Questioning my mind

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3 years ago

I wanted to start my poem with a question, "why did you leave me?" is it because of my tendency to misunderstand? because of my appearance not beauty? why are you leaving me? why do you prefer to leave? why do you forget your promises? why did you turn aside?

Dear, please answer and do not be angry, if I ask you a question why, I still do not accept the pain, you answer, it may be sweet. I cannot remove you from my heart and mind, and fearing that your departure may be repeated, I entrust my heart to another person, rather than believing your words again.

With every movement of the clock's hand, with every touch of the breeze, at every glance of the king, it seemed to me that my heart was still wandering. Over and over in my mind, did I make the right decision? Should others please try? I'm sorry I didn't regret it. I tried, trusting in words that convey momentary happiness, I sent out promises of "just you and no one else", but I was wrong, you were always the same, you were just persevering.

Dear, I want you to remember, in the knowledge that I will be forgotten, but I admit, sometimes you do not lose my mind, yes it's wrong, but can you blame me? why do I still feel the pain of your departure? why can't I leave you alone? why in every hour of my sadness, you, you are the cause of my joy?

My pillow was wet with tears, my eyes were full of swelling, I knew that I was no longer a captain, so I could learn to give up. Dear, I have no right to say that you will come back, as I have sometimes thrown you away, so I wish that upon your return, at the same time I would gradually settle down.

Forgive because I no longer feel right, forgive because I know we are done, forgive words that cannot be repeated, forgive, forgive my choice before leaving you and never looking back. I felt so much sadness, so much anger because I didn't forget you, but in times of pain, you would fall back.

I was overjoyed, my heart was full of your flowery words, my heart was pounding, my heart was pounding. But how long has there been a "us"? I cannot eliminate the fear of my heart and mind, I cannot take away my feelings of running, that "we" should be replaced by a "you"

How long will you love me again and how long will you hold me back? or will cold water kill it again? I'm afraid of the unexpected, that your mind might change, I'm afraid of the possible reasons, the reason for your possible departure.

Because you sometimes put me aside, sometimes you treat me like useless, sometimes you wet my cheeks, and sometimes you even break my heart with your words. I'm afraid my dear, I want to trust your words again, sorry, but I'm scared, I'm afraid you'll leave me again.

I hope in our past experience, stay by my side and not leave, because you are my strength, but you are my weakness. You, quenching my thirst, you, giving direction to my wild heart, you, the reason why the heart out of the window of the soul looks out, you, it inspires me daily.

I wish that by the time the weather changed, the direction of the waves would change, everything would turn in their proper position and direction, even the birds would be different, by the time I asked you again. , you will answer one thing, "do not be afraid, I love you"

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