How I wasted my Life (Part 2)

After 2 days I received a call and it was from this woman who told me to leave her husband. I asked who the man was and she said the same mans name. I was so hurt and disturbed she told me they were just on separation but the man went to get them from their place. I decided to forget him and just concentrate on my studies. After 3 months I met this nice man from church and we became close. He was a serious man and in no time we started dating. After 5 months of dating he told me he wanted to marry me and I told him we will get married after I graduate. One day he even took me to his Aunt place to introduce me and I found she had prepared for my coming. This man wanted to marry me but I noticed one thing he was stingy. He was not like that other man who used to spoil me with money. Just when I was thinking about his attitude with money the other man (the one who was married) called me that he wanted to talk and you know I was broke then so I had no option but to meet up with him . he explained himself and told me that he had officially separated with his wife and because I loved him and missed his money I forgave him and we got back with him. I broke up with that other serious man and went back to Martin (the married man).

My relationship with martin was on a serious level till I realized I was pregnant. What do I do am in school what will my father think? Those are the questions I asked myself. So we agreed with martin that I abort. The abortion was a success and we continued with him. Martin and I were not really using condoms but safe days. Again the same thing happened I got pregnant its like I messed up my counting. This time I was scared of aborting. Thinking my womb will be damaged so I decided I will keep it and martin refused but I told him this time he just has to be a man and accept. When I went back home my parents were so dissapointed when I told them I was pregnant I told them who was responsible and the day he came for damage issues was the day I was embarrassed his family told my family that he had a wife and he had impregnated a lot of girls and I happened to be one of them. I cried that day but told myself I will pull through all this. My father didn't talk to me till the day I gave birth to my baby. After my birth I went back to school in my last semester. Everyone had heard my story and I was the laughing stock of the school. For how long will I suffer like that? I told myself I will get over this embarrassment..... To be continued

How I wasted my Life Part 3

After trying hard at school I finally managed to graduate and was waiting for government to post me. When I went back home I decided to apply at private schools as I was waiting to be posted. I was accepted at a catholic school as a part time teacher. I now wanted to start a new page in my life. One of my workmates Mweemba and I became close and I was hoping we would start dating because we had things in common but I was disappointed when I found out he had a girlfriend and he stopped paying attention to me. I was now back to zero. So this Catholic brother became friends with me. One day he invited me to his church and after church we went to one of his friends place to chat. The friend them left us and I don't know what happened but we had sex with him. OMG I committed a huge sin I slept with a man whose supposed to be committed to God. I went home that day and just felt guilty next thing I received a call from him that we should meet

and talk. I needed to talk to him cause we really didn't talk about why we did that. We met and he told me that from the time I started working there he liked me and went on to tell me nice things and that really got to me. Next thing again we slept together. This things went on till I fell in love with him. He told me he can write a letter to Rome and stop so that we get married and my stupid self believed him. We started dating and I stopped feeling guilty about anything. One day he told me he was going to further studies abroad and he will back without knowing he was now going to finalize his mission as a brother. While there he completely stopped talking to me so I thought we were done. When he came back I knew the truth so I stopped entertaining him.

Time came for the government to employ teachers. I went to one of the offices to get some forms and I met this man who was one of the bosses there. He got my number and because I needed fast help I gave him my number. Two days later he called me and we met at some hidden drinking place in the outskirts of town where he told me he would like to help me get in the government fast m he went on to say he knows people who are part of selecting so since we now friends I should be assured that am now a government worker. This was very good news to my ears and its what I wanted. He told me he was married and had children and 3 grandchildren. Our friendship continued on phone and one day we planned to sleep out so I lied at home that I will be going to a friends place but yet I was going to be with that man. We went to a lodge on the outskirts of town and slept together . This man used to spoil me with everything I wanted. I was enjoying my life I had the nice expensive hair, the clothes etc. After I was picked in government I decided to start thinking twice about my life because now I wanted to start a new life but before I could even leave this big man I found out I was pregnant for him and I sure was not going to keep this baby. We looked for an abortion clinic and this doctor gave us pills of which I drank but they really didn't work I had problems on my womb and at the hospital I was cleaned and told that I may have problems with having a child in future. This was really not good news to me because I only had one child but what if when I get married and hubby wants children? I left everything to God . I left that man and was posted to a different town in Livingstone. Determined to start a new page.....to be continued

How I wasted my Life Finale

I was now in a new town, new environment and just new people. I told myself I now have to be serious and find one man to settle with because I was now now approaching 30 and my life wasn't stable. God had given me a new chance after all. This time I stayed single for a year and met this man Melvin. Melvin was a teacher like me and we were friends then we started dating this time it was just different. After a year of dating he asked me to marry him and I was happy. We got married and started staying together. I was happy I had a husband, Job and a family. We were married for 2 years but no child. Deep now my heart I knew it was me who had a problem but just telling my husband the truth was hard and he didn't even suspect I can't have a child because he found me with a child. My husband suggested we go for medical checkups and that's when he found out about me not having children but the worst thing was I also found out I was HIV positive. My life had shut down just like that. I had all the time in the world to make right decisions but I

messed up. I was now stuck without a husband and now coming to terms of my status. Life has not been east for me. While am supposed to enjoy it am here suffering because my husband left me for a side chick who got pregnant for him.my only hope now is my daughter. I regret every decision I made those times.

I decided to share my story to help someone living the life I was living. I liked using men to get things done. If I want my hair to look nice or if I want to have the latest fashion and badness is I was sleeping with them and at times without a condom which brought me to this situation I am now. The thing is when you're passing through that stage you think you above everyone who is trying to correct you you think they are jealous but truth is they love you and want what's best for you. I was a weak person especially when it comes to sex that why I had a lot of sexual partners to me I believed for a man to give me money I have to sleep with him. Money really confused me but where am I now? I still have the same money but not really enjoying It. I pray one of the many readers here changes their ways before its too late please don't be like me who wasted her youth days having blessers and sleeping around that life leads to a bad end but invest in your youth days work hard for your self and enjoy your days. Yes I blame myself for wasting the most important years of my life now am paying my karma.