When I was younger I was very naive and innocent that give other people guts to bully me as they've seen my innocence. In this world when people see your soft spot they will strike you on that part. People will take advantage on your weakness and sometimes they'll block mails you with the things that you fear the most.

That is why, we should be careful in showing our weakness not all who see it are sympathisers, not all who listens care but rather a wolf that was cloth like a sheep and always remember a devil was once an angel.

The gut instinct was a great gift to me

During my younger years I was always one of the bullies target, as I grew older my gut instinct sprouts from nowhere. Maybe the heavens blessed me with guts so I can discern whom I should trust and whom I should not, so I will not suffer repeatedly from bullying and betrayal.

Even with my husband, I know if he is doing something wrong behind my back because my gut feeling will always haunts me even in my dreams.

I don't judge people and I don't give first impression but when my gut feeling tells me “I don't like this person”, no matter how I tried to like the person it will never happen.

I don't give first impression to people I first met, it's because I don't really pay attention to other people unless it's necessary. I am the kind who doesn't mind other people's business as long as it doesn't concern me.

But when my gut feeling has a sour sensing on the first encounter and tells me “this person can't be trusted” I will never like the person no matter how I force myself to, I can be civil, talk nicely and I can even hang out with those people, I can even treat them, praise them when they're successful and support them but I will never open up myself because my gut tells me not to trust that person. I will always have some restrictions what to tell and what not to tell on that person.

Some might think it's paranoia.

At some point people who are advance thinker usually tagged as paranoid, as they can draw future situation in their minds but in my case there are several times that my paranoia was right as my gut said so.

I am always a tricky person, as there are times my guts will tell me to show off a little weakness to see who are true and who are not.

There were times that I am melodramatic, just to see who really cares and who will bite. Once the person show their true colours towards me, I don't confront them. I just act like nothing happened.

Some of those people thought, they can blackmail me with the weakness they have found but they were wrong because once I let out things, that means I am already over it so people cannot used it against me. When things that used to hurt you doesn't affect you anymore it means you are over it, no matter how people use it against you it will never penetrate anymore as you already found the antidote.

Along my though journey in life, I have developed different characters as my shield and armor to deal each of every situation I am dealing with. One of it is the “ignore shield” whenever this character is on, no matter how you attack or back stab me it will never affect me anymore. Once I decided not to give a damn on a certain situations that's the end of the story, then I'll move forward as if nothing happened.

This is what I like the most with my guts, it tells me when to care and when to stop caring.

I call this guts, the gift as it helps me to determine fake and not. If it fails sometimes, it only means I didn't pay attention to that certain person or situation.

Disclaimer: This is my mom's POV..

Hello There!

It's been a long time read.cash people that I posted in here, I was very busy with studies that I forgot to visit here.

I don't know if you guys still remember me. Anyhow, I'd like to have a comeback hopefully it's not yet late to do that.

Image: Unsplash via @freespace