Avoid becoming a fixer.
We tend to make our wedding vows too lightly. When you married you stood at the altar, not the alter. When you promised to take the person beside you for better or for worse, you made a solemn vow before God. You took on your partners flaws, weaknesses, irritations, and all. Now your duty is to live up to your promise-not reluctantly with distaste or disapproval, but with full of acceptance of the person you married for what he or she is.
When one mate assumes the right to fix the other, the result is ineffective at best and usually creates distance. Marriage is a bonding of equals. When one assumes the right to fix the other, the mutuality of the relationship goes out of balance and the marriage wobbles on its axis. The 'fixer' assumes a superior position over the 'fixee'. The fixer becomes the judge and the fixee becomes the accused.
The imbalance generates negative emotions in both partners. The spouse on the receiving end of the fix feels resentment, rejection, and probably a sense of inadequacy. The spouse administering the fix exudes a sense of disapproval, and when the other mate resists the fix, that disapproval can expand into a grudge- an embedded offense that poisons every interaction between them.
-Enjoy marriage for you both are temporarily situated, but eternally bond in the eyes of the maker.
Hari
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