The Feminine Need for Self-Esteem

Inferiority and self-doubt lead to feelings of inadequacy, lack of confidence, thoughts of worthlessness, and despair. A woman sometimes feels alone and wonders if anyone cares. The woman with inferior feelings experiences fear when speaking with her peers and may feel foolish afterwards. Such experiences result in her feeling that the best of life is passing by without her really enjoying it or achieving anything worthwhile. Depression causes one to feel unloved, unlovable, lonely, and sad and to conclude that others have more talent.

Low self-esteem can threaten any member of the family. It causes persons to feel that they are not respected by others. What persons think others think about them affects their emotions significantly. If it is concluded that others think they are dumb, ugly, or lazy, they cannot live with themselves. An eminent physician recently stated that a man who believes he has no further worth or purpose in living will be dead in eighteen months. Rebellious, hostile teenagers are usually those who are bitterly disappointed with who they are and with what they are becoming.

Low self-esteem afflicts men as well as women, but it has been aggravated among women by the demeaning criticisms of the traditional role of housewife. No serious woman wants to waste her life with insignificant activities. In recent years, traditional responsibilities of raising children and maintaining a home have been attacked with disrespect and ridicule. These attacks have caused more women to become disenchanted with their roles and to question whether they are being used by men to do the lowly and undesirable tasks. They are being told that normal women do not like domestic duties and responsibilities and cannot be happy at home. If the husband likewise communicates the view that the wife's work at home is less important than his, her self-esteem is sure to suffer.

Dobson points out that another cause for decline in self-respect has to do with the physical attractiveness of the woman. If a woman conceives of herself as ugly, she is almost certain to feel inferior to her peers. With society's placing so much emphasis on sex, physical beauty is idolized; therefore, the opposite of the approved sublimes said scorned. Advertisers make women aware of the slightest physical flaws in order to sell their products which claim to be remedies. The constant calling attention to certain textures of skin and complexions causes women to feel inferior and inadequate over the least physical imperfections.

Although there is no fundamental difference in the level of intelligence between men and women, men in the business or professional world have been deducted as more intelligent than housewives. Unfortunately in many societies, greater attention is given to the education of boys than girls. Generally, men score high on tests in mathematics and philosophy, but women excel in verbal skills. Intellectual ability varies greatly within each sex. Usually men gain higher levels of education because of the need to develop skills for their occupations. Society pays homage to intelligence. Intellectual pride may cause persons to conclude that those occupying positions which require advanced education are making a greater contribution to life than those that do manual labor or tend to home affairs.

Recent psychologist have concluded that personality, human growth, and happiness center in relationships and not in a person's accumulation of facts. If mankind is the climax of creation and humanness depends on social relation, then life centers in relationships. The mother whose personality and love largely shape the lives of her children functions in society's most important role.

A person who feels inferior tends to withdraw and refuses to participate where risks are involved. Many persons who have significant contributions to make to a group or to a project refuse to get involved because of their fear of what others might think. Every person has felt I'll at ease in the presence of a highly trained professional or s person of wealth. A young preacher probably will feel inferior at times in the presence of a doctor, lawyer, or political leader. The political leader may know no more or not as much, but his position has given to him self-confidence. The traditional role of woman in the home has not provided her with many opportunities to mix with community and state leaders, therefore, she tends to feel insecure and develops a low self-esteem of her abilities. This view of herself produces anxieties when she mixes with others, and her safest resource is to withdraw and not risk ridicule

If the husband fails to understand the situation of his wife, he also will likely conclude that she is limited in ability and thus will add to her feelings of inferiority. Women of this movement have concluded that the solution to their feelings of inferiority and inadequacy is to attack the traditional role of women and to deny their inherent characteristics. Militant feminists today are attacking everything about the home, childrearing, marriage, and sexual morality. Anger and hostility are poor solutions for feelings of inferiority and inadequacy. To deny one's God-given nature will not eliminate feelings of inferiority. Rather, women need to understand that their personal worth is the same as that of men. Those who have self-esteem and a healthy view of personal worth do not feel the need to be equal with men in every aspect of society. Women have the instinctive tendency to desire a family and home. Humanistic and materialistic philosophies are ignoring this innate desire of womanhood and are suggesting that higher fulfillment comes in the professional and economic realms. Lasting happiness is impossible until a woman learns to accept herself. Frustrated and insecure women may deny this natural longing and substitute lesser desires, but the woman who admits this longing should be unashamed that God has made her this way.

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