Once there was a husband who believed he was the boss and he devised a plan to prove it. Every day he gave his wife a beating. Day after day, this woman wailed and wept. Then, when she thought she could endure it no longer, she poured out her heart to her sympathetic neighbor who gave her instant advice.
"Surprise him!" she counseled. "Keep a stick by the door, and before he hits you, you hit him!" "Oh, no," cried the wife, "if I try that, he'll kill me." "Coward!" came the reply, you'll be beaten to death anyway."
Well, after some contemplation, the battered woman decided to take the chance. With dread she prepared her stick, and with deep anxiety she put it in its place. As the husband heralded his approach, she tremblingly took up her position, and as soon as he opened the door, she raised the stick!
The Boss
Surprised and terror-stricken, the man turned around and started to run. Surprised and delighted, the woman raced after him. Round and round the house they ran, while the neighbor who offered the advice watched the excitement with delight.
Getting tired of running, the husband raced into the house with the wife in hot pursuit. Through the living room and into the bedroom he ran. Then, in desperation, he crawled under the bed. When the woman realized that she was in total control, her courage knew no bounds. Poking at him with her stick as he crouched under the bed, she uttered her threat. "Come out mister, come out! Come out so I can beat you up!I've been beaten too long; now let me do the beating."
Finally, the husband found his voice. Opening his mouth he shouted, "Woman, let me tell you something. Im the boss in this house, and what I say is law! You say 'Come out, but remember, I'm the boss! And I say, I'm not coming out!" Well, what a boss!
It is important to observe that nowhere in the Bible is the husband called "boss." The Scripture says that the husband is the head. "For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church" (Ephesians 5:23). What are the roles of this head of the home?
Roles of the Husband
Provider First of all, he is the provider. To begin with, he provides money. While in somehomes both partners are earners, catering for the financial needs of the family is primarily the responsibility of the husband. The Scripture commends such ity provision, condemning the one who neglects it as being "worse than an infidel" (1 Timothy 5:8, Kv).
Then he provides protection. As the earthly savior of the family (Ephesians 5:23), he supplies safety. But even more than outward safety, the family needs a sense of inner security. So, the head provides a sense of belonging, the security of a commitment. He also provides leadership, a sense of direction. Of Abraham God said, "He will direct his children and his household after him to keep the wav the way of the LORD" Genesis 18:1 . In short, as head of the home, the husband provides an environment that is conducive to the growth and development of his wife and children.
Greater Lover
Not only is he the head in Greater Lover his family, the husband is also head nistering to the material needs of in catering to the intimate, emotional needs of the home. And the supreme need of every tamily is love.
In the eyes ot humanity, the wife is the sweeter lover, but in the eyes of divinity, the husband is to be the reater lover! "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church" (Ephesians 5:25). And because he loves his wife, the husband will never abuse her. He will not inflict physical or emotional abuse.
Even when the Church disgraces Christ, He never abuses her. Why? Because He loves her, because she is a part of Him, His own body (verse 30). Whenever she hurts, He hurts. "In all their distress he too was distressed" (Isaiah 63:9). The apostle Paul stated it this way: "After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves ns wife loves himself" (Ephesians 5:28-29)
The husband's love should be stronger because he represents Christ. While the church's love for Christ's is great, Christ love for His church is greater, sweeter, fuller, richer! It is a self - denying, self- abnegating, self-sacrificing love, a love that was willing to give up life itself for the one He loved. Using this divine example, the Scripture says, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (verse 25).
Chief Priest
But the role of the head rises even higher. Not only does he provide for the material and emotional needs; he also makes provision for the spiritual needs of his household. He is not only a provider and lover; he is also an intercessor.
Before Calvary, there was an intricate system of worship centered in the sanctuary. There was the ark, the mercy seat, and the Shekinah. There was the table of shewbread, the golden candlestick, the altar, and the incense. There was the sacrifice, the priests, and the high priest.
But at the cross when Jesus uttered the words, "It is finished," and the veil of the temple tore from top to bottom, that whole system collapsed. Today, we need neither candlestick nor shewbread, altar nor incense, sacrifice nor priest. Christ is our High Priest, and every believer is His own priest. "You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood" (1 Peter 2:9). Every person can approach the throne of grace directly and confidently (Hebrews 4:16). Therefore, in the family of God, the wife is a priestess and each child is a priest or priestess. And as the head of the home, the husband is the chief priest. Morning by morning, and evening by evening, he gathers the family of priests to offer their sacrifice of prayer and praise.
To put it differently, the the husband should serve as spiritual leader of the home, gathering his family for morning and evening worship. As they sing, as they study the Word of God, and as they pray, they are erecting the family altar. This is not a literal altar of wood, marble or stone; it is a spiritual altar of study, prayer, and praise. As the head of the home, the husband empowers his house to be a house of God. As chief priest, he enables his family to be a family of God.
Roles of the Wife
Equality
If such are the roles of the husband, then what are the roles of the wife? While the husband is the head, the wife is the heart! For are not these the two centers of control for the body? In a sinless world, God made the first woman by taking a rib from the man (Genesis 2:21, 22). He did not use a bone from Adam's head, nora bone from his foot, but a bone from his side. The divine plan was that husband and wife should stand as equals, side by side. It is interesting to observe that in God's desire to create humanity "in His own image," He found it impossible to produce His qualities and abilities in a single human being. So, He distributed these between male and female. It is only when "male and female" are com- bined that we get a picture of the "image of God" (Genesis 1:27). Consequently, it is when the perspectives of husband and are consolidated that a couple wi egins to comprehend the will of God.
