I finally admitted that I was depressed and managed to cure it
Winter in Michigan has always been a challenging season for me, with its many dark days and lack of sunlight. I felt heavy, sluggish, and fatigued when I awakened. I wanted to draw the covers back over my head and get back to my comfortable sleeping position. I had a feeling something wasn't right, but he didn't seem to care. I knew I didn't want to face another arduous day outside of my sleep bubble. I was terrified, but I couldn't put my finger on why. I dragged myself into the bathroom from my bed. I couldn't decide whether I wanted to shave or shower first, so I decided to shower. Every morning, I'd have the same thoughts in my head.Would I ever be able to shake this feeling? Why was I always in such a bad mood? Maybe this is normal and I'll get over it eventually?
I was finally fully awake. I persevered despite the fact that minor activities appeared massive, tedious, and overpowering. I began my day by looking for flaws in everyone and everything but myself. I was irritable with people closest to me and didn't recognize it, so I went out the door to work.At work, I felt numb for the remainder of the day. People were talking to me and asking questions, but nothing was going through. I put on a good show on the outside so no one would see, but I was stuck within a deep dark realm, a personal hell.I had a habit of forgetting things, even if I had written them down. Because I was unhappy and fuzzy, no matter how well I planned things, it didn't seem to matter. I couldn't know where to begin because everything felt so overwhelming. When I finally got started,it seemed like I was climbing a mountain and couldn't see the summit. I had a sinking feeling or a sense that there was little hope for anything at times.No one seemed to understand or care about what I was going through. I was easily angered and enraged by anything and everyone. There were occasions when I would get panic/anxiety attacks in the middle of the night, which were not enjoyable.
My usual day was like the scene in Bill Murray's movie "Ground Hog Day," in which he had to relive the same day over and again until he got it perfect. What I eventually discovered was that I had allowed myself to fall into a condition of depression without realizing it or even acknowledging it. When I eventually admitted to myself that I was depressed and that I needed to do something, it took me a long time to figure out the best remedies through trial and error.The only one who can pull you out of despair is you, but I have to tell you that the pharmaceutical grade St. Johns Wort that I took for around 6 months was the key to my recovery. If you want to learn more about what I was doing, visit my forum where I go into further detail.
Now I'm doing fine; I have focus, desire, and energy, and I'm concerned about my own and others' well-being. I leap from my bed, eager to confront all of the challenges at hand (They are issues now, before they were monumental problems). I no longer have the emotional impulses I used to have. I'm not wearing "rose colored glasses," but I do have a clearer vision now, without the numb fuzzy sensation.
Many people will experience depression at some point in their lives, but it does not have to control their lives; there is plenty of support available. Individual responses and treatments will differ; what works for one person may not work for another. Allowing depression to govern you and become the norm will have a detrimental impact on you and others.Depression drags you down to the point that you don't feel like you have the energy to do anything, let alone battle depression. It's a vicious cycle. Many physical illnesses appear to be caused by depression, which can be overcome with treatment. It's time for you to break free from the emotional numbness and rollercoaster you've been riding yet can't remember where you've been.
It is your right to feel normal and cope with life. When individuals see others who appear to be cool and composed, they may believe they have everything under control, but this is not always the truth because many of us can put up a good show. "Depression progressively erodes your will and breaks down any attempt at your happiness for a regular existence this is not what anyone desires," says the author.
Finally, I want you to know that depressed people are very bright, kind, and sensitive individuals with much to offer the world, but they must first recognize that they are depressed.