"

.

"Writing for those who want to commit suicide thousands of times a day"

.

.

September 16, 2019 I still remember the worst day of my life. I still did not know where it ended. The question may arise why? What happened?

.

I loved one person a lot, I believed he quit because I didn't have a job that day. 90% of people in our generation commit suicide due to relationship. I was no exception.

.

Until November 14, 2019, almost two months were the worst two months of my life. 2-3 days after my mother died, I stopped crying and sat for school exams. But this time I could not forget why I know. So I was probably in love more than my mother. About 25% of my hair fell out in just two months. Thinking of dandruff or other reasons? No brother, I would tear my hair at night. I could feel the pain, how much I was in pain. There is no night that I have not cried. But I was not at home for these 2 months. I lived in Gazipur and did tuition. The student could not leave for home for JSC examination.

.

My weight decreased from 56 kg to 50 kg in 2 months. I became so weak that I did not even do tuition properly. For two months I never ate rice three times a day. You know I used to watch movies all night. So that I can forget him. But when I closed my eyes, he would leave. I would press my nose on the pillow, hold my breath and pull my hair. Then I would cry in pain. I don't know when I fell asleep crying.

.

Do you know how to spend my day? I would wake up in the afternoon and take a bath. I used to have breakfast and lunch at the table together. After eating and drinking, I would ask myself, will a new night come again today? Will I be alone again that night? Well, is it very important for me to survive? A failed man, twice failed admission in duet, a donkey who could not give a brother even after passing the written test in Water Development Board. Incompetent people living an unemployed life for 3 years. Well do you think I needed to survive? I wrote suicide notes a few times. When the writing was over, I know why my father's face would float. When I study in Rangpur. He would give me money to go to Rangpur by selling fish in cold water in the market on winter mornings. Now I think 23 years have suffered like this for today?

.

November 14, 2019 JSC exam ended. I decided in advance that I would leave when the test was over. That's what I did. Do not know why Aslam left? I started wanting to live. I had to live it all night. Well, well, you know why I chatted for so long? To make you feel the depth of my suffering. Then keep reading what I will say, maybe it will be useful in your life.

.

November 15, 2019 was Friday. I shifted to a new place, the place is very familiar to me. I used to do a tuition at this place. I wonder if my mind would have been much better when I came to this place? Don't want to know the reason?

As I said because I also say tao.

.

The main reason I came here was to pray 5 times. The reason I was in good spirits was the hundreds of students at Hafezia Madrasa. What a beautiful game they played in the afternoon. He was a student of Madrasa from the age of 5 to 30 years. They used to play all over the field in the afternoon. I was happy to see their smiles and thought I know why not? They pray 5 times and always call on Allah. And in return, Allah has brought happiness and joy from their minds. From the day I started to understand it, I used to deactivate Facebook and offer 5 times prayers as well as tahajjud prayers. I cried a lot to God for my mistake.

.

I started studying for my government job on November 15, 2019. I promised I wouldn't talk to anyone until I had a job. I haven't spent my 10 minutes on nonsense since that day. I would start crying at night when I dreamed of him. No, I used to sit in the prayers of Tahajjud and say to Allah, Allah, please stop me from thinking about him. So that he does not come in my dreams.

.

On December 26, 2019, I took the test for the job at Rooppur Nuclear Power Plant. Then on January 10, 2020 I took the exam at BADC. Alhamdulillah Allah was always with me. I was nominated to give vaiba in 2 exams. As soon as I saw the result that day, I fell in prostration to Allah. After that January 24, 2019, I again passed all the failures and passed the written test. I'm not a loser. I cried a lot that day.

.

.

Finally, on July 26, 2020, 7 days before this, by the grace of Allah, I came to know that NSI verification is going on at my Rooppur nuclear power plant. One of the best Eid gifts in my life was given by Allah. InshaAllah, if all goes well, I will join very soon. God, the Sustainer, knows all.

.

Do you know the main reason I say this? We end our beautiful life by failing in our relationship. Who did Allah call when you didn't find anyone by your side? Why commit suicide? If I fail again InshaAllah I will turn around again Do you know why? Because I believe in my God a lot. Surely Allah is the best of planners. The one who is not in your life today was never yours. Then why do you lose? If it had been the job of the Water Development Board in my life that day, I would have married the wrong person who threatened to leave the market a day because I was not getting the job. I sincerely believe you can if you want.

.

I will end by saying one last thing

Allah the Almighty says - "Maybe you dislike something while it is good for you. And maybe you like something while it is bad for you. Indeed, Allah knows and you do not know."

- [Surah Al-Baqarah, verse 216]

.

"If you want a story from life, you can match the dates with the bar. I have shortened it a lot, otherwise the writing would have been much bigger."

