; post tasks on your fridge or share to-dos through an app.

They’ll get to that chore… eventually

You asked them to take out the trash in the morning and it’s still sitting on the floor at dinner. Should you take it out yourself or ask them to do it again? Neither, say experts. Use it as an opportunity to discuss how to better divide chores in a way that will benefit your partnership.

They wait for you to discipline the kids

Having to juggle kids and work will shorten anyone’s fuse, so you and your partner need to be on the same page when it comes to disciplining. To avoid having one person take on the lion’s share of kid management, sit down with your partner and work out a schedule indicating when you’ll each care for your tots, and discuss disciplinary strategies for different scenarios.

They stare off into the distance

It’s easy to interpret this as your partner intentionally ignoring you, but pause and think about what’s more likely happening: they’re probably staring off into space thinking about the many worries of the day (finances, the coronavirus, getting it all done). The habit even has a name—“the anxiety stare.”

They’re always on their phone

Social media offers a great distraction from the bad news cycle of the day, so it’s no wonder everyone is (probably) slightly addicted to their phones right now. To ensure you can enjoy some non-screen time as a family, make some house rules for when phones and tablets can be used. The rest of the time, keep devices stored in a box on a shelf.

They forget they need sleep

Some people deal with stress by coping in destructive ways, like staying up way too late. Remember that this annoying behaviour may be your mate’s only way of coping with the unknown of the current situation. Encourage them to come to bed by creating a new pre-zzzs routine, like sharing snacks or chatting in bed.

They act as if there’s no such thing as a closed door

You may think there’s no excuse for never-closing-the-door syndrome, but it turns out that some research suggests this happens when people’s brains are working on overdrive (a state that’s akin to ADHD). Someone will, essentially, forget to close a door before moving on to another task. The solution? Remind them that you could hurt yourself because of their carelessness, then ask them to slow down, and close the door yourself.

They don’t clean up after their self-care routine

Stepping into the bathroom for a little self-care can go off the rails when you find your partner has left their razor trimmings or toenail clippings all over the sink or floor. (On the bright side, at least they care about personal hygiene.) Throw what you can into the trash bin (don’t rinse anything down the sink!), and remind your partner to clean up after themselves. Another idea? Put a change jar in the bathroom, and have your partner drop their loose change in every time they forget to tidy up. Then, treat yourself to something sweet with the profits.

They leave empty jars in the fridge

You could spend your time getting annoyed by this habit (especially if you were hoping to use the contents of one of those jars to make dinner), but it’s probably not worth the fuss since it’s super simple to toss the empty container in the recycling. To ensure you’re not left high and dry the next time you want to dip into a spread, post an “empties” list on your fridge so everyone in the house can add to it when an item needs restocking.

They don’t know how to hang a toilet paper roll

Should a toilet paper roll hang over or under when hung on a horizontal holder? The debate continues, so you’ll have to decide if this is really a habit worth starting a discussion about. It’s probably just easier to flip the roll to your preferred orientation every time you use the washroom.

They can’t stick to a schedule

Most experts agree that during this trying time, sticking to a schedule is key. It will alleviate anxiety and help ensure that parents equitably divide managing work and personal tasks. It’s no wonder, then, that your partner’s inability to stick to a schedule could get annoying. Try to remember that the daily rules and routines are new to them, too. Give your mate a couple of weeks to adjust. If, after that, they still can’t manage their time, have a polite chat with them to see if you can shift things around so that things are more balanced.