People are different. And because this is so, we often perceive the same things differently. There are three primary modes of perception. Some people are visual and they are influenced most by what they see. Others are auditory and these are influenced most by what they hear. Still others are kinesthetic and they are impressed most by what they feel. While it is true that usually people operate on all three levels, in the experience of most persons, one mode is dominant.
Now, how does this apply to love? Different people express their love in different ways, and different persons desire to be loved in different ways.
Illustration
The visual man adores his wife in attractive attire, while the visual woman delights in the presence of her husband and keeps her home immaculate in her effort to make him happy. The auditory woman is uncomfortable if her husband is silent and she wants him to keep talking. The auditory man enjoys background music when he is making love. The kinesthetic man wants to hold his wife's hand when they are taking a walk, and the kinesthetic woman needs her mate to cuddle her continually. Different people want to be loved ditterently.
One of the 66 books of the Bible is a beautiful love song. In its lines, love is displayed in intimate terms. As Solomon and his Shunamite bride reveal inner dimensions of their love affair, the husband asks his wife for a visual expression of her love. "Let me see your face,.for..your face is lovely:" Simultaneously, he appeals to her for an auditory revelation. "Let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet" (Sorng of Solomon 2:14, NKJv).
On the other hand, what the wite enjoys is her husband's expression of his love to her in a kinesthetic way She says with deep satisfaction, "His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me" (5ong of Solomon 2:6). Later on, she repeats her joy using the exact words in Song of Solomon 8:3. In ancient times and modern times alike, different persons prefer different expressions of love.
If my spouse is different from me, but I expect my mate to behave like me, we will have problems perpetually. Let us illustrate this with a visual wife and a kinesthetic husband. Returning home from a stressful day's work, he meets his wife at the door. The visual woman is happy to see him, but for this man, seeing is not enough; feeling is loving. He grabs her into his arms to kiss her but she is not responsive, and he becomes not only concerned, but irritated.
Relieved to be in the comfort of his own home, this husband throws down his coat, kicks off his shoes, and rests his foot on the table. "It feels good to be home" he muses, unmindful of his mate's house keeping, and totally unaware of her rearranging their living room! When his visual wife surveys the scene, she becomes frantic and they have their second unpleasant encounter.
It is bedtime, and the husband reaches over to hug his spouse. Sex or no sex, he wants to cuddle her .But she does not want to be cuddled. She cares for his presence, not his romance. So, she moves over to the other side of the bed, and the third battle of the evening begins!
Solution
Here are two people who love each other, but they are ever in conflict with one another because they are different one from the other. What is the solution to such a problem?
First, identify your partner. Is he visual, auditory, kinesthetic? Is she a seeing, hearing, or feeling person? How can one know? By listening to speech. Visual people tend to say I1 see it." "That's clear to me." Auditory persons like to say "I hear you." "That sounds good to me." Kinesthetic people often say, "I feel we should do that." But even more important than what one says, what one does. A wise spouse will watch behavior and observe actions and reactions, taking time to analyze the partner. Examination is the key to identification.
Second, accept your spouse's difference. The human tendency is reject that difference. Some people tryto wish it away, longing and hopin for a change in the behavior of their partner. Other people try to work it away by putting pressure on the spouse to change. Such attempts usually end in failure. It is important for us to remember that individuality is a precious gift from God (Psalm 139:16), and it should be respected. We should also keep in mind that force is evil and its source is Satan. Instead of rejecting our spouses differences, we should accept them. Instead of working against them, work with them.
God, the Model Lover, shows His in different ways. When ministering unchanging love to different persons looked straight at him and said, "Look to the man crippled from birth, Peter healing in that look-a visual dy- at us" (Acts 3:4). There was love and namic! When giving gloving care to the nan with the withered hand, Jesus said to the man, "Stretch out your hand" (Matthew 12:13). There was love and healing in Hisvoice-an auditory dynamic! When showing caring concern for the man blind from birth, Christ "anointed the eyes of the blind man with the clay" (John 9:6, NKJV) There was love and healing in His touch-a kinesthetic dynamic! If God ministers His love to different people in different ways, we should learn to do the same.
Third, practice the Agape Principle. The Greeks used different words for love, and the highest form of love was expressed in the word "agape." This is the word used to describe God's self-sacrificing love for us, and it reveals the quality of love that is necessary in a successful marriage relationship. Love your partner better than yourself. This principle says: Satisfy your spouse's desires above your own. It is the philosophy stated in Romans 15:1-3, NKJv, "We then who are strong ought to bear with the scruples of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbo..for even Christ did not please Himself."
When we apply this Agape Principle, the kinesthetic husband works at pleasing his seeing wife more than his feeling self, and the visual wife works at pleasing her husband more than her seeing selt. Now, as each one moves across the domestic battlefield to stand on the side of the other, they must meet one another halfway or more, so that the wife will accept her husband's cuddling sometimes-and the husband will keep his foot off the table sometimes. Thus, in the experience of each partner, the meeting of the "second self" with the "first self" causes the two selves to become one. And in the embrace of their love, there is peace.
These are three keys to the heart: the seeing key, the hearing key, and the feeling key. Which is the right key to your spouse's affection?That depends on who your partner is. First, identify your partner. Next, accept your partner as he or she is. Then use the Agape Principle putting your spouse's desires above your own.
The Reunion
As with the earthly lover, so with the heavenly. In a literal love aftai, you can see her, hear her, feel her. In a spiritual love story, one day the heavens will blaze with splendor, and Jesus will come back for all who love Him. We will see Him, we will hear Him, we will feel His power and His love! That will be the greatest day of our lives because we will be meeting the greatest Lover of all time-Christ Jesus. His love for us is stronger than the love of any husband, and we richer than the love of any wife. Before His ascension, He made a promise, "I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come.again and receive you to My that where I am, here you may be (John 14:2,3, NKJV). When He appe als in all His majesty, His people will us all their senses to lavish their on Him. On that glorious day love will see Hin we will hear Him, will feel Him, and we wil go to live with Him forever.
