Love languge; Act of Service

I despise someone who loves me too much.

People might find this uncommon, well I can't blame you. You might find me toxic because of the first line of the article. But right now, I hope to whoever spares time on this will understand that we love in different ways, and we accept it in different ways.

I grew up where I needed to earn what I want and what I need. At an early age, I helped my family with our business, I was introduced to an environment where the only children I can see my age are only my cousin and they come once in a while. I am being companioned with our laborers, and I get influence in working. My parents did not treat us differently when it comes to working, I and my brother received the same wage as our workers. I have fewer memories with my parents when I was a child and the majority of it is of them fighting.

The experience I got from my childhood influenced me a lot when I grew up. The past might not determine what we will be but we cannot deny the fact that we are all products of our past experiences. So, the way I interact with people, as well as build relationships, is quite unique, I guess.

I despise it when you're too easy to get.

Before I can continue, please be reminded that this article is all about me. It might sound narcissistic but I hope in this article you can learn something about individuality. So, I happened not like people who give their trust right away but ironically I get attached to them, and it makes me feel responsible for protecting them. I hate watching them being hurt because they trusted the wrong people. I hated their innocence because it makes me anxious about possibilities, like, what if I unintentionally hurt them? My heart can't handle that.

I despise you for being too comfortable with me.

I don't like it. People might find it pleasant when someone is comfortable with them. I just don't. Because it makes me feel furious about losing that person. It makes my energy drain being with the same person every day or if that person keeps on tailing on me. I am not a consistent person in terms of conversation. There will be times I'll talk to you in days and get lost contact in the next weeks. I don't like it when people get comfortable with me because I cannot be consistent with them.

Lastly, I despise people who love me too much.

Yes, I hate it. I don't like it when I am always being comforted when I am down, I hated it when someone brings me flowers every day, I hated it when you consistently tell me you love me, I hate it when you always pay the bills, and I hate it when you love me too much that you don't spare my part.

To be honest, this may sound toxic but I liked it more when I am like less, I like it more when I am love less, I like it more someone cares for me less -with the background story of my childhood above you can see I don't get things freely. It's unnatural for me to get something that I did not earn.

This is the reason I despise being loved too much because they don't let me earn their trust, their love, their kindness, and they only want to love me and have no interest in accepting my love in return. I felt disrespected.

There are people who only accept love in the ways they want to accept it but love does not goes that way. We have a different love language, and mine is an act of service.

-WriterJo