The society today had indeed set that having someone love you romantically is the best. But that's wrong. Having to love yourself as you are and completely IS THE BEST. No romantic relationship can ever compare to the happiness and contentment brought by self love. It is hard, especially if you think you have so many flaws. But, here are some things to reflect that may help us on how we can appreciate ourselves more despite the society's standard on everything:
#1. Remember that you are made to be unique.
— You are not made to look like others, as God made you to be a completely different person with a different personality. Just because you are different, doesn't mean that you are not pretty. Beauty is not limited to physical attributes, but rather on attitudes and mindset.
#2. We are all perfectly imperfect.
— The term 'perfect' and 'imperfect' are just terms made by the society to support their basis of physical characteristics as the definition of beauty. Each of us has our very own flaws— but it's up to us on how we deal with it, how we accept it, and how we can use it in our advantage. It is our flaws that makes us special. God never created anyone perfectly, as you won't be special if there is another person that is the exactly the same as you.
#3. Other people worked hard for what they have — and didn't just wish for it.
— You might be thinking sometimes that you know people who seems to be perfect and far from what you are. Well the thing is, they worked hard to achieve what they have. You don't know what kind of struggles they had experienced to reach where they are today, and it will be disrespectful to them if you feel jealous on their trait that they worked hard on while you just kept on wishing for a miracle. If you want to develop yourself, then act. Do what needs to be done. Discipline yourself and stay away from things that wanders your mind off your goal. Being jealous on other's characteristics won't develop yourself, instead, it will only make you lose confidence more.
#4. You won't glow if you don't grow.
— Acceptance is the first key on loving yourself. Remember that flowers bloom without minding those around it. Investing time in ourselves is the best possible way to grow from the inside and be contented with what we have.
#5. Your mindset sets everything.
— If you still have struggles on loving yourself, try changing your perspective in what you have. Try thinking more of the attributes you have, rather than being sad over what you don't. A positive mind, a positive life, they say. Thinking too much on what you don't have will get you nowhere. Instead, think that the time you spend on overthinking on your flaws will be better if you reserve that time to develop yourself.
#6. It's okay to take your time.
— Healing takes time. Slowly, but surely, you will be able to accept yourself and everything about you one by one. And then, one day, you will look back on the time that you felt low, and be grateful that you kept on progressing to be what you are that day.
#7. Never compare. Ever.
— Comparing yourself to others is the biggest no. We are all made individually, so we would all have different assets and liabilities in terms of our attributes. By comparing, you only make yourself more sad and have another session of overthinking, which is not good at all. Instead of comparing yourself to others, try comparing yourself to the 'you' a year ago. You will then see that you were able to be better, and will be better for the next years to come.
#8. Originals are worth much more than a copy
— Don't settle in being a copy of someone else. If you do, then you won't be special. Our own uniqueness distinguishes us from someone else, but if you just decide to copy someone else, your self value will definitely go down. The best way to accept and love yourself is accepting and being yourself all the time.
#9. The past is done, and you can't change it.
— Whatever that's happened at the past leave it at that. It is not within your control. Being sad over something that happened a long time ago is okay, but never get to the point that your past affects your present, as your future self needs you the most.
#10. Remember who's in control.
— It is not you, it is not them, but God. Remember always that if things go out of what you want, it is God's will that is happening. And if that happens, be rest assured as you are going the right way. God has planned our life for us, our struggles, our success, and even our own lovelife. We just have to trust Him. Surrender all your worries to Him, and you will be healed. If you have trust in Him, accepting yourself is more possible, as you know God is always at your back and supporting you always.