Written by HM Rifat Rahman (Mechanical Technology 12-13 session)"My Survival Story"

.

"Writing for those who want to commit suicide thousands of times a day"

.

.

September 16, 2019 I still remember the worst day of my life. I still did not know where it ended. The question may arise why? What happened?

.

I loved one person a lot, I believed he quit because I didn't have a job that day. 90% of people in our generation commit suicide due to relationship. I was no exception.

.

Until November 14, 2019, almost two months were the worst two months of my life. 2-3 days after my mother died, I stopped crying and sat for school exams. But this time I could not forget why I know. So I was probably in love more than my mother. About 25% of my hair fell out in just two months. Thinking of dandruff or other reasons? No brother, I would tear my hair at night. I could feel the pain, how much I was in pain. There is no night that I have not cried. But I was not at home for these 2 months. I lived in Gazipur and did tuition. The student could not leave for home for JSC examination.

.

My weight decreased from 56 kg to 50 kg in 2 months. I became so weak that I did not even do tuition properly. For two months I never ate rice three times a day. You know I used to watch movies all night. So that I can forget him. But when I closed my eyes, he would leave. I would press my nose on the pillow, hold my breath and pull my hair. Then I would cry in pain. I don't know when I fell asleep crying.

.

Do you know how to spend my day? I would wake up in the afternoon and take a bath. I used to have breakfast and lunch at the table together. After eating and drinking, I would ask myself, will a new night come again today? Will I be alone again that night? Well, is it very important for me to survive? A failed man, twice failed admission in duet, a donkey who could not give a brother even after passing the written test in Water Development Board. Incompetent people living an unemployed life for 3 years. Well do you think I needed to survive? I wrote suicide notes a few times. When the writing was over, I know why my father's face would float. When I study in Rangpur. He would give me money to go to Rangpur by selling fish in cold water in the market on winter mornings. Now I think 23 years have suffered like this for today?

.

November 14, 2019 JSC exam ended. I decided in advance that I would leave when the test was over. That's what I did. Do not know why Aslam left? I started wanting to live. I had to live it all night. Well, well, you know why I chatted for so long? To make you feel the depth of my suffering. Then keep reading what I will say, maybe it will be useful in your life.

.

November 15, 2019 was Friday. I shifted to a new place, the place is very familiar to me. I used to do a tuition at this place. I wonder if my mind would have been much better when I came to this place? Don't want to know the reason?

As I said because I also say tao.

.

The main reason I came here was to pray 5 times. The reason I was in good spirits was the hundreds of students at Hafezia Madrasa. What a beautiful game they played in the afternoon. He was a student of Madrasa from the age of 5 to 30 years. They used to play all over the field in the afternoon. I was happy to see their smiles and thought I know why not? They pray 5 times and always call on Allah. And in return, Allah has brought happiness and joy from their minds. From the day I started to understand it, I used to deactivate Facebook and offer 5 times prayers as well as tahajjud prayers. I cried a lot to God for my mistake.

.

I started studying for my government job on November 15, 2019. I promised I wouldn't talk to anyone until I had a job. I haven't spent my 10 minutes on nonsense since that day. I would start crying at night when I dreamed of him. No, I used to sit in the prayers of Tahajjud and say to Allah, Allah, please stop me from thinking about him. So that he does not come in my dreams.

.

On December 26, 2019, I took the test for the job at Rooppur Nuclear Power Plant. Then on January 10, 2020 I took the exam at BADC. Alhamdulillah Allah was always with me. I was nominated to give vaiba in 2 exams. As soon as I saw the result that day, I fell in prostration to Allah. After that January 24, 2019, I again passed all the failures and passed the written test. I'm not a loser. I cried a lot that day.

.

.

Finally, on July 26, 2020, 7 days before this, by the grace of Allah, I came to know that NSI verification is going on at my Rooppur nuclear power plant. One of the best Eid gifts in my life was given by Allah. InshaAllah, if all goes well, I will join very soon. God, the Sustainer, knows all.

.

Do you know the main reason I say this? We end our beautiful life by failing in our relationship. Who did Allah call when you didn't find anyone by your side? Why commit suicide? If I fail again InshaAllah I will turn around again Do you know why? Because I believe in my God a lot. Surely Allah is the best of planners. The one who is not in your life today was never yours. Then why do you lose? If it had been the job of the Water Development Board in my life that day, I would have married the wrong person who threatened to leave the market a day because I was not getting the job. I sincerely believe you can if you want.

.

I will end by saying one last thing

Allah the Almighty says - "Maybe you dislike something while it is good for you. And maybe you like something while it is bad for you. Indeed, Allah knows and you do not know."

- [Surah Al-Baqarah, verse 216]

.

"If you want a story from life, you can match the dates with the bar. I have shortened it a lot, otherwise the writing would have been much bigger."