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. My life will never be normal again. I've always thought of a normal life, but it was my biggest mistake to ask for life, my biggest mistake. Not everyone's life is normal. Leaving everything behind and just running after peace, I am the first to lose everything. What is so important!
I thought for a while, aha, there will be a small house, a family of my own. All my life I have seen my parents fighting and causing trouble. It is as if the parents have no children. They have been disturbing each other inside the house all the time and have not stopped till today. From then on, I thought, there will be a family and I will never allow my child to endure all this.
For a long time, my parents used to bother me with unnecessary things, then my father would take me out to eat at the hotel, and my mother would go to Nanu's house. (Near Nanubari, 5 minutes walk.) My three brothers and sisters never thought about what they were eating and how they were. Even at such a young age, when I saw my parents fighting, I used to tremble with fear. I was suffering from so much insecurity at that time.
My uncles and aunts all live in Dhaka. Neighboring uncles or grandfathers would come and settle the house. Things would go out of the house, everyone would have fun. I thought, they are not good ... What fun, what fun! The child will walk around in three ways, there will be no people in life, no one will look back at them ... What fun, hurray! From then on, I decided that what I really needed to do was learn how to do it right. If necessary, I will live a very simple life, but I will live in peace.
Alas, it was not known then, there is something called destiny. No matter how hard we try, we will not get more than one. All my life I have been in this fantasy that one day I will have a family of my own. I will take care of everything on my own that day! (All nonsense!) I will have a house of my own, no matter how small, but there will be no unrest. If you want more, that's it! Nothing is normal, will not be. If he survives, the day will pass in a useless imagination.
For a long time, my parents used to bother me with unnecessary things, then my father would take me out to eat at the hotel, and my mother would go to Nanu's house. (Near Nanubari, 5 minutes walk.) My three brothers and sisters never thought about what they were eating and how they were. Even at such a young age, when I saw my parents fighting, I used to tremble with fear. I was suffering from so much insecurity at that time.
My uncles and aunts all live in Dhaka. Neighboring uncles or grandfathers would come and settle the house. Things would go out of the house, everyone would have fun. I thought, they are not good ... What fun, what fun! The child will walk around in three ways, there will be no people in life, no one will look back at them ... What fun, hurray! From then on, I decided that what I really needed to do was learn how to do it right. If necessary, I will live a very simple life, but I will live in peace.
Alas, it was not known then, there is something called destiny. No matter how hard we try, we will not get more than one. All my life I have been in this fantasy that one day I will have a family of my own. I will take care of everything on my own that day! (All nonsense!) I will have a house of my own, no matter how small, but there will be no unrest. If you want more, that's it! Nothing is normal, will not be. If he survives, the day will pass in a useless imagination.
I don't have a man of my own like the other five girls, with whom I don't have to play hide and seek. When everyone arranges their family, I will hide my face from everything and escape. I will never have a doll-like girl in my stomach. I, like my girlfriends, will never see my own child grow up in my own care. I will not have anything normal.
If I survive after five or ten years, I will somehow be able to make ends meet with a small job, or I will get the house that my father gave me. I'll give it to you alone.
Maybe one day I will be lying dead in the house, after two or three days someone will smell a terrible smell, then there will be no bath, according to some, if I can perform janaza and bury the ground, goodbye --- which can still happen. Then what else is there to worry about! Huh!
Listen, I'm a little mentally ill now. So leave me a little on me. When I recover, I will see that I will behave like before. Just bear this moment. What else to do, I'm crazy!
Thanks for your valuable time ❤🤙 @Dreamer