Since both spouses are made in His image, with brains to think and minds to create, both should enter the problem-solving center with the freedom to do analysis, share ideas, and offer solutions to the issues confronting the family. The thoughts of one should be regarded as being as worthwhile and as valid as the thought of the other. Discussion should begin with two open minds, each ready to listen actively and honestly to the submissions of the other, and dialogue should close with a choice of the better idea, regardless of which partner proposed it.
The principle of mutual submission is enunciated by the apostle Paul in his famous marriage treatise of Ephesians 5. Too many people reading this counsel to couples start with verse 22 "Wives, submit." Rather, we should begin with verse 21, "Submit to one another." Thať's where couples should start. Each partner should be willing to submit to the other: husband to wife and wife to husband. It is only when we fail at verse 21 that we need verse 22! And why should we ever fail?
Submission
But in a sinful world, the couple ideal. Foreseeing this, God nciated Sometimes fail to reach the divin the family. This plan, which was first a prescription for preventing chaos declared in Genesis 3:16, was repeare by the apostle Paul in Ephesians 5:22 "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord." When we fail to reach the ideal of "sideship," the concept of "headship" becomes operative.
Unfortunately, through the centuries men have prostituted this provision of submission, changing it into a yoke of subjugation. Consequently, women have been dominated, deprived, and demoralized. In the philosophy of Christianity, the wite is never to be depreciated; she is to be respected and honored (1 Peter 3:7).
It is important to recognize that the submission enunciated in Ephesians 5:22 is not designed to be operational to life; it is only functional within marriage. It does not dictate the status of women in society.It does not teach that all women should be subjected to all men. The submission is limited to one's "own husband."
The Gospel seeks to destroy the myth of the inferiority of women. It magnifies the principle of the equality of the sexes. It proclaims that in the sight of God, and at the foot of the cross, "there is neither male nor female for you are all one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:28). It is also vital to observe that the thrust of Ephesians 5:22 was designed to function within a framework of the love of verse 25. Since the husband loves his wife so deeply that he is willing to die for her, she can dare to trust him!
Moreover, this submission is never to be commanded by the husband. Rather, it is to be volunteered by the wife. And whenever this occurs, there are three options. One, he can resolve the issue his way; two, he can resolve it her way; three, they can meet halfway.
Beauty
While it is the honor of the husband to provide security, it is the privilege of the wife to supply grace and beauty. She does so in the care she gives to the appearance of the home, making it an earthly paradise. It may be modest and simple, yet it can be beautiful to the family and attractive to the angels. But beyond the beauty of her home, it is her honor to display the beauty of her person. By her cheer fulness, her dress and deportment, her virtues and her character, she can create a picture of peace, a sense of dignity, a spirit of contentment, and an atmosphere of purity.
A woman's true beauty comes from within. The apostle Peter tells Christian wives that even unbelieving husbands "may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence" (1 Peter 3:1, 2) and beautiful lives of their spouses. Then he describes this inner beauty.
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight" (verses 3, 4).
Triangle
So, who is the boss? In the family of God, there is no boss. The husband is the head, and the wife is the heart, and the head and the heart must work together. The husband "must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband" (Ephesians 5:33). There is no boss, but there is a Lord. A psalm of the family begins like this: "Unless the LoRD builds the house, its builders labor in vain" (Psalm 127:1). There should be no boss, but there should be a Master, the Lord Jesus. Without Him, husband and wife form only an angle, and the devil with his angels enter causing chaos and confusion. But when Christ is invited, He completes the triangle, and the devil is shut out.
Christ is the Third Party needed for the success of every marriage. And when He comes, He comes with His Spirit to bring the fragrance of heaven. When He comes, He comes with His angels to bring love and joy and peace to make each home be- come a little bit of heaven. But He never comes without our invitation.
The Rainbow
The storm abated, the fury ceased, and the tempest was over And God said to the father of the family, "Come out of the ark, you and yOur wife and vour sons and the wives" (Genesis 8:15). As Noah and his family gazed upon the frightful Scene, they beheld the horrible spectacle of rugged mountains, ugly skeletons, empty countryside. They face that catastrophic tragedy no house, no jobs, no crops! What indescribable disaster!
And what did they do? "So Noah came out, together with his sons and his wife and his sons' wives..Thes Noah built an altar to the Lord and he sacrifice burnt offerings on it (verses 18-20). In our imagination, let us watch them as they gather around that family altar-father, mother, sons and daughters-in-law- and hear them singing together, praying together, praising together.
Suddenly, they see the gorgeous colors of God's rainbow. Softly, they feel the peace of God's protection. Solemnly, they hear God's precious words of promise, "Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember" (Genesis 9:16). Silently, fear gives way to faith. They could face the future with confidence.
Today, the scene might be frightful at home. Maybe there is no house, no job, no food; perhaps no love, no joy, no peace. But if we wil kneel together and pray together, confessing to each other, forgiving one another, when we look uP, we too will see the colors of God's rainbow. We'll feel the peace of God's protection. We'll hear God's preciou1s words of promise, "Don't be afraid, for I am with you. I will take care of you, for I still love you." We too, can face the future with confidence.
Let's have a coffee
Hari
Blessings