Second coming of Christ is not a wish. It is a certainty! It is referred to in the Scripture som 2,000 times! The psalmist prophesied it: "Our God shall come, and shall not keep silence: a fire shall devour devour before him, and it shall be very tem pestuous around him (Psalm 503, KJv). Paul proclaimed it: "For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God" (1 Thessalonians 4:16, KV) Peter preached it: "But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night...the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements hall melt with fervent heat (2 Peter KV). The angels affirmed it: This same neJesus,.. will come back in shall melt 3:10 KJV). have seen him go the same way you ha n" (Acts 1:11). And above back (John 14:3). Christ always into heaven it: I will come all, Jesus promised speaks the truth. He always keeps His promise.
Signs
This Second Advent of Jesus is Signs not far away. When the curious disciples asked tor signs, the Savior granted their desire. His answer is recorded in Matthew 24 and Luke 21. Other scriptures also describe these last-day events.
There are signs in the physical world such as "famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes" [Matthew 24:7, KJV). While in 1980 there was an estimated 450 million hungry people, it is projected that by the year 2000 this figure could reach 750 million! And before one pestilence is vanquished, a new one arises. While in 1993 there was an estimated 11 million cases of AIDS, that figure IS projected to escalate to 40 million by the turn of the century!
Christ told of signs in the religious and social order. On one hand, "this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come" (verse 14). On the other hand, however, there will be "the increase of wickedness" and the decline of love"the love most will grow cold" (verse 12). This decay of love was also highlighted by the apostle Paul. It affects love for God as people become "lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God" (2 Timothy 3:4). It also impacts upon love for humanity and love for the family, for people become "disobedient to their parents, ungrateful,.. Without love, unforgiving,...without self-control, brutal" (verses 2, 3). Such ills of sOCiety are evidence of "the last days" (verse 1).
Then, there are signs in the financial world. Shrinking economics are the order of the day, and some leaders are calling for a new economic order. And as with nations, so with individuals: the rich are becoming richer, and the poor are be- coming poorer. Scripture portrays the wanton extravagance of the rich, and the helpless cries of the poor, with judgment for the oppressor and reward for the oppressed at the coming of the Lord (James 5:1-7). Then it reminds us that these economic problems are signs that the Lord's coming is near" (verse 8).
Jesus told of the political signs of nation against nation and kingdom against kingdom (Luke 21:10). Foreseeing the complicated political intrigue, the military bat- tles, the threats of chemical and nuclear warfare, he prophesied that "men will faint from terror, apprehensive of what is coming in the world," and He declared, "When these things begin to take place, stand up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near." Then He pictured that redemption time. "At that time they shall see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with power and great glory" (verses 26, 27, 28).
On one hand, these signs tell us that the Advent is imminent. But on the other hand, we cannot know the time of Christ's appearing "Therefore keep watch, becruse you do not know on what day your Lord will come." Our duty is to "be ready" (Matthew 24:42, 44).
See Him! Hear Him! Feel Him!
The second coming of Christ will not be a secret rapture. It will be a visible appear ing, for all shall see Him. Jesus warned that "it anyone says to you, Look, here is the Christ!" or, There he is!' do not believe it." Why? Because His coming will not be a secret affair seen only by some. It will be visible as the lightning which comes from the east and flashes to the west (verses 23, 27). "Look, he is coming with the clouds, and every eye will see him" (Revelation 1:7). Every eye-whether one lives in Russia or America, India or Africa, Samoa or Guyana-every eye shall see Him!
Christ's parousia will be audible, for all shall hear Him. His coming will be announced "with a shout. It will be declared by the "voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God." That sound will resound from the Arctic to the Antarctic! The shout will be heard by the living, and its echoes will be heard by the dead, for "the dead in Christ shall rise first" (1 Thessalonians 4:16, KJv).
More than that, the Second Advent of Jesus will be glorious and all shall feel Him. He will be coming "with power and great glory" (Matthew 24:30, KJV). The heavens shall be ablazed with grandeur and glory that is beyond the splendor of a thousand suns, or the majesty of a million moons, or the brilliance of a billion angels! Every being will feel the power of His presence. What a day that will be! We shall see Him! We shall hear Him! We shall feel the grandeur of His glory!
Two Families
It will be the end of the world! t will be the climax of the age! Everything on earth will come to a stop! All the banks will be empty for money will be worthless. The dance halls will be empty for their music Will have no attraction. The liquor houses will be empty for alcohol will have no customers. The dens of prostitution will be empty for tne harlots will be out of business. On that awesome day, there will be only two families. Those who said "No" to Jesus will run away from the Savior. They will cry to the ountry's ntains and the city's rocks, "Fall on us and hide us from the face of him who sits on thee throne and from the wrath of the Lamb!" (Revelation 6:16). But those who have said "Yes" to Jesus will run toward their Redeemer. With Isaiah they will sing, "Lo, this is our God; we have waited for him and he will save us" (lsaiah 25:9, Kjv). With John they will join the triumphant chorus, "Come, Lord Jesus" (Revelation 22:20, KJv). Only two families: the family of Satan and the family of God! And you and I will be standing on one side or the other. Which will it be?
Could we each turn our hearts to heaven and say, "Dear Lord, thank You for loving me. I'm glad for the good news that You're coming back for me. Ilove You, and long to be with You. I want to see You, to hear You, and to feel Your glory. Please make me ready to meet You and live with You forever."
Let's have a coffee
Hari
Blessings...
