50 first date

I have been reading through some of my journals. I came across entries about my niece.

She was six during the time I wrote the one that this post is about. Her dad abandoned her, but a village of us helped raise her. She asked me once, “Aunt is my daddy mean mean or is he just normal mean?”
I had a couple of male friends that she loved. She would follow them around like a little shadow. One of them was doing a few projects around my house. She would just sit, watch and talk to him. She was starving for a male figure in her life.

One evening we all had dinner at my sister’s and we rented the movie 50 First Dates. I remember she got quiet as we watched it. I could tell something was swimming around in her head.

The next morning when she was dropped off she asked if she could go talk to my friend who was working out back. I watched them through my window. It looked like they were having an intense conversation and then she cried and he hugged her. I didn’t want to upset her when she came back in. She was very quiet as I drove her to school. I dropped her off and told her we would do something fun when school was over. It perked her up.

When I got back home I went outside and asked my friend what had transpired. His eyes got watery and he told me about their conversation. She told him that she was afraid her dad was going to forget about her like the Drew Barrymore character forgot about her friends and family in the movie. She asked him if he would make a few video tapes of her to send to her dad so that he would see what she looked like and not forget about her.

I was stunned. Beautiful and bright six year old year children should not have to worry about such things, but they do. We spent a lot of time over the next few months letting her know how much we loved her. We also found ways to allow her to make decisions so that she could feel and understand that she had control over many things in her life, even if her father wasn’t one of them.

My sister remarried and her new husband became the wonderful father she needed. Don’t know where her deadbeat dad is, but what a fool he was to miss out on the life of the child he abandoned. She is fearless and fabulous.

“Though she be but little, she is fierce.” – Shakespeare