The little experience I had with some friends sometime ago has taught me that some friendships are not just worth it, although, I might have been the reason why some didn't work out.
I was so excited when I found out I was resuming to a new school. All I could think about was the way I would make new friends maybe even a long time friend but at last, I ended up being dissapointed. If there is one thing I have learnt over the years it's that friendship is not a do or die affair, you will definitely enjoy your life if you stay alone, although, you'll surely miss having friends.
As I waved to my parents for the last time before walking into the dorm, my lips curved upward because I was so extremely happy about meeting someone new but my lips soon curved downward when even the first person I greeted snubbed me, I was extremely shocked, this wasn't what I expected. Since we were both new, i decided to justify her that maybe she has a thing with strangers . I tagged along for the rest of the day thinking she will reconsider being friends but the only thing she did was to scream "leave me alone" at my face and up untill today, we are still not friends even though we still get to say hi to each other.
Apart from her, I made other friends. In fact, I ended up having a best friend but me having friends only happened because we were all in the same clique with so we did everything together and ended up being friends . At that time, I had not figured out that "Greatness is a lonely realm" meaning once people find out that you are positivity unique, they will began to distance themselves until you are left with nobody but your greatness.
We bonded well during our first and second year, it was almost as if we were inseparable expecially the friendship between I and my best friend. Anytime I came home, I was always anxious and eager about resumption because of the people i'll get to see. It was like I had a life I always wanted but little did I know that the friendships weren't going to last.
After what felt like three or four years, this same people started withdrawing themselves from me little by little including my best friend. For like a year, I still believed she was my best friend, but to her, she was already long gone and had found another best friend. At some points, I had to let go off it but that was only when I figured out that they had all realized that I was unique and was out of their league and that was why they deserted me. At first, I couldn't understand why they did that, it's not like I changed to someone evil or wicked but then someone made me understand why they did so. She said they did so because I inhabited good qualities which made me outstanding amidst them making them jealous and envious towards me.
I still remember the night they teamed up and lied against me. We had all just gotten back from canteen and me being me, I was getting ready to sleep when a group of people stormed into the room, came straight to my front and accused ne of stealing someone's dress, I was more or less as if they planned it. Since at that time I had no friends, I had no one to defend me and i couldn't stand against them alone but nevertheless, I stood my ground that night and told them Ididn't do it. Later that night, it occured to me that it I was better off without friends. If I hadn't started this friendship thing at first, I wouldn't be in this situation right now.
Even after all this, I didnt give up on friendship. I went further to look for friends with the same mindset. I thought that if I had friends with the same mindset, we would understand each other better and maybe cases like jealousy and envy wouldn't occur. Luckily for me, I found what i was looking for.
In matter of months, I became acquainted with them and after like a year I got myself a best friend. They even influenced my life positivity, my life became more interesting with them and it was easier for me to move on than I expected but nevertheless, people hated and despised us, why? because we were different from them but this didn't bother me because I was with people who loved me for who I am and supported anything I did.
My new best friend was more or less my sister, we loved each other so much that we didn't even mind sharing our secrets with each other. Although, we fight a lot, but I mean, the friendship was worth it. She knew me both inside and outside and vice versa. With this my new friends, I became more intelligent because they were all intelligent but even as at that, they will always be cases of intimidation when everyone is intelligent because everyone would want to claim to be more intelligent but that wasn't really the case for me, although, it was only a matter of time before this intimidation started to get to me.
As i had a female best friend, I also had two male friends I was very close to but I respected my female Best friend the most. At this point, I was very happy because I had gotten all I ever wished for. After what felt like a year of friendship, something happened.
We were asked resumed back to school and me being me, I was excited to resume because I was going to meet my friends expecially my best friend. On getting to school that day, I ran towards my best friend room but she wasn't around so I left her room and went back to mine after deciding to come back later.
I went back after some hours but the only thing I got was a cold shoulder which I didn't count as anything. I just decided maybe she was in a bad mood but then she suddenly started withdrawing from me little by little and giving other people more attention. I decided to confront her and tell her how I felt and trust me, it took a lot of courage.
It was on a sunday morning, I walked to her room and told her that "she wasn't giving me enough and that I was starting to think that the friendship was now one sided and no longer mutual" but the only thing she said was that "I was just like the other friends she has had and that she thought I was here to stay" before storming off. I immediately blamed myself for my stupid act and decided to beg her the following day but i knew deep down that I was right.
After begging her, we returned to being best friends but I can assure you that it didn't last because she didn't change and so I was forced to put an end to the friendship myself. I still had my two male friends whom I got closer to after the whole incident.
They even became more useful to me than all the past female friends I have had but soon enough the friendship with one of them was lost because I figured he doesn't fancy friendship like i do and it was beginning to be one sided.
Right now, I have just one friend and even that friendship is beginning to shake, am not so sure it's as strong as before.
Recently, as I thought about friendship, I decided to write about it and so i picked my pen and wrote:
FRIENDS
Friends! Friend!! Friends!!!
Found myself in the middle of friends
But was soon deserted
When they found out I was different .
Went further to look for more friends
With the same mindset
But was also deserted
Because they found out i was the greatest
Even among the best
After all, all they wanted
Was to feast on my intelligence .
Laying down on my bed
and thinking about what to do next
a voice reached out to my mindset
"why do you need friends?
after all, Greatness is a lonely realm"
Reminscing on the voice,
I said to myself
Oh friends!
They could be best
But they could also your end
After writing this, I made decision to stay alone and never force myself into any friendship and if anyone is willing to be my friend, you will have a lot of work to do before I can call you my friend.
In conclusion, if friendship doesn't work out, STAY ALONE.