Depression hell

I decided to commit suicide. I have no desire to keep this life anymore. At first I was proud of my father. As soon as my father found out about me, he became greedy for money and married Salman. I also blamed my mother. They played with my life. Today, when my father died, I could not go to the last show of the father who raised me. But if that were the case, I would be out of the country!

Even outside the country, people come to the country on the death of their own people. But in my case?

I opened the drawer. Puppets scattered inside the drawer. I looked at the wall, the picture of the boy on the wall. I put my hand on my stomach. I have no right to destroy another life. God did not give me the right to kill a growing child before it showed me the light of day. But I have no choice. My last decision was to commit suicide after much thought.

I took the pen out of the drawer. Page not found. I tore off the white page of the calendar hanging on the wall. At that time Sultana Apa came to my room. He looked at the pen and paper in my hand and asked,"What are these?"

I said, "I'll draw a picture, Dad. That's why I took it in hand." Sultana Apa hugged me and started crying. Told me "You were born a girl, you have to endure a lot of hardships. We have no happiness in the house of this heretic Salman. There is no happiness, sister. No one here is ours." "My father is no more, Apa, my father is no more." "Don't cry sister. I am a girl who has lost my parents. I am an orphan girl. I have no place to go in this world. Your mother is still alive. She is still there. Who am I?"

I hugged Salma tightly. Salma told you,"You have a sister. Here I am. You don't have to think I'm alone." Salma Apa passed me and said,"Wipe your eyes. Come see Muna in the evening." "Who will come to see?" "Container"

At that time mother-in-law came to my room. Shouted, "Stop crying and be naughty. Get ready. People will come to see Muna. If you see Muna's fianc এভাবেe like this, people will think we have hurt the boy's wife." Tarana Apa suddenly came out of the door and said to her mother-in-law, "Have you kept your wife happy? A girl's father died today. Didn't you let the girl see her father for the last time because of superstition?"

The mother-in-law stretched out her shoes and threw them towards Tarana Upper. Tarana, however, did not wear the upper body. Tarana apa said, "Kill me, kill me. I've had a lot of trouble in my life. Now I have peace when I die." Mother-in-law Tarana Apa heard Tarana Apa say, "I see it growing in my face. Put a rein on it, otherwise I will push my neck and say goodbye to my wife. Alakshmi!"

"Am I Alakshmi?" "Yes yes Alakshmi." Then the mother-in-law pointed at me and said, "When people come to see Muna in the evening, you will go out. Don't let these two Alakshmi go out."

Tarana apa said, "We are Alakshmi! Wow. Mother has a daughter of her own. God forbid, if a girl hears such a thing after marriage, there is no fear of God in her mind? Muna is also born as a girl!"

The mother-in-law went to Cheta. Tarana slapped her upper cheek. He whispered from his mouth, "Alakshmi, the little girl's daughter needs to be evicted ..." The mother-in-law left the room. Tarana Apa came to me and sat down. Sultana Apa Tarana told you,

"Tarana, why do you talk so much? Do you like to be insulted every day? I don't say anything because of that."

Tarana Apa Sultana Apa said, "A girl's father has died, Apa. The heretics did not let her see her father!" Sultana Apa said, "These are destiny. Fate! Sister Ray, we have no value."

Sultana Apa and Tarana Apa left the room. I was left alone. Before leaving, Sultana Apa turned on the AC. Said

"Don't turn off the AC. You stay indoors all the time. Keeping the AC off can make the body worse."

I smiled. Sultana told you,

"There was no AC in my father's house. There was love. There is AC in this house. There is no love."

"Don't we love you? Don't you love us? The three of us are poor sisters like you."

They left. I closed the door of the room. I wanted to turn off the AC. But I did not turn off. It is very hot today.

There is no one in the room. Alone. Now is the time to commit suicide. I picked up the calendar page and the pen. The hand began to tremble. My eyes became blurred. I never imagined that I would finish myself and my unborn child in this way.

I wrote there,

"Tarana Apa and Sultana Apa, I am ashamed of both of you today. I could not give your children to the world anymore. I could not keep the value of your love today. Forgive me if you can. When I came out of the house, I could not see my father for the last time. Saying goodbye. When I heard that I was going to be a mother, I was weaving a new dream inside myself. Is a child "

Today that hope was going to be fulfilled. I am going to be the mother of a boy. Yet I sat down to die with that child. No one is responsible for my death. I alone am responsible for this. I never saw my mother in a white sari. I do not know the future of my two brothers. Sultana and Tarana Apa, I could not pay any price for your love. Forgive me if you can. I heard Muna will get married. May the girl be happy. I have no grudge against him. The girls have many dreams about their husband's house in their minds. May Muna's dream come true. I pray that a boy like his brother does not come into his life.

I will go forever ....

Then I patted the veil fan. I tried to realize life for the last time. There was a glass of water on the box placed on the side of the bed. Tarana Apa also left a glass of milk. I wanted to drink milk. I drank a glass of milk with a kiss for the last time in my life. I saw myself standing in front of the mirror again. Pulling out the porch glass, I glanced at my father's tinshed rented house. A white sari is still hanging on the wire hanging in front of the house. The saree is probably my widowed mother's. How a mother feels in a widow's sari has never been seen in this birth.

Thank you.