When It Hurts So Bad

I've written so many poems about you. Many poems I have written are what make me very good. I've written a lot of poems because I don't understand you, because I don't know where to turn, It is one of those poems?

In recent weeks, it seems like there's been a huge space between us. I feel like you have a long way to go. As if all of us had suddenly disappeared, it's as if you've suddenly forgotten that I'm part of your life too. It was another shocking event because I knew I had done nothing. I know I tried to be just like we used to be. I know I will not appear, I will never appear.

One day, I just realized that you meant all that. you meant to be cold. you meant to ignore me. I don't know what I should feel after I find out, annoying? angry? hurt? I do not know. You look like a fool to me. You make me worthless. You just disturbed my thinking. This is one of those times when you want to make a claim. This is one of those times when you notice. This is one of those times when you want to, see me for real.

But don't you understand, I'm tired or, don't be mistaken in understanding it. I'm not tired of you, I'm not tired of giving you time, I'm not tired of cuddling you. I'm tired of guessing what you really want. I'm tired because we don't seem to understand anymore. I'm tired because no matter what intellect I do, I'm still struggling.

Sometimes, I just have nothing to ask you, sometimes, just because I want to be with you. I don't even know where to go. I didn't know what to do. I don't know if I will continue to invite you. I don't know if I will continue to love you. Hopefully, at least once be clear. Hopefully, at least once, be true to your feelings. I wish, at least once, 'don't beat me. Hopefully, at least once, even once, you'll love